Nothing Gold Ever Stays
by xXTailoredDreamsXx
Summary: "The choices we make when we're young, decide who we will be when we're old, Bella. One right choice can change everything. One wrong choice can take everything away." When you meet your soulmate at the age of one, it pretty much maps out your entire existence, whether you want it to or not ... regardless of our choices, or any of the consequences, those choices might bring.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 _ **A/N:**_ _Surprised? I know I was when this plot bunny hopped right on into my head and refused to let me go while on vacation a few weeks ago. This will be my first jab at a "coming of age" story with a twist, and it will be pretty heavy in the drama and angst department, but there will also be plenty of fluff to help balance things out. It's a story that will take place during the summer months throughout several years of Bella and Edward's life._

 _Because it takes place during the summer, I really wanted to get it up and rolling before the actual summer ended. *heavy sigh*_

 ** _The title of this fic was inspired by the poem, 'Nothing Gold Can Stay', written by Robert Frost. I still remember having to dissect his words, line for line, in my Creative Writing class back in High School. To this day, whenever I hear it mentioned, it always brings me back to those angst-filled teenage years ... where every day felt like it could be your last because all that mattered was the 'now' since the future seemed far off and distant, filled with vast unimportance._**

 _Lots of people to thank with the opening of things; SunflowerFran beta'd this prologue and parts of chapter one for me when I was having a hard time finding someone to take on the job, but also feeling super anxious to get things started. Many many thanks to her for that! Snoopylover60 helped me figure out the summary, because she's awesome like that, and those things never come easy, (since I'm such a wordy be'otch). My pre-readers BPLemons and myonlyheroin rock like nobody's business, and they also keep my sanity in check by letting me vent out all of my frustrations._

 _I cannot thank those four women enough, because, without them, this story would still be sitting in my head, and in my Google Docs driving me nuts to share!_

 _I've got the first couple of chapters complete, but they're not all beta'd yet, so I'm not quite sure of an update schedule. The words are flowing for these new characters though, and there's no sign of that letting up any time soon!_

* * *

 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

* **Prologue** *

On my very first birthday, at the tender age of one, I met my soulmate.

It also happened to be his first birthday.

Sixteen years later, after we'd blown out our candles together in tradition with our families, he'd whispered in my ear that he'd also met his soulmate on that very same day.

Figuratively speaking, if I were a hopeless romantic, that would mean a piece of our hearts had lived outside of our bodies at the same time since before either of us could walk and talk.

Hypothetically speaking, in a perfect world, I would be able to say, ' _And we lived happily ever after.- The End'._

This was not a perfect world though, and at seventeen, I also made the rational decision to never _ever_ become a hopeless romantic … ever again.

On the day we'd turned one, we'd each had identical smash cakes. Both of them chocolate and covered in rainbow sprinkles with the typical store-bought number one candle, top, and center.

As the story goes; I'd only wanted his cake, and he'd only wanted mine.

Eventually, we'd shared and painted each other's face with icing, sprinkles, beach sand and seaweed.

Of course, I don't actually remember any of this _vividly_... but there are pictures.

 _So many pictures._

Through the pictures, I'm able to remember.

We've celebrated almost _all_ of our shared birthdays together, him and me.

There's a photo album for each and every one of them … except for the year we turned eighteen.

Because that was the year _I_ hid.

Oh, and the year we turned twenty.

That was the year _he_ hid.

To this day, our families still spend six weeks out of every summer together on a private island, not far from Cape Charles, Virginia.

We have all of the basic luxuries on that island, minus easily accessible, outside communication, or cable television.

Wi-Fi?

Forever non-existent.

It was a small island, and we'd named it _Prima,_ because it was an island meant for _firsts_.

 _Our_ firsts.

That had been decided on our ninth birthday, just after we'd blown out our candles and taken off together back down to the beach to wash off our faces and hands to share our first pop kiss to the cheek.

Prima was _our_ island.

Well … it wasn't, but it was.

Almost every summer, for six weeks, we were stolen away from the rest of the world to be together with our families, and one another.

For six weeks, every summer our families became one.

Eventually, he and I became more.

… And then we were nothing…

… And then we were more …

Then nothing.

Then more …

No matter how wrong it was, sometimes, the _more_ would always find its way back in.

It was _never_ supposed to be this way - this less than normal existence of ours.

We'd always known we'd eventually have to grow up.

' _The choices we make when we're young, decide who we will be when we're old, Bella. One right choice can change everything. One wrong choice can take everything away.'_

Those were my father's words.

He used to say them often.

At this point, I think he's given up on me.

At this point, I can't blame him.

I am, after all, the virtuoso daughter who was supposed to become something and do so much more with her life.

What happens to a person's destiny though, when they decide all of the wrong choices don't _have_ to alter their entire existence by taking _everything_ away?

What happens if that person refuses to re-route, or accept all those changes that should have been made?

That's the question I've been asking myself since our nineteenth birthday, once everything began to really blur and spiral out of our control.

In order to understand how we'd gotten here, and where it might take us next, we would first have to go back to the very beginning of it all.

Back to when pacts were made, dares were met, and we'd learned to follow our impulses without the fear of unwanted repercussions ever seeping into our seamlessly-braided, short-term realities.

* * *

 **A/N:** So this is the start, but this was not the beginning. *wink*

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Are we intrigued?

 _ *****Reviews make me smile, and who doesn't like to make someone smile?*****_

 _ ***If you leave me your words, I'll pay it forward with a sneak peek, right away in your inbox, for Chapter 1.***_

 _P.S. If you're waiting for the next Aliases and Avatars update you can expect to see that within the next 4-6 days._


	2. All Good Things Have Endings

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 _ **A/N**_ _: I have been blown away by all of the feedback I've received so far for the prologue! Thank you guys so much for reading, and for also sharing your words with me! I really am excited about this story, and I hope you'll continue to be just as excited with me. :)_

 _Many many many thanks to my girls, myonlyheroin and BPlemons who have continued to hold my hand with these first couple of chapters! Any and all mistakes are mine at the hands of my twitchy fingertips._

* * *

 _ ***Nothing Gold Ever Stays***_

 **Chapter 1**

 **All Good Things Have Endings**

 ***.*.*.*.*.*.*.***

The relentless morning sun was shining through the curtainless windows of our living room, waking me like an uninvited seagull pecking away at my face.

I let out a loud groan from where I was lying, _with_ a metal bar digging deeply into the center of my back, then straightened out my legs under the quilt that was still draped over my body.

After impulsively swinging my arms up into the air and dramatically dropping them out at my sides, I'd accidentally made contact with my younger brother's face.

This, of course, triggered me to pull up the pillow from behind my head in order to cover my own face and block out his over the top tantrum, after having been so ' _viciously attacked_ ', as he'd so eloquently worded it in his sleep-deprived pubescent voice.

"Seriously Bella, what the hell?"

"Charlie is going to pop you in the mouth if he hears you talking like that," I warned with my eyes still sealed shut from behind the pillow where I was refusing to acknowledge this new day.

" _Dad_ snuck out the front door about an hour ago for his morning run," Jasper mumbled back, "My room better be fumigated by tonight, or I'm sleeping on the damn beach with a stupid sleeping bag and a flashlight."

"Because bugs don't live outside?" I asked, smirking to myself.

I'd already had the same idea he'd had, only mine involved using an actual tent like a _normal_ person.

Bugs didn't bother me though… usually.

Anything would be better than sleeping on this damn pull-out bed, in a room with no stupid blinds or curtains on any of the _effing_ windows.

After arriving at our summer rental home on the island, just before three in the morning, we'd discovered that both of the bedrooms upstairs had acquired new inhabitants since it had last had any visitors.

The kind of inhabitants that fly, buzz, sting and make most girls scream.

Jasper had played the leading female role in last night's comedic adventures.

I was the one laughing hysterically on the floor.

That was, until our father had pulled out the mattress from the sofa downstairs and told us to share it until he could get a fumigator out to the island today.

"I heard a boat pull up about thirty minutes ago."

I still didn't open my eyes, but I did let out a heavy sigh, "Jesus. Have you been lying here awake contemplating life for the last hour while listening to the going-ons of the world pass you by? You're thirteen years old, not thirty, _Jazz_. Sleep is very much needed if you ever want to be taller than Alice Cullen again," I casually taunted from behind my pillow.

This, of course, earned me several more smacks from his own sack of feathers and cotton directly towards my head.

"Just because it's your birthday tomorrow, don't think I won't beat the crap out of you, _Izzy_."

"One more year until I have my license to drive, _little_ brother. Better be nice if you want any rides to the mall with your stupid friends... And call me _Izzy_ again, one more time! See where your Skateboard ends up before the day is over." I warned, glaring at him.

He snickered something profane under his breath in response to my threats, but I didn't care enough to ask him to repeat it.

My thoughts were already far and away at the beach house next door.

The insinuation had been that the Cullen's were here.

My brother wouldn't have made a big deal about the Tori's, who stayed in the one-story yellow and white house across from the firepit at the center of our circle.

Nope.

Jasper knew better.

The only arrival I cared about was _his,_ but him and I also haven't spoken at all in over two months.

That was not the norm.

Not for us.

I finally sat up and removed myself from the mattress, then stretched my arms out high above my head and let out a loud sigh, "Is mom up?" I asked, looking behind him at the master bedroom's closed door beside the staircase.

"Not that I've witnessed with my eyes, or heard with my ears."

"Good."

With that news, I walked across the room towards the oversized front bay windows, then placed my hands above my eyes to block out the rays of natural light while I peered to the right at the two-story, yellow, white and aqua home that housed the Cullen's, and their family of six during the summer.

 _They really are here._

Half of their suitcases were still stacked on the deck waiting to be brought inside.

I didn't know why Edward had gone completely AWOL out of absolutely nowhere two months ago.

Or why he'd stopped returning my emails, since it was the only way we were usually able to communicate without someone hovering from behind us, trying to eavesdrop.

What I did know, was that I deserve an explanation ... no matter how much that explanation might end up hurting my heart.

I still needed to hear it.

This was literally the first time _ever,_ from as far back as my memories could go, where I was actually dreading seeing him and his ridiculously perfect smile.

I hated that.

It didn't feel natural.

It didn't feel right.

It felt … _wrong_.

 _So_ wrong.

Any other summer, I would be changing into my bathing suit to rush out the side door and throw pebbles at his bedroom window.

This summer … I didn't know what to do.

"What are you waiting for? You know you want to go find him."

"Shut up, twerp."

Jasper laughed from behind me, then followed it up with another pillow thrown to my head.

I ducked, and grabbed it from the wood floor and instantly sent it back his way with twice as much force.

"Well, I'm getting dressed and going up to the tree house. You can sit in here and mope from the window. Today is the _first_ of the _firsts_ , and we're wasting time in here."

I turned my head and watched him go into the downstairs bathroom, then noticed movement coming from the Cullen's porch.

It was Alice and Esme.

AKA: Edward's little sister, and mother.

I smiled, noticing how much older Alice actually looked, and then smirked over the thought of my brother's reaction in response to the new breasts she'd so obviously grown since last year.

Thirteen.

Such a fun age.

I almost envied Alice and Jasper.

Almost.

It would actually be pretty humorous to witness my brother's tongue-tied reaction upon seeing his secret crush for the first time this summer, _bosoms_ and all... Especially since he finds such complete joy in tormenting me over her older brother almost daily.

I'm now feeling extremely motivated to join Jasper at the treehouse, back behind the Tori's house, where it's hidden past the mass of trees that lead to the north side of the island and the smaller beach us 'kids' had claimed as our own a few years back.

No adults allowed.

It had been written.

There was even a sign that we'd made five years ago, on an old piece of wood that had washed up onto the beach.

My legs took me upstairs, and my fingertips traced everything I passed until they were able to reach into my suitcase at the end of the hallway. I went into the bathroom and changed into my white bikini top and black Quiksilver boardshorts from last year, then tied my unbrushed hair up into a ponytail at the back of my head.

One quick glance in the mirror caused me to grimace on impulse.

I really could have used another hour or two of beauty sleep.

 _Stupid sun._

 _Stupid pull out bed._

 _Stupid curtainless windows._

On my way out, I nearly bumped right into our mother after she'd come out from the master bedroom at the bottom of the stairs with her purple silky eye-mask still positioned over her freshly Botoxed forehead.

She looked well rested.

I was jealous.

"You're dressed."

"Yup. First day for firsts. Jasper and I are going up to the treehouse."

My mother smirked and nodded her head in response, but I didn't add anything else because the less she knew was almost always for the better.

After letting out a soft sigh, she put her hands over her hips and scanned my outfit choice several times with her forever judgmental eyes.

She clearly did not approve.

More than likely, she was thinking I should put on a t-shirt if I was going to be running around the island, and not actually swimming today.

Thankfully, she knows I don't care what she thinks, so she's going to keep all of this to herself.

"Just be home for lunch, Bella. The Tori's will be joining us."

"What about the Cullen's?"

My mother smiled a little wider this time.

This annoyed me, but she doesn't care.

"I haven't spoken to Esme yet, but I'm sure we will all eat together the same way we do every year on our first day of the summer together. Plus, she and I need to take the boat into town to pick up some things for your birthday dinner tomorrow. Any special requests?"

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

Honestly, with the way things had been between Edward and me, I'd rather skip the day entirely this year.

"Alright, My Little Pony decorations it is! Is Rainbow Dash still your favorite, honey?"

I rolled my eyes this time because I knew she wouldn't dare.

That was when my ears heard the front door open and close from across the house.

Jasper now had a head start.

"See you at lunch! No ponies!"

Before my mom could say anything else, I was running after my brother, out the front door, and onto the sandy pathway, trying my best to catch up to him without shouting like a maniac who was running from an ax-wielding-murderer.

While passing by the Cullen's house, without even glancing in its direction, I could feel his eyes on me from his bedroom window upstairs.

I smirked to myself but kept running at full speed without slowing down, all the while, silently hoping he'd enjoyed the view I'd just provided his virginal eyes.

The Tori's house was quiet. They usually didn't get moving until closer to lunchtime during the first week we were all here, so this was not out of the ordinary.

As much as I was looking forward to seeing Irina, her older sister Heidi, who was mine and Edward's age, was one of the last people in the world I'd wish to start my first day with.

I quickly rounded the corner, at full speed, towards the back of their house, then planted my heels into the pebbled dirt after almost running right into Ben... Heidi and Irina's older brother.

"Woah there, little swan! You're up early!"

 _Sweet baby Jesus! Ben has grown a lot, too._

My eyes scanned his shirtless torso, and I felt them go wide as my face flushed over the sight of his newly acquired muscles… muscles he'd apparently worked very hard at chiseling into perfection since last summer.

"Ben, hi! Yup!" I was out of breath, "First day for firsts!" I reached my arms out to hug him, and he returned the sentiment without making it too weird, even though I was sure my face was now a bright shade of fire engine red, and _not_ from running.

He took a step back and smiled softly after looking me up and down with his baby blue eyes.

"You got taller."

"You got… _muscles_." I managed to choke out, then felt like a complete and total idiot for it seconds later.

He laughed, and nodded his head, seemingly proud that I'd noticed.

"Football. I was the starting quarterback last year. First junior in twenty years!"

"Congrats! Much impressive."

I didn't know what else to say.

I hated football, and his muscles were distracting me.

This seems… _weird._

"You should put a shirt on."

He laughed at my suggestion and cocked his brow in my direction, "I'm going out on one of the boats. Want to come with?"

"Where's Irina?"

She's the sister I like.

I felt like I needed her here.

 _Why do you feel like you need his little sister here?_

Hormones.

That's what my mother would say.

 _This is Benjamin Tori for Chrissakes!_

 _He's practically one of two older brothers you've never had!_

 _Jesus, his muscles are pretty… and when did he start smiling like that?_

Dammit, I really needed Irina here.

"Ri is still sleeping. Her and Heidi were up late trying to wait for you guys to get in."

"Well, we didn't get in until almost three in the morning. Bug's have taken over both of the bedrooms upstairs. Jasper and I might actually be sleeping in a tent down on the beach tonight."

"Maybe you guys can take the number four house this summer?"

I shook my head, "No, mom wants _our_ house. She says it wouldn't be the same. We'll figure it out."

Ben smiled again, and I noticed his blue eyes lingering for three seconds too long at the center of my chest.

I'd finally grown boobs this past year too.

Ben noticed.

Unfortunately, they aren't as big as Alice's, but they were there, and that was something.

Last summer, I'd been teased relentlessly over my slow paced… _growth_ when it came to typical teenage female anatomy.

This year, things would be different, _and_ I'd packed accordingly.

I reveled in my all natural accomplishment for a quick second, then made it a point to straighten my shoulders with rehearsed confidence, never once looking away from him while I smirked his direction.

Ben grinned back, and I watched him slowly nod his head with awkward approval.

My opened hand instantly covered my laugh and I took a step closer towards him to give his shoulder a playful shove, then placed my hands firmly at my hips to stand proudly with zero shame, "I guess you guys can't tease me _this_ summer!"

"Nope, I guess we can't, _little_ swan. So, wanna come? Yes or No? We can even go over to the north side of the tiny island and explore, maybe snorkel? Low tide is in an hour."

I thought this _first_ opportunity of the day over but then shook my head declining his invitation, "Maybe later. I have to catch up to Jasper. He's over at the tree house. See you at lunch!"

Without waiting for him to say anything else, I took off running again, but not without feeling his eyes at my back. This made me smile. It felt nice, being noticed by him ... as something other than the annoying _little_ girl who lived across the firepit and played with his kid sister.

Seconds later, I passed through the overgrown brush just before the line of trees that separated our houses from the small patch of forest on Prima, and I didn't look back. When the sun was out to show me the way, it wasn't a long run through the woods to get to the other end of the island.

As soon as I'd reached the clearing, I saw Jasper already up high, sitting at the top level of our tree house looking in the opposite direction out towards the north end of the beach and its calmed ocean surf.

He was clearly lost in thought… Probably daydreaming about what it will be like to kiss Alice Cullen for the first time ever this summer.

I almost hated to interrupt him.

 _Almost_.

All of the dads had come together to build our fortress in the small forest eight summers ago. Every year thereafter, they'd added on a new addition until two summers ago when the actual owners of the island had said our tree house was turning into a shanty of a tree mansion and it was time to shut down the expansions.

Jasper had heard me coming up the second ladder to get to the very top level where he was standing, "Everything looks just like it did when we left last year."

"That's because the only other renters who ever come here are apparently a bunch of weirdo swingers with secret fetishes. Fetishes that more than likely keep them locked away inside where they can play with all of their freaky adult _toys_. Remember that boxes we found last year in the attic?! I still haven't fully recovered from that."

My brother laughed at the mental picture I'd given him, then tossed me a green apple from his right hand.

I took a few bites, and aside from my obnoxiously loud chewing, we sat there in silence, looking out at the ocean from the treetops, appreciating our small kingdom and all of its summertime glory.

Silence had the potential to bug me.

No matter who I shared it with.

Blood-related, or not.

"I ran into Ben. He grew muscles. Head's up, Alice grew some pretty sweet boobs."

I looked over just in time to see my brother's cheeks turning an obscenely deep shade of crimson.

This made me smirk.

I'd been teasing poor Jasper over his not so secret newfound infatuation in regards to sweet innocent Alice Cullen since the day I'd found one of her photos hidden under his pillow shortly after we'd returned home to Las Vegas last year.

He, of course, returns the sentiment by throwing my obsession for one of her older brothers in my face almost daily.

Our father says it's how we bond.

My mother says they're lucky we haven't killed each other yet.

"Her boobs are actually bigger than mine. I think I might hate her a little for that. I mean … I'm practically two years older. It's really kind of _not_ cool."

"Can we please _not_ talk about your boobs, Bella?"

"Okay. Would you rather we talk about your handwritten plan to kiss Alice Mary Cullen this summer, sweet brother of mine?"

He looked at me and glared.

I'd clearly been snooping in his room again.

"Shut up, Bella, or I'll tell Edward _all_ about Jake!"

His threat missed the mark because I'd already come prepared.

"There's nothing to tell. We broke up."

Jasper looked a bit bothered by this news.

I don't know why.

I'd actually expected him to fully celebrate it.

"You only did that so you'd be free to suck Edward's face without any guilt following you home this year," He finally shot back after finding his tongue again.

My brother ducked from the apple core I'd thrown at his head, and then he swiftly stuck his bony middle finger out in my direction.

We sat in silence after that.

This was unfortunate.

Now I was actually processing what he'd said, and I was thinking back to last summer.

Back to when I'd cheated on my first semi-serious boyfriend, Mike Newton.

It all started one night after a bonfire with our families.

Edward and I had shared our _first_ real kiss right here in this same very spot at the top of our tree house when piercing silence had settled in around us, just before a heavy rain had begun to fall, trapping us here all alone.

He'd known I'd had a boyfriend, but by week two here on Prima, he'd successfully reminded me that when we were here, our lives back on the mainland didn't matter.

Everyone… everything else, it didn't _have_ to exist.

This was our own kingdom surrounded by the sea with our own set of rules because when we were here, rules were always meant to be broken, except, of course, for the _Three Rules of Prima_.

At five years old, we'd snuck out from our designated play area in the front yard and wandered down to the beach together for two whole hours before anyone had noticed. We'd become excellent swimmers by the time we were three, so our parents hadn't worried too much, but that was our first official taste of rebellion.

We'd been hooked ever since.

At six, we'd gotten into the pantry and eaten a week's worth of junk food.

All the regrets, but not until an hour later when we were taking turns puking into the toilet.

When we were seven, we stole twenty dollars from my dad's wallet. We'd, of course, spent it all on glow stick related items from the Dollar Tree during one of our shopping trips for groceries with Edward's parents into town.

Unfortunately, karma found its way back to us the very next night when we'd been running around on the beach, with said glow-sticks in our hands, and ended up slamming right into one another, head first after tripping in the sand.

We both have matching scars right above our eyebrows to prove that core-memory true.

Mine was on the left.

His was on the right.

At eight, we started to get a little more adventurous, and with our adventures, we'd also started to include Jasper and Alice during said adventuring.

This had not pleased our mothers, but the dads… Well, let's just say I'd caught them giving each other high fives on more than one occasion over the years.

Eight was also the year we met the Tori's for the first time. Looking back, that's probably why I pushed so much harder that summer and started to test my parent's limits a little more when it came to us exploring around the island.

Even back then, I didn't want Edward getting bored with me to the point where he'd feel like he'd need to look towards someone else for causing mischief with around our kingdom by the sea.

"Bella, are you listening to me?"

I shook my head and blinked hard, "Sorry. I checked out for a second."

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately."

"I have a lot on my mind lately."

"You're fifteen, not fifty."

I smirked, realizing he's throwing a similar line I'd used on him earlier in the day right back onto me.

"You'll understand better in two years. High School changes _everything_."

He rolled his eyes, then leaned his shoulder into mine to give it a light push.

"I'm just saying… Jacob Black wasn't… he _isn't_ good for you. You don't see him… he only lets you see what he wants you to see."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

He's never liked Jake.

Ever.

"I told you. We broke up. You don't need to stress out about it anymore."

Jasper was right though, I did only break up with Jacob Black so I could suck face with Edward Cullen for the summer.

Other than that, Jake and I had a pretty good thing going back in Nevada.

He was the most popular boy in school, class president, and his family was wealthy as well as extremely affluent in the community.

More importantly, when I was around, he was usually on his best behavior because he knew I wouldn't put up with his ridiculousness when we were together with his friends.

It was no secret, though, that Jake could be a bit of a bully, but I rarely witnessed it, so my brother's disapproval had never meant very much to me throughout my freshman year.

Besides, we were here now.

Nothing about home mattered when we were here.

Edward and I had made our first of many pacts when we were eight after spending the entire night staring up at the sky with his telescope in our backyard.

We'd promised each other we would never ever let anyone come between us, _or_ our friendship.

Life was so much simpler at eight.

Our pacts back then had been made in absolute innocence, with very little understanding of what the future might actually bring. At fourteen, in this same very spot ... that was when we'd first begun to realize that our pacts had the potential to cause even more rebellion from the norm we were both used to.

We didn't care though. We'd spent the next four weeks practicing our kissing skills around the island, and holding hands whenever our parents hadn't been around to make it feel awkward.

When it was just us 'kids,' and Heidi was around, I'd lay it on extra thick.

That was, of course, done with calculated purpose. This was because Heidi's crush on Edward always needed to be checked at least three, to four times during the course of our summers here.

Last year, when she'd learned I'd come to the island with a boyfriend, she'd turned the dial way up during those first two weeks.

Luckily for me, Edward hadn't seemed to notice too much.

Luckily for Heidi, I hadn't pulled her hair from her head before I'd come to my senses.

As soon as we'd returned home I'd broken up with Mike.

There's, of course, always been a lingering guilt over that... Especially after he'd shown up with flowers in his hands at the airport to welcome me and my family back to Vegas.

Leave it to my little brother to shove that unpleasant memory right back into my face when I was already stressing about other possible problematic situations that might ruin my summer.

"I've matured. I won't be that person again. I did the right thing this time and... _suspended_ things."

"I thought you said you broke up with him?"

"It's summer break, Jazz. Who knows what will happen when we go back home and start school again. All options will remain on the table. Limits only keep your soul grounded and your spirit stationary. You know this."

"Everyone should have limits. Your limits should start with Jacob Black."

Jasper took a seat at the edge of the floorboards, and I positioned myself beside him, then leaned against the wood railing in front of us. Our legs slowly began to sway side by side, forward and backward, the way legs automatically do when solid ground goes missing, no matter how old you become. This made me smirk and also take in a deep breath to bring the salty beach air deep into my lungs before letting it all out again with a loud sigh.

"Don't worry about me. I can handle Jake."

With the sound of him clearing his throat, I abruptly realized he was about to say something that could potentially frustrate the hell out of me.

"Look, I'm just saying, you should never settle for less than you're worth. That's what Grandpa always said. Don't be that _girl_ , Izzy. Cut your losses and consider it a win. Start your Sophmore year without the extra baggage. That's all Jake has ever been. Baggage with a big mouth."

For a brief moment, I forgot Jasper was my thirteen-year-old _kid_ brother, but then I remembered he called me Izzy again, so now I wanted to hurt him.

I swiftly kicked my left foot out in front of me and swung it down hard to meet his shin, purposely using my pointed heel in the process, before reveling in his pain-filled yelp, "Stop trying to sound all wise and beyond your years. It's annoying." I further warned.

He smirked and shook his head after pulling his knee up into his chest to rub at his leg, "Seriously though, this summer is going to be different. I can feel it in my bones. Maybe you're right about not setting limits? Maybe it's time I start to drive mom and dad crazy the way you always do when we're here and live a little more, without stopping long enough to second guess everything."

I laughed and leaned back on my arms, "I'm not so sure I like this poetic-deep-thought side of you. Maybe you should throw a football around with Ben this summer."

Now it was my turn to receive his heel sent into my shin.

Our conversation promptly ended there after we noticed someone coming up through the thick bushes below the tree line at the foot of the hill where our treehouse loomed over the rest of our kingdom by the sea.

 _It's him_.

"I'm going to um, go get that tarp for the main roof. It looks like it might rain. Best to prepare for tonight."

I realized what he was doing, but to thank him for it would just be … _weird_.

Before I could say anything, my brother was leaping from the floor we were sharing and scurrying down the bottom level's ladder.

Jasper gave Edward a high-five at the ground, and I watched them exchange a few quiet words while the anticipation of being next to him again started to affect my crumbling sanity.

My heart felt like it might splinter into a million tiny fragments seeing him smile and run his hand through his gorgeous auburn colored hair in the bright morning sun.

I quickly decided to go over onto the other side of the tree house to check on all of our wall carvings in the main room… which was apparently in need of a tarp, according to Jasper.

My anxiety riddled nerves were firing at rapid speed, and my stomach was twisting itself into easy knots.

Twitterpated.

 _Thanks, Bambi._

That's what this was.

This is what _he_ does to me.

He makes me feel anything and everything all at once until my insides ignite with fire, and my thoughts spiral into beautiful chaos and tailor-made destruction.

Sometimes I hated that.

Other times, it felt like something I could never get enough of.

 _Most_ of the time, I felt like I might actually lose my mind when we shared a room or small space, and I couldn't be right beside him.

Even through his emails, when our summers would end, I'd find myself lost in thoughts filled with memories of him for hours, days, weeks, even months afterward.

Obviously, I was too young to have such strong feelings for a boy I see only six weeks out of the year.

It was honest to God irresponsibly ludicrous.

At least, that's what our family therapist would say.

I didn't care though, and I always ignored our therapist whenever he did say it.

This was our kingdom, and on this island, we lived by a different set of rules with limited limits, and far and distant boundaries.

That had been another pact we'd made… back when we were twelve, and he'd held my hand for the first time, with purpose, right under our parent's noses at the picnic table we'd shared with both of our families.

"Hey, _you_ ,"

I'd been so deep in thought, I hadn't even noticed him come up from behind me.

I turned around and smiled, then stood there with my arms dangling at my sides and my head tilted from the sun that was shining in through one of the oddly shaped sawed out windows of our fortress.

I wanted to reach out and grab him.

I wanted to pull him up against me and hold him so tightly with my arms that I'd be able to feel his heart actually beating with my own.

He didn't move.

He barely even smiled.

 _He's hesitating_.

It's breaking me.

At once, I remembered he'd stopped writing two months ago, and with that memory, I slowly crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I saw Ben this morning."

Why in the world I would choose _that_ as my opening line for the summer was beyond me.

I could feel my cheeks turning red.

"Yeah, I saw you two talking from my window. His um … _neck_ got shorter."

I smirked and nodded, "You look the same."

I liked that he looks the same.

"You look… _beautiful_."

I melted and then threw myself into his arms.

He held me there, for what felt like a _perfect_ forever, then let out a soft sigh from just above my ear.

"Why did you stop returning my emails?" I asked without moving. I didn't want to let him go. If I did it would be too soon, and for some reason, I feared this might be our first, and last embrace for the summer.

I'm terrified of what he might say in response to my inquiry, but I needed answers.

I deserved them.

Yes, we only saw each other for six weeks out of the year, but we usually talked via email at least once or twice a week when those six weeks were up. When he'd gone silent two months ago I'd worried he'd been in a terrible accident.

It was just so unlike him.

I'd become convinced that he'd died in some horrible way.

I'd even forced my mom to call his mom, but all she'd reported back was that Edward had been busy studying for his finals, and I would see him soon.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I should have written you back,"

More hesitation.

He's clearly not telling me something.

I have a feeling I already know, but I can't bring myself to say the words to call him out on it.

This was our kingdom, but with every second that passed us by, I could tell that doesn't matter anymore.

"What's her name?" I finally mumbled, refusing to look up at him. He didn't remove me from his arms. Instead, he increased his grasp but said nothing. "You couldn't at least wait until the end of July, Edward?"

He laughed this time, and I felt his body relax further against mine.

"Her name is, Charlotte. We met at one of my sister's tennis matches during spring break. She's pretty great. I actually think you'd like her. She reminds me of you."

It was true then.

He really had met someone.

A real someone, who lived in his actual _real_ world.

Edward had come here with Charlotte waiting for him back in Chicago.

I wriggled myself from his arms but still avoided his eyes.

I didn't know what to say now, or how to react.

I felt broken.

Cheated.

Hurt.

Betrayed.

Left behind.

Last year when it had been me… when I'd been the one to tell him I had someone waiting for me back home in Vegas… he'd laughed and said; ' _So what? This is our kingdom surrounded by the sea. We have our own rules here. Our own limited limits. The outside world means nothing when we're together, Bella.'_

Then he'd kissed me.

I'd kissed him back.

Hard.

So hard.

For some reason, right now … in this moment … I don't have the courage to say or do the same.

There was something about the way her name had left his lips.

He liked her.

I could tell.

He actually liked her a lot.

Before he could say anything else, I jumped to the lower level of our treehouse.

From there, I bypassed the ladder, then dropped myself one more level onto the solid ground, not caring that I was still a good twelve feet high.

 _Not a graceful landing._

My ankle hurt, and my knee was bleeding, but I pushed through the pain and ran.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Poor Bella. :(_

 _Teenage heartbreak is rough._

 _Do you remember the first time it happened to you? Who, or what did you turn to?_

 _So, this is the beginning with an end, but will that ending last for Bella and Edward throughout their entire summer before their Sophomore year?_

 _Hopefully, you're not too mad at Edward, he's just a teenage boy trying to navigate through all of his hormones. ;)_

 _ **I'd love to hear your thoughts!**_

 _ **With this story, from time to time, I will offer a different POV taken from a moment within the chapters, as a thank you for your thoughts via a review.**_

 _ ***For this chapter, my thank you will come with an outtake from Jasper's POV, while he's with Edward at the bottom of the treehouse.***_


	3. Out of Reach

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** _Some quick housekeeping; You'll notice a change in my writing style with this update. Under the guidance of my newest awesome beta, she's helped me realize that NGES would be better told written in the present tense, rather than past tense. I was nervous about this at first since it's not what I'm used to as a writer, but now that I've found Bella's voice… I am in LOVE with the change and I hope you will be too. Chapter 1 is in the process of being cleaned up and switched over, but from here on out it should be smooth reading. Many, many, many thanks to, Mariahajile_ _! I am so excited to be working with her as my new beta for this story. Also, a huge thank you to BPlemons who not only pre-read this chapter for me once but twice in two different tenses, haha, and much love to myonlyheroin for her continued support and notes!_

 _More news down at the bottom, but let's get to the chapter first._

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **Out of Reach**

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

At lunch, I opt to wear Jasper's black hoodie.

After hearing me fight with our parents over having to come outside at all, he knows better than to give me a hard time about borrowing his stuff without asking.

I also choose to keep my sunglasses on while Paramore's "All I Wanted" blasts on a loop in my ears, an outdated copy of _Rolling Stone_ positioned directly in front of my face.

Irina tried to strike up a worthwhile conversation with me earlier when she brought over a plate of freshly cut veggies with her mom's famous homemade dip, but in the end, that didn't work out very well for her.

Not with my horrid mood.

Which is good, because I'm not looking for company.

Hence the hoodie, sunglasses, and headphones.

After popping a slice of cucumber into my mouth, I look over and see Jasper sitting with Alice on the big hammock swing in front of the Cullens' house.

The sight of them causes me to smirk, but it's short-lived.

I don't want anyone to actually see me looking joyful over someone else's budding summer romance.

 _Jerks._

"Not hungry?"

Regardless of all of my passive-aggressive "Do Not Disturb" signs, Ben decides to join me.

He's wearing a shirt.

That's good, because I can focus now _._

"How was the tiny island? Did you have fun?"

He smiles and shrugs, then moves in a little closer beside me. "It would've been more fun if you'd come along."

I look at him through my dark-tinted sunglasses and raise my right brow, a coy smile of my own making its way across my face.

Is Benjamin Tori actually flirting with me?

 _Impossible._

"Maybe tomorrow," I softly reply as soon as I glance back down at the magazine I've been pretending to read.

"Tomorrow's your birthday. Don't you and Edward usually disappear for the day and do your super-secret adventuring until the big family pow-wow down on the beach with cake and gifts?"

I look around to locate where the topic of our conversation is and find him talking with Ben's sisters and dad over by the firepit.

Since coming outside twenty minutes ago, Edward's barely looked my way.

I've noticed this.

It's been bothering me.

A lot.

I'm pretty sure Ben noticed too, which is why he's sitting with me, grinning from ear to ear, trying to figure out what the hell's going on, because this right here? With Edward and me? This isn't normal.

Nope.

None of it.

"We'll see what happens," I finally answer back, doing my best to appear bored over the possibility..

Ben doesn't move, though.

I really wish he would.

"Anything else?" I calmly ask, peering at him from over the tops of my sunglasses after I've let the frames slide down the bridge of my nose.

He shrugs indifferently, then finally takes my cue and stands up to leave.

As he walks away, I find myself feeling abundantly thankful for the dark-tinted lenses currently shielding my eyes and where they've decided to focus.

My sunglasses have allowed me the opportunity to watch him go without making it too obvious I'm watching.

His muscles really are nice to look at.

They absolutely deserve to be appreciated.

I mean, it's the least I can do since his audience will be pretty small for the next six weeks while we're here on the island.

That's when I notice my mother waving her arms in the air like a rabid lunatic from across the yard. "Bella, honey, please come be social for, like, five minutes!"

Again, I'm thankful for the dark-tinted lenses. I can roll my eyes without actually pissing off my mother in the process.

I let out a low huff, stand up, and brush my legs off before dropping the hood of my jacket down to the back of my shoulders.

My feet carry me over the pebbled walkway toward the "adult table" where all the grownups have taken their usual assigned seats.

There are mounds of cold cuts and various types of breads, cheeses, and condiments all spread out in front of them. There are also several opened bottles of wine that are at least half empty; all of their glasses are in need of refills.

Mr. Cullen's asking me questions before I even sit down. "How was your freshman year, Bella? Taking anything good next year?"

I force a smile and politely nod my head.

"Bella's taking Honors English, AP Chemistry, and Trig next year. Never thought any kid of mine would naturally excel in math, but she's been beating the odds since birth!" Dad boasts, squeezing the top of my shoulder.

I cringe under his touch, but I somehow manage to force another fake smile by pressing my lips together and willing the impossible possible.

"Very good! That's excellent, Bella! Edward's actually decided he wants to give public school a try next year."

Charlotte must attend public school.

Why else would he leave one of the best private schools in Chicago his sophomore year?

It's interesting to me that Carlisle and Esme would let their son make such a drastic decision at this point in his life... and all because of some _stupid_ girl he didn't even know two months ago.

My parents would never give us that kind of freedom, let alone that kind of personal choice.

At least not when we're in Nevada.

They don't even let us have cell phones, and our internet time is limited to twenty minutes a day during the week and only an hour on the weekends.

We won't talk about the way they check our internet history, as if it's the Weather Channel, each and every night before they go to bed.

Yup. Lots of rules and limits always wait for us back in Vegas.

Otherwise, my parents fear I'll grow up to be a topless showgirl on the main strip in Sin City.

And my brother?

He will, of course, wind up working a craps table at some rundown casino _off_ the main strip.

"Did you join any clubs last year? Your mom was just telling us about how well you did at Nationals," Esme comments, smiling over at me with her wine glass practically empty.

I shrug again and begin to open my mouth to speak, but Mom answers for me.

"She'll be doing debate again next year."

"And gymnastics too, of course?" Mrs. Tori further questions, joining in on the conversation.

I don't even bother opening my mouth this time.

"Well, Bella's actually expressed a desire to take a break from training and competing for a year. We're giving her some time off so she can focus more on her studies, since she'll be taking on such challenging courses in the fall."

 _How very kind of them_.

Little do they know that the reason I expressed this desire was primarily because of a new coach at the gym who'd begun to express his own desires whenever we found ourselves alone, with no one else watching.

The kind of desires that had started to make me question some of those more challenging life choices my dad's always warning us about it.

 _Or maybe they do know?_

Maybe that's why they didn't fight me about it when I told them I wanted to quit after spending a week away at gymnastics camp with said coach over spring break.

Who actually knows anything anymore?

We never talk about anything of importance.

Sometimes I feel like I know Mr. and Mrs. Cullen and the Toris better than I know my own parents.

Regardless, I won't be returning to competitive gymnastics in the fall, no matter what bribe they use on me once we return home.

"Well, debate is fun!"

 _Yes._

 _Loads._

 _So. Much. Effing. Fun._

As soon as I finished making a sandwich, I force one last smile and then excuse myself from their table as they continue talking about all of my plans for the next year without me having to sit there and smile like a puppet without strings.

The walk down to the dock from the picnic tables by the firepit doesn't take very long. If I turn around, I'll be able to see everyone still sitting under the shade as they enjoy their lunch, talking about bullshit and the lives we all left behind on the mainland.

That's how we always spend our first day here—catching up and pretending to care.

After removing my hoodie and taking a seat at the edge of the dock, I toss half my sandwich into the water below my dangling feet and watch the fish eat my lunch.

The sun's hot, but it feels good on my face and skin.

I close my eyes and lean back on my hands, letting out a frustrated sigh up toward the cloudless blue sky that's mocking me with its sunshine and happiness.

Day one for firsts, and this is officially the first worst summer of my entire life.

A few seconds later, I see the smaller dinghy boat suddenly coming in, and I realize it's Emmett, Edward and Alice's older brother.

Emmett and Ben are actually best friends.

They even spend spring and winter breaks together sometimes on the mainland back in their real worlds.

 _Why didn't Ben ask Emmett to go with him to the tiny island?_

This is definitely peculiar.

I assumed Emmett hadn't arrived yet since that wouldn't have been unusual for him. He stayed back the first two weeks of the last two summers doing community service hours for school.

"Hey hey, Little Swan!"

I give Emmett a small wave and catch the rope he tosses my way to secure the boat to the side of the deck.

"Why didn't you go out with Ben this morning?"

Emmett smiles and hugs me tightly. "It's nice to see you too, Bella. My senior year was great! How was your first taste of high school?"

I smirk at his sarcastic tone and hug him back, mumbling a quick "sorry" under my breath. "It's nice to see you," I admit.

"Bet you're even happier to see me than my brother for once! Add that to your list of firsts for the summer, would you?"

He's laughing.

I'm glaring.

"Sorry. Too soon?"

I don't say anything because there's nothing to say that wouldn't trigger even more relentless teasing from him.

"For what it's worth, Charlotte's got nothing on you. She's a total Betty _."_

Now I'm able to smile a little.

"Give it a week or two. My brother will come to his senses. The stars above won't keep the two of you apart. They'll never allow it. You'll see." Emmett winks at me, and I roll my eyes, shoving him lightly.

"Stars are for hopeless romantics, nerd."

"That they are, Little Swan, and you've been like that since second grade. When Edward kissed you on your cheek and gave you that heart-shaped shell after Ben and I dared him to."

Only Emmett and Ben call me Little Swan.

I don't think I'll ever let anyone else do the same.

At least not without that person receiving my knee to their groin.

"Seriously. Chin up, buttercup. We have six weeks. Rule number one of three here on Prima is we don't bring the mainland drama here with us. Edward will abide or suffer the consequences."

Emmett's referring to the rocks on the west side of the island.

There's a jump-off point, about twenty feet high, we have to leap from whenever one of us breaks any of the three rules.

We actually carved those three simple rules right into one of the main walls of our treehouse.

* * *

 **Rule #1** _on Prima Island_

 _No mainland rules or drama allowed._

 **Rule #2** _on Prima Island_

 _Experience one first every day._

 **Rule #3** _on Prima Island_

 _Never nark._

* * *

These rules were engraved when Edward, Heidi and I were ten; Emmett was thirteen at the time, Ben twelve, and Rose eleven.

Jasper, Irina, and Alice carved their names under the list when they turned ten three years ago.

Back then, our rules against rules had seemed innocent but still extreme enough to be exciting and full of opportunity for wanderlust adventure and mayhem when we'd roam the island together without any chaperones.

The older we got, though, the less innocent our daily firsts became, and with every year that passed, we became more and more adventurous.

Never nark is Irina's weakness.

She had to jump from the cliffs twelves times last summer.

Alice jumped six times.

Jasper jumped twice.

Rose only jumped once after Emmett and Ben had taken the dinghy boat out past the tiny island, which is our boundary zone on the water.

She'd called dibs on it the night prior to sunbathe in, and when they'd taken it before she'd gotten up, she wasn't happy.

"Where's Rose?"

I haven't seen her all day but haven't gotten the chance to ask anyone yet.

I'm also desperate to change the subject.

"She'll be here in two weeks, maybe three. She wanted to get in some service hours before it gets too hot back home."

"Wow. Your parents let her stay back in Chi-town all by herself without you?"

Emmett laughs and shakes his head several times after reaching down to take the other half of my sandwich in his hand. I watch him bring it up to his mouth for a bite, then smirk at the sight of mustard on his bottom lip.

"She's staying with our aunt and uncle," he finally shares, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

I nod, accepting this news, and then we stand there in silence after that.

This, of course, makes me shift my weight anxiously from side to side over the wooden planks beneath our bare feet.

The boards creak below us, and my eyes look down toward our toes just as Emmett lets out a low grumble.

"We had a fight."

I'm confused. "Who? You and Rose?"

"No. Me and Ben."

 _Oh, right._

I'd asked him about Ben before.

"Over what?"

"A girl."

"Always," I quip, then jab at his shoulder.

Emmett shows me his best smile, but I can tell it's fake. This bothers me.

"Someone special?"

He's eighteen now and about to go off to college. He's of age to have someone special, worth breaking some of our rules by bringing some mainland drama here with him.

"No. It was an impulsive spring-break thing. Stupid. Never should've happened. Won't happen again."

He looks away from me, out toward the water, then lets out an exasperated sigh, which is extremely out of character for him. "I really messed up. Life's a lot easier at fifteen, Little Swan. Enjoy it while you can, because it only gets harder with every choice you make—even the choices that seem stupid and easy at the time. They always come back to bite you in the ass."

He sounds like my father. This also bothers me.

I can tell whatever happened has really done a number on his self-worth. It's not at all like him to seem so melancholy.

I want to make him smile again.

Actually, I need to make him smile again.

Emmett isn't supposed to look sad; it goes against the grain.

He's our good-humored, light-hearted boisterous leader who can find the positive in almost any and all situations.

"Chin up, buttercup. Give Benji a week or two. He'll come to his senses, or he'll be forced to suffer the consequences."

Emmett laughs at the returned advice I've thrown his way, then carelessly rubs at the back of his neck.

I can tell he's already sunburned, and I watch him grimace when he realizes it.

"Right you are! The stars shall align, young Swan! Come on. Let's go be sociable, well-behaved offspring of our parental units and make them proud. Tonight, we party in our fortress by the sea and start the summer off right. Wait until you see all the contraband I've smuggled in. I plan on being a terrible influence this summer."

I can definitely live with these plans of his, so I nod my head without saying anything else and link my arm through his to walk us back up toward the fire pit, where everyone else is still sitting, eating, drinking, talking, and laughing together.

I put on my own game face and focus on the things I _can_ control, like what color Alice and I should paint our toenails down by the beach and which kind of beer I'll sneak out of the fridge tonight for our summer kick-off in the woods.

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

Later that evening, after we've all had dinner with our families in our separate homes, members of the "younglings" group meet up at the line of trees behind the Tori house, flashlights in one hand and bags of snacks and drinks in the other.

This has become another one of our traditions, the first night of every summer.

All nine of us, when Rose is here, meet up in the dark and walk to the treehouse to share junk food, ghost stories, and usually a couple of beers we steal from our parents.

This year, much to my surprise, Ben's brought a couple of tiny bottles of liquor with him—the kind you find in minibars at a nice hotel or when you fly first class.

After the day I've had, my interest is instantly peaked the moment I observe the little bottles sitting at the top of his bag.

Beer's never been a favorite of mine. It's too bitter and always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I've recently found a liking toward vodka, though... at gymnastics camp… thanks to my former coach.

He'd explained to me it has the least amount of calories, _especially_ if I drink it straight without a mixer.

"Let's get moving before the rain starts," Edward suddenly suggests after a random gust of wind blows through the tall trees around us, sending a shiver down my spine.

You can smell it in the air.

The rain.

It's definitely coming, and for some reason, that always excites me.

Without saying anything else, Edward begins leading the way into the woods while his brother and I stay beside Jasper and Alice and bring up the rear.

Alice is quick to link her arm through mine and lean in. "Everything okay, Bells? You've been pretty quiet all day."

"Yup. Peachy."

I really don't want to talk about _any_ of it with her.

I've learned that Alice can have a loose tongue when it comes to off-the-cuff comments involving her brother.

Besides, all l I need is a day or two, and then I'll be over it and ready to move on.

It's decided.

I will not let this ruin my summer.

 _You get what you get, and you don't complain._

Those are my mother's words, and we hear them often.

So much so I literally hear them in my head constantly, even when I don't want to and the woman is nowhere to be found.

Not to mention, Jasper's already informed me Alice told him all about what Edward's been up to in Chicago with his new girlfriend.

Ergo, Alice actually knows a hell of a lot more than I do. She doesn't need to ask me if everything is okay because she knows everything is _not_ okay.

I will be, though, and that's what I need to focus on right now.

With a skip in my step, I increase my speed to help hide the frustration that's taken control of my face. I make it a point to leave enough space so I won't be walking side by side with Heidi and Irina, though.

Personal space is very much needed.

I need all of my personal space right now.

Being this close to him again and feeling all the invisible but profound space he's so obviously put between us, room to breathe and decompress are absolute musts.

They need to respect that, or tonight won't be fun for anyone.

Except for maybe Heidi. She'll likely end up having a blast and writing all about it in her diary.

Truthfully, if Jasper hadn't dragged me off the couch and out the front door by my arms, I probably wouldn't even be out here.

My eyes scan the dirt and rocks as they pass us by under the bright beams of our flashlights, and my ears can hear the crickets and waves far off in the distance between the thumping of our heavy footsteps.

We're not a quiet bunch. That's for sure.

High tide should be rolling in again right about now, and with it, the rain will follow.

Soon, the moon will be right above our heads, and we won't even need our flashlights to show us the way once it's time to head back to our houses.

"I saw a fox down by the little beach today," Irina impulsively shares with the group.

The silence must be getting to her too; another reason why Ri and I get along so well.

"No, you didn't. There are no animals here, only us," Heidi snaps back with a flippant laugh.

"Who says we can't be the animals?" Ben smugly questions without missing a beat before letting out a low growl from deep within his throat.

He looks further back at me, and when our eyes meet, he smirks and winks.

I almost smile back.

 _Almost_.

As soon as I look straight ahead again, I notice Edward's fallen behind and is staring directly at me. He clearly noticed my silent exchange with Ben.

The boy who broke my heart is now glaring in my direction, and with his glare, I'm able to find my truest of smiles.

Seconds after we've made it to the clearing, just before the treehouse, the sky opens up and the rain begins to pour all around us. We take off yelling and running as if we're being chased, then take turns climbing the two ladders up toward the main room of our fortress in order to make our perfect circle.

"It's a good thing I brought that tarp up earlier!"

The rain starts to fall obscenely hard at this point, so we're huddling tightly together. Our bags of stuff are in the center, and our flashlights are pointing up toward the ceiling.

"Jesus, I don't think there will be enough room for all of us to sit in here next year."

Emmett has a valid point.

We've all done a lot of growing up since last summer, and space is most definitely starting to become more and more limited.

Now I'm feeling even more depressed.

"You'll be busy at college anyways," Heidi quickly points out, all the while looking fondly at the high-school graduate she'll never have.

Heidi doesn't actually care which Cullen with a penis gives her attention, just so long as one of them does.

Emmett nods his head, realizing she's probably right, and then pushes her foot with his own from across the circle. "Maybe, but I'll still find a way to get out here for at least a week or two. Summer won't feel the same otherwise."

It's sad to think about all of us growing up and being one less with the next couple of summers that come and go.

I don't want these thoughts in my head. I have enough depression paying rent in my woe-is-me brain.

"Ben, toss me that little bottle of Grey Goose."

Ben looks at me with wide eyes and then glances over at Emmett, our fearless leader, for the approval he needs in order to defile my youthful innocence.

When I realize it's the first time I've witnessed Ben actually acknowledge Emmett all day long, I can't help but smirk to myself.

I've done that for them.

My poking to push the limits brings them back together again.

This gives me something to drink to.

"Serve the girl, Benjamin. It's her birthday tomorrow!"

I nod my head to silently thank Edward's older brother, then extended my hand out in front of me to catch the small clear bottle Ben tosses my way.

Jasper's glaring.

Edward looks more than a little bothered himself.

 _Everyone with their angry faces tonight._

I'm supposed to be the one sulking and with good reason.

It's _my_ soulmate who found someone else to love for the summer, not theirs.

I quickly untwist the cap and bring the tiny bottle up to my open mouth.

All the girls are watching me as if I'm about to swallow poison that might kill me on the spot.

Apparently, three to four beers shared between the eight of us is an angel's walk down Peppermint Lane, but this right here, in their eyes, is me taking purposeful steps right toward the fiery gates of Hell.

"To firsts!" I count down from three in my head, then take the bottle's contents down into my belly in one swift gulp, swallowing hard and wiping my mouth with the back of my freed hand.

"Nope! You've clearly done that before, Little Swan. Nothing first about what you just did right there!" Emmett booms with a loud and slightly nervous laugh. I return the cap back onto the empty bottle and toss it at his head but say nothing in response.

"You didn't even need a chaser! What has high school done to you, woman?" Ben questions, sounding more than just a little bit impressed, grinning my way and shaking his head in slight disbelief.

When I glance over at Edward again, I find him staring at his hands, which are now folded in his lap and clasped tightly together, his knuckles white.

He's also sitting beside Heidi.

It's impossible to not notice the way her shoulder is pressing into his, even though they have more than enough space for her to not be practically in his lap.

The rain's starting to let up.

This is good.

I'm not going to last much longer if I have to witness them and her smirking about "them" every time I look over.

The boys quickly start up a conversation about a couple of new movies they've seen, which leads into a heated debate over the latest Marvel film I know nothing about.

 _Boring._

Ben must notice my boredom because he pops open two beer bottles. He then passes them around the circle, starting first with me.

Edward passes on all of his turns.

That doesn't surprise me.

Charlotte, after all, has changed him.

"I've actually got some news to share about college." The smirk on Emmett's face is all I need.

"Emmett?! Oh, my God! You got into Dartmouth?!" I leap up from the floor to attack him with a hug that sends him backwards with a laugh.

"Yup, I got into Dartmouth." He proudly smirks and hugs me back, then sits us both upright again so he can hug everyone else.

Edward's brother has been talking about going to Dartmouth since we were little kids, so I know how much this means to him.

We all do.

"Wow! So you really will be able to come out here next summer. You won't be far at all," Heidi exclaims after giving him an extended kiss on his cheek.

She'll take any opportunity to touch the boy.

"Nope! It's only, like, a two-hour drive from campus. I'm pretty stoked!"

"That's great, Em. I'm honestly really so happy for you! I know Dartmouth's all you've ever wanted," I add while still smiling fondly at him.

Edward doesn't look thrilled about his brother's news.

I know it's going to be hard on him. As much as neither wants to admit it, the two of them are actually pretty close for being three years apart.

"All right. Now that we got that out of the way, who's ready to say hi to Mabel?"

Mabel is the island's ghost.

We met her three summers ago over in house number four that no one ever stays in, and to this day, Irina still walks home crying on her sister's shoulder whenever she gets conjured up by one of the boys.

I can feel Edward's eyes on me again, but I refuse to look his way this time.

Regardless of everything else, it's still really bothering me he's actually planning on switching schools. He loves his school and friends. He's been going there since kindergarten. It just seems absolutely ridiculous to me he'd leave all of that behind for some stupid girl he barely even knows.

 _Maybe he does know her._

 _Maybe he knows her very well... in ways you've only fantasized yourself._

 _Maybe he isn't even a virgin anymore._

 _You know nothing, Bella Swan._

After realizing I'm biting my fingernails and on my way toward an anxiety attack, I push myself up and act as if I suddenly have somewhere else to be.

"I, um, _really_ have to use the bathroom."

Edward's standing beside me before I've even finished my sentence. "I'll walk back with you."

This surprises me.

It also terrifies me.

I look over at Emmett and find him grinning in my direction.

Of course, I know what he's thinking, but I'm doing my best to disguise my change in mood... until I look down at Heidi.

She's thoroughly annoyed by Edward's chivalrous offer and also teetering on the edge of a complete and total tantrum over it.

My smile breaks free, and Edward extends his arm out, gesturing for me to go first. "We'll be back in fifteen minutes."

No one dares to say anything in response.

With the way the afternoon's gone, they're all just holding their breath and hoping for the best—whatever that best might be, just as long as things start to feel normal again.

I offer a quick wave and share a nervous look with my brother, then walk myself toward the first ladder that will lead us back down.

Yeah, I'm definitely feeling that tiny bottle of booze and couple sips of beer now that I'm standing up on my own two feet again.

Once we're on solid ground, Edward turns his flashlight on, and we begin walking in silence as sprinkles of rain fall lightly around us.

The rain doesn't quicken our pace.

Nope. Edward's taking his sweet-ass time leading us through the trees back to the houses.

With the moon now high above us, we carefully cross over some thicker tree branches that have fallen to the ground, and I hear a bird suddenly caw from the branches above us.

The sound causes me to jump, and that's when he takes my hand in his.

I look down between us but remain quiet as we keep moving.

"When did you start drinking hard liquor?"

"When did you stop returning my emails?" I tease, not letting go of his hand.

He doesn't realize I'm teasing.

After mumbling something under his breath, he releases me from his grasp, stopping to glare in my direction.

"I'm joking! Jesus. You sure do think highly of yourself, don't you, Edward Cullen?"

Truth be told, I might've snuck a gulp or two from my parents' liquor cabinet over the last couple of months, but he doesn't need to know about any of that.

Besides, not all of my teenage woes stem solely from him.

I was, after all, groomed and coddled by my former gymnastics coach for the last six months of my life.

"I'm not some lush. Relax. I don't even feel buzzed," I lie.

Just as my last word leaves my lips, I trip over something and start to stumble to the ground.

Edward instantly reaches out and pulls at my arm to steady me, letting out a taunting sigh.

We stand there, me in his arms and my eyes looking up into his with obvious embarrassment, and he smiles. "You were saying?"

"Shut up. It was a stupid rock or something. I'm fine."

"Forget the booze. You're not fine. _We're_ not fine, and it's my fault. You ran off before we even got to talk. That wasn't fair, Bella."

I glance up at him again, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms defensively.

"Don't you dare talk to me about what's fair! You just dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't heard from you!"

He stops me by placing his index finger over my lips, but I continue to glare.

"I hurt you. You're mad at me, and I absolutely deserve that, but you can't keep ignoring me now that we're here. I won't let you. It'll drive me crazy."

My vision blurs, and I begin to instantly feel my emotions get the better of me.

When I still don't say anything, he takes in a deep breath. I see his eyes soften as he looks down into mine. "I won't be able to stay away from you... I was stupid to think I could. All it took was me seeing you run by my house this morning. We only get six weeks out of the year. I don't want to spend another day of it _not_ holding your hand."

He's saying all of this as if it's my fault he's chosen to get a girlfriend two months before our summer together.

"We're allowed to have a life off of this island. We agreed to that last summer when we said goodbye. You're just not supposed to bring that life here." I snicker and look away from him. I don't want him to see the tears forming in my eyes. "It was unrealistic, all of our promises. I never should've expected you to drop everything in Chicago for six lousy weeks here with me. You made your choice. I get that. I'm accepting it. I hope you and Charlotte will be very happy together at her _public_ school."

He reaches up to brush the side of my face with the back of his hand, and I feel my knees beginning to shake under his touch.

My hair's pretty wet at this point, and I can only imagine what I must look like.

A drowning rat is actually the first image that comes to mind.

He reaches up to tuck some of my loose strands back behind my ears, and I watch his smile grow. "You look beautiful, especially in the rain."

"Stop," I warn.

He's in my head.

I hate it when he does that.

He responds to my demand by turning off his flashlight. We stand there in the darkness because he knows it helps.

"Better?"

"It's a start."

It usually annoys me when people ask questions they already know the answers to.

When Edward does it, I almost always find it painfully adorable.

"Can I kiss you?"

"What?!" His question seems so random, so absurd, and I have to laugh.

He doesn't seem amused when I look up into his soul-searching eyes.

"No, Edward! What would Charlotte say?" I firmly challenge after I realize he's being serious.

"This is our kingdom. The mainland doesn't matter here. It's not supposed to. We decided that last year when you had Mike waiting for you back in Vegas. What has to make this summer any different, Bella?"

 _So typical._

I've heard these lines before.

 _This is trouble._

 _He's asking for trouble._

 _Don't be that girl, Bella._

 _Don't._

I frown and sigh frustratedly, then reach up to delicately trace his bottom lip.

His smile is so perfect.

So soft.

So sweet.

I want to kiss him badly.

His mouth was made for mine.

I announced that to the sky as an official fact last summer, and he agreed with me as he laughed hard against my lips that night.

"I broke up with my boyfriend before we left because the guilt was awful when I went home last year, Edward. I imagine it's a lot worse when you actually like the person you're dating," I warn, mentally kicking myself for it.

"I'll live. I'm not so sure I'll be able to say the same, though, if my lips don't get to kiss yours this summer."

 _Stupid Charlotte._

I can't help but wonder if she even knows about me.

"She knows about you," he says, reading my mind. "She's seen your photos all around my house."

"Seriously. Stop it, Cullen."

He tries to hide his smirk and shrugs. "You make it easy. I'm being honest, though. She does know about you. She even told me this would happen."

His calm smugness is weakening my defenses, and I can feel myself turning into putty as I remain in his arms, exactly where I should but shouldn't be.

"And I'm sure you probably promised her it _wouldn't_ happen," I nervously quip. I bite down hard on my bottom lip to keep myself from saying anything else.

This is what I've been waiting for since the moment our plane landed late last night.

A chance to feel his mouth against mine and for him to hold me in his arms and keep me steady on solid ground while the world around us slowly disappears.

For the last three months, all I've daydreamed about was our first kiss of the summer and everything it might lead to once we're alone and breathing the same air.

We're alone now.

We're breathing the same air.

Unfortunately, there's this stupid voice in the back of my head reminding me of the promise I made to myself after I felt like absolute garbage for the way I treated Mike last summer.

That being said, I came here single this year, so why should I care about some other girl's feelings? I had him first, and he would always belong with me.

 _Because he's not yours anymore._

 _He's someone else's._

 _He doesn't belong to you._

 _That's why._

"No. You can't kiss me, Edward."

He looks devastated, and I feel numb.

"You really have no idea… It sucked so much going home last year and seeing Mike's face. I won't let you make the same mistake I made. Knowing he'd waited for me but I'd spent the last four weeks here with you and acting as if he didn't even exist... I never told you any of this because I didn't want you to feel guilty, but it really messed with my head for a long time."

"I didn't realize you considered last summer a mistake."

The hurt in his eyes is palpable.

He misunderstands me.

"We weren't a mistake, but the way I handled it was. I made a choice, and you did the same. Choices have consequences. That's what my dad says, at least."

"Your dad is a college philosophy professor."

"And? He's not wrong," I firmly insist.

"Fine. I'll accept any and all consequences. You're worth it. All of them."

 _No_.

 _For the sake of your own mental health._

 _Say no!_

"I'm sorry. I won't be that girl. Not again. You made your choice. I've made mine. We can go back to the way things were before... I just really wish you would've told me before we came here. I would've had time to process it all."

… _And also not broken up with Jacob Black._

"I know. You're right. Every day, I told myself I would call you. I didn't want it to be done in an email. Emmett said I had to do it with a phone call, and every day that passed, it got harder and harder."

"Well, at least one of you understands basic common courtesy when it comes to breaking a girl's heart."

He increases his grasp around me and shakes his head. "I never wanted to hurt you. That's why I put it off. I wasn't even sure it would last."

"But it did," I whisper after closing my eyes to avoid his broken stare and prevent my tears from falling.

"You just need to know that I never went looking. It just kind of happened."

I force myself to nod my head, take a deep breath, and then slowly let it all out with a quiver.

"I know you didn't. That's how love usually works. It just kind of happens. I'm okay. We'll be okay. It's not the end."

With a heavy sigh, he looks down at the watch on his wrist and then shifts his weight from side to side.

"It's after midnight."

He's changing the subject.

"Happy fifteenth birthday, Edward Cullen."

"Happy fifteenth birthday, Bella Swan."

I give him a soft kiss on his cheek, and he looks happy.

So happy.

This is us.

This is who we have to be for now.

I'm okay with that.

"Fifteen years I've known you," he whispers after hugging me tightly against him.

I smile and nod my head. " _Fifteen summers filled with wanderlust adventure and self-discovery!_ "

I said that in my father's voice.

"Can we at least hold hands?"

I think this over for a few seconds and then nod again. "Only when we're alone. I don't need Jasper's silent judgment getting any louder in my head."

There's no harm in holding hands.

We've literally been doing that ever since we learned to walk together.

"I can live with that."

It's good he thinks he can live with that because I'm not completely sold yet. I'm going to try and hope for the best.

 _Our_ best.

"I just don't want you to hate me."

"Don't be so dramatic. I could never hate you, dork, even if I wanted to. It is what it is. We don't complain. Plus, I've never been an angry drunk," I lightly tease.

I feel him rest his chin on top of my head after sneaking a kiss on my hair. "You really need to stop hanging out with your mom and dad so much."

He's saying that to annoy me.

For some reason, it makes me miss the old us even more.

I'm proud of myself, though. I held my ground and did the right thing.

This is good karma.

I'm okay.

We'll be okay.

I have to believe I'll eventually be rewarded. Maybe. Hopefully, that reward will come before our summer together is over.

All I need is for Edward to come to his senses first, and I'm more than willing to help him with that.

* * *

 **A/N:** _So, Edward wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Tisk tisk. You've got to remember, he's 15, so he's only thinking the way most 15-year-old boys would. Bella's determined to move on from this, but how easy will that be?_

 _The next chapter is with my beta. I actually have the next 3 pretty much done and ready for edits, so I'm hoping to update every 7-10 days. Especially since these guys won't stay out of my head and I've been writing like crazy for them._

 _If you're waiting for an Aliases & Avatars update it is coming! My beta for that story has it and I'm hoping to update by the weekend. _

_**ALSO**_ _,_ _Two Makes Five_ _was_ _nominated_ _to possibly be one of the top 10 completed fics for June over at_ _TwiFanfictionRecs_ _(.dot.) com. If you loved Care Bear and Stalker as much as I did please go leave a vote for them! You can find a link at the bottom of my FFn profile. ;)_

 *******Reviews make me smile!*******

 _**As thanks for making me smile I will share an outtake from Heidi's POV when everyone is sitting up in the tree house together.**_

 _Let's just say she's got a lot going on in her head._

 _;)_


	4. Walking On A Wire

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** I am eating, drinking, and sleeping with these characters taking over my head. Updates will come as quickly as possible, I promise! Many many MANY thanks to my amazing beta, Mariahajile. She cleaned this chapter up so beautifully for me and I'm learning so much from her as we go. All the hugs and kisses to my pre-readers, myonlyheroin, and BPlemons. I love those girls hard!

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Walking On A Wire**

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

It's almost 2:00 a.m. when the eight of us eventually separate at the fire pit to head inside our own homes.

Edward and I spent the rest of the evening sitting beside each other up in the treehouse, but we always kept an inch or two between us and barely spoke.

I keep telling myself it'll get easier.

It has to.

All I need is a little bit of time to get used to our newly established, well-regulated platonic _friendship_ and all of the boundaries that come with it. Once we find our rhythm, though, everything will be okay.

Unfortunately, the more time passes, the harder it seems to be getting. Not reaching out to take his hand in mine whenever I want, not leaning in to kiss his cheek or lips, not being able to just stare at him and smile...

Nobody's said anything, but I can tell they're all well aware of the awkwardness that's engulfed Edward and me.

Emmett continued to give me reassuring smiles all night, but they were always guarded, and I have a pretty good feeling why.

Pity.

After taking a quick shower, I come out of the bathroom to find my brother sprawled out on my bed with all of the lights on and my door wide open.

Thankfully, with the way the house is set up, Jasper and I pretty much have our own quarters upstairs to do whatever we want. Our parents rarely wait up for us anymore when we're here.

"Shouldn't you have tucked yourself into your _own_ bed by now to dream about Alice and her new boobs?" I tease, plopping down beside him.

"What happened with you and Edward? Things were different when you came back, but you're still not the same."

"He has a girlfriend. You know this. Nothing's changed. We talked. I've accepted the choice he's made, and he's accepted the choice I've made to not be a part of another dirty little secret with him."

"You mean like last summer?"

"I told Mike everything!" I snap back.

"And he tried to destroy your reputation right after! If Edward messes with your head again this summer. I will… I'll—"

This is not a conversation I want to have with my younger brother.

It's sweet and all that he feels the need to defend my honor, but I really don't need him to.

It's very important he understand this.

"You'll do nothing, Jasper. I'm fine. I'm also really tired and meeting Edward on the beach in, like, four hours. I need to get some sleep."

Jasper looks surprised.

Surprised seems to be a popular reaction for him these days.

"You two are still going out alone all day?"

"It's our birthday, isn't it?"

I'm determined to not make this a big deal.

"But all day? Alone?"

"Why are you asking me questions you already know the answers to? You know how much that annoys me. Yes! All day. Alone. That's our plan. Every year. Now let me sleep!" With my last word, I press my feet into his body and slowly begin to push him from my mattress.

He lets out an exaggerated sigh, drops his body to the floor, stands up, and looks me dead in the eyes. "Just... Please be careful."

"Always am, little brother."

We both know that's a total lie.

It's pointless to argue.

Seconds later, he shuts my door behind him.

I can breathe.

My room still smells like bug spray after the fumigators were here this afternoon. I walk over to my window and push it open to let in some fresh air, then quickly brush out my hair and crawl into bed after turning off the lights.

I actually love sleeping with my windows open when we're here.

You can hear the waves in the distance if you lie still long enough to listen for them.

After several minutes of forcing my eyes closed with zero progress, I begin counting sheep.

It doesn't take me very long to give up on that, too.

When I can take no more, I get out of bed, pull on some shorts, and climb out of my window with a pillow and blanket in my hands. Once on the ledge, I toss everything to the ground and climb down the trellis.

I find the grass with my bare feet and scoop everything back up to start my walk down to the beach.

I've been sneaking out of my room on the island since the day I turned twelve, but it's usually to meet up with Edward for some late-night, off-the-grid adventuring in the woods or down by the beach.

Tonight, I'll be all by myself.

Something about this actually feels liberating and even a little bit exciting.

I didn't even bother to grab my flashlight, and I don't have a plan.

There's just no way I could continue to lie in that bed with all of my thoughts running circles without driving myself crazy before the sun came up.

Within seconds, I decide to head down to the main dock.

Maybe lying in one of the boats while it rocks in the ocean will help put me to sleep.

With my blanket draped over my shoulders from behind my neck, I high step it through the sand and then walk down the wooden planks while playing a quick round of Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe in my head to choose which boat I'll set up camp in.

I step from the dock onto the smaller boat us "younglings" are allowed to take around the island, then drop my pillow onto the longer bench in the back and position myself across it before settling in with my blanket.

There isn't a single cloud in the sky, but there are thousands of stars up above to help keep me company.

I turn to look back toward the circle of houses.

All of the windows are dark.

The fire pit's embers are still burning red and orange.

Something else catches my eye... There's a small beam of light moving down the path toward me.

Almost like a ghost in the night.

 _Maybe it's Mabel._

I smirk at the possibility but quickly realize it's a human heading my way.

For a very brief moment, my heart ties itself into a knot, thinking it might be Edward.

Even after realizing it's not him, though, its rapid beating still doesn't settle.

This surprises me.

I sit myself all the way up and slowly smile at Ben as he tosses me a marshmallow from his hand.

"I brought you some hot chocolate too."

"It's, like, 3:00 a.m.! Why in the world are you even up making hot chocolate?"

"I couldn't sleep. I was in the kitchen when I saw you from the window. If you want to be alone, I'll understand."

Five minutes ago, I wanted to be alone, but seeing Ben with his hot chocolate and crooked grin have apparently changed all of that for me.

"Permission granted. Climb aboard, Benjamin Tori."

He nods, still smiling, and steps onto the boat, causing it to rock a little.

I watch him take a seat beside me, and he hands over the thermos he's brought with him.

When silence begins to take control, I quickly open my mouth to speak after swallowing down my first gulp of warm cocoa.

"So, things with you and Emmett are good again?"

Ben looks over at me with a perplexed look on his face. "He told you about our fight?"

"Yeah, sort of. Not the details. Just that you had one."

He doesn't say anything after that.

I can tell he's thinking hard about something.

It probably would've been better if I'd avoided the topic altogether, but my tongue works faster than my brain sometimes.

It's a flaw my mother is constantly bringing to my attention.

And by constantly, I mean daily; at least three to seven times before the sun goes down.

"Sorry. If you don't want to talk about it—"

"No, it's fine. We're good. Just so long as it doesn't happen again, things will stay good. It's his choice to make."

 _Jesus_.

Boys and their passive-aggressive, little-to-no-informative responses.

I refuse to ask for any further information.

Besides, the less I know, the better.

Especially since they've already declared a truce and moved on from whatever it was that caused their fight in the first place.

"You and Edward seemed better when you came back to the treehouse."

Now I'm the one avoiding _his_ eyes, and I'm also taking a long and extended second gulp from the thermos.

"Don't want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather not."

"Okay. That's probably better for me, anyway."

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

Based on the way Ben's currently looking at me, I'm pretty certain I know what he means, but it seems too surreal to actually be a real-life possibility.

"Alice kind of told Ri about everything. Sucks. I know you two kind of finally made things 'anti-official but official' last summer."

"Is that what we _kind_ of _finally_ did?"

I bite into my marshmallow, hoping it'll prevent me from opening my mouth again to tell him to mind his own damn business.

"Sorry. I'll mind my business."

 _Great_.

Now Benjamin Tori's in my head too... or am I just becoming silently loud with all of my private thoughts these days?

"It's better that way. Edward and I… We're complicated. Trying to explain it would only make me sound like a crazy person."

"What's not complicated in high school?"

"There's no school here," I snap back. "We're supposed to leave our complications on the mainland."

Ben laughs and leans into me to nudge my shoulder with his. "Ah, but what happens when complications find us here on the island? The kind that have nothing to do with the mainland and everything to do with us being here?"

I look over and find his blue eyes watching me with purpose.

I swallow hard.

"You've changed a lot, Little Swan. I knew you would. I actually thought about you more than once after we left here last summer."

This makes me feel bad, because I can't remember ever thinking about him after we returned home last summer.

Not even once.

I mean, he's Benjamin Tori, Irina and Heidi's older brother. He's the guy who used to pull my hair and steal my juice boxes when we were kids, only to spray us with them while we'd run around barefoot on the beach.

Hell, he was _still_ doing that last summer!

"That's, um, nice," I say, finally getting it past my lips, before carefully shifting my weight to slide further over on the bench.

I'm not at all prepared for this, least of all at 3:00 a.m. after the day I've already had _and_ while still being slightly buzzed on the little bit of alcohol I downed earlier.

I fake my best stretch and then let out a loud yawn from behind my open hand. "I think I'm actually ready for a real bed. The sun's going to be up in three hours, and I'm supposed to meet Edward here for our birthday adventure around the island."

"Oh… So I guess that means you won't be coming with me over to the tiny island."

I shake my head and quickly begin to gather my things.

"Thanks for the hot chocolate. I think it did the trick."

I hear him mumble something under his breath, but I don't ask him to repeat it.

"I'll walk you back, if that's okay."

My shoulders shrug, and he steps off the boat first, then offers his hand to help me over onto the dock.

Once my feet are on steady ground again, Ben doesn't let go.

My heart begins to speed up, and I can feel my cheeks instantly betray me.

We stand there inches apart, me with my blanket draped over my shoulders and him holding my pillow under his arm. Our eyes are steady and set on only each other.

I can literally hear my heart pounding in my ears.

It's beating so hard the sound of the waves rolling onto the shore have completely disappeared.

 _What is happening?!_

 _What is this?!_

 _Is it a dream?_

 _A nightmare?_

 _Both?_

"Okay. So... Walking now." I begin moving my feet and slowly loosen my grasp around his hand, which thankfully causes him to finally do the same.

Now I can breathe, and now I'm also stuffing my hands deep into my pockets.

"Do you know where you'll apply for college after next year?"

Conversation is very much needed here.

He coughs nervously into his hand then clears his throat. "Don't tell my parents or my sisters, but if I don't get recruited to play football for a college, I'm actually thinking about enlisting in the army."

"What?! Why in the world would you do that? That'll break your mother's heart, Benjamin Tori!"

"Yup. It likely will." He's smirking, which gives me my answer, but it also causes me to narrow my eyes.

Mrs. Tori doesn't seem so bad, but she does always nag on Ben a lot more than Ri or Heidi.

They definitely have a strained relationship. That being said, I never thought Ben would join the army just to spite her.

"Well, I hope you get recruited to an amazing college. As honorable as joining the military is, I don't want you going off to war."

"No?"

I look up at him and match his smirk. "No, nerd, I don't."

"Have you thought about what you might want to study in college?"

"Me?" I laugh. "Nope. I'm just a sophomore. My parents have me stacking up my transcripts, though. I might end up having a nervous breakdown with all the classes they're forcing me to take next year."

Ben smiles again and nods his head, understanding exactly what I'm talking about. "I'm sure you'll do fine. You're one of the smartest girls I've ever met."

I feel my cheeks turning red again, and I'm instantly grateful for the darkness that's surrounding us after I've turned to look away from him.

We reach the trellis on the side of my house and stand there in the dark, neither of us apparently knowing what to say or do next.

The silence is killing me.

I need to get away from him before I say something stupid, because right now, everything I have running through my head is utterly and completely stupid.

"Bella, look, I have to get this off my chest…"

When he pauses to find his next word, I suddenly stand up on my toes, place my hand at the back of his neck, and bring my lips toward his.

I'm not even sure what I'm thinking.

Or why I'm thinking it.

This is a terrible idea.

The worst idea I've had all year.

In the moment, though, it feels _perfect_.

He kisses me back, and my pillow drops from under his arm after he reaches out to grab hold of my hips.

His kiss is so different from Edward's.

It's tender... but not.

Slow... but purposely paced.

I've kissed more than a couple of boys since last summer—thanks to Mike Newton attempting to ruin my reputation around school, making all the boys interested—but none of them have ever kissed me like this before.

Not even Jacob.

When we eventually part, Ben's grinning like I've never seen.

I'm having a hard time hiding my own smile.

"I've wanted to do that since I saw you this morning. Kissing you had to be my first 'first' for the summer."

"Don't be ridiculous! I guess you forgot you were still dumping Kool-Aid in my hair last summer."

He looks hurt by my words. "And I guess your mom never told you that boys who tease you the most are usually the ones who like you the most. That's what I hear my mom telling Heidi all of the time, anyway. That's also why Emmett never ever teases her; he's heard my mom say it and doesn't want to give her any ideas."

I laugh at this bit of information and nod my head, but I say nothing since I'm still spinning from our kiss.

"You're actually a really good kisser for a sophomore."

"Yeah, well, Edward and I practiced a lot last summer, and then I got some more practice after my reputation turned into garbage when I returned home, thanks to my ex hearing all about what Edward and I did."

Ben seems to frown at the mention of my actual soulmate's name, but I don't care.

Reminders are needed.

This doesn't change anything between us.

It can't.

Kissing is just kissing when we're here.

It's another skill to perfect, just like tying knots and setting sails.

"I should get up to my room. I have two and a half hours now before sunrise. I'm going to be hating life tomorrow."

Ben smirks and nods, then puts his hands at my hips to help me up onto the trellis. As soon as I find my footing, I begin to climb my way toward the sky and then pull myself up and over onto the ledge to my open window.

When I reach the top, he tosses up my pillow and blanket to me.

"Thanks for a strangely memorable moment, Little Swan."

"Thanks for not making it too awkward afterward, Benji," I tease back, smiling.

"Happy birthday, Bella."

I smile again, then give him a short wave and head into my room through the window, closing it behind me.

Sleep is now begging for my attention.

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My eyes spring open at the sound of someone whispering my name. I jump up from my bed and find Edward smirking at me from my window.

"You overslept."

"Crap! I even set an alarm, too!" I glance over at my clock and see that it's almost 6:00 a.m. The sun's already starting to come up from behind Edward's shoulders.

"Technology—it's evil and not at all reliant. Come on. Get dressed. We missed the sunrise, but we can still catch the sunset over on the little beach later on."

I do as he says and walk over to my dresser. I pull out some shorts and one of my bathing suits and then step into my closet to quickly change.

This is our usual routine when he's around and I need to get naked.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Me? Um, to be honest, not too good. I'll be running on about two hours of it, I think. We might have to take a nap under a tree somewhere around lunch time," I joke, thinking back to the kiss I shared with Ben not even three hours ago.

I feel guilty.

 _Why do I feel guilty?_

I shouldn't feel guilty.

We're both single.

 _Crap. Is Ben single?_

I didn't even think to ask him.

 _Damn it, Bella._

"I think a nap can be arranged. I made us sandwiches, and my mom packed us some other stuff to hold us over until dinner tonight. Hurry up, though, would you?"

After increasing my speed, I grab my sneakers, put them on, and walk out of my closet to run toward the window.

In my haste, I almost lean down to kiss him, since that's what feels like the natural thing to do, but I stop myself just in time. His face falls after he realizes what almost happened.

"Move your butt, Cullen, so I can get through the window."

He follows my demand, and I watch him leap down from the trellis and take off toward the woods with his duffle bag over his shoulder.

Our parents won't worry about us.

They stopped doing that when we turned ten.

This is something Edward and I started doing together on our first double-digit birthday here.

We'd get lost for the day, then return back to the circle just before dinnertime to celebrate our birthdays with everyone down at the beach.

We walk side by side, not saying anything for the first couple of minutes. Then he takes my hand in his as soon as we pass through the thicker mass of trees.

He surprises me further when he lifts my hand to gently kiss the top of it before bringing it back down between us.

I press my own lips together and feel my heart beginning to quicken its pace.

Day two of this PG bullcrap, and I'm already about to lose my ever-loving mind.

"Where to first?"

I'm feeling abundantly grateful he's able to start a conversation, because words have become my own worst enemy.

"I— I, um... I— I haven't been to the rocks yet," I eventually stutter out after shifting our snorkel gear bag up onto my shoulder.

Edward nods and begins walking us that way while the thoughts of us and how badly I want to kiss him continue to attack me with every synchronized step we take.

He smells so good, like he took a shower before he came looking for me.

 _Jesus, I love the way he smells_.

There was a boy in my English class last year who used the same body spray Edward does. I purposely sat next to him almost every day just to be able to close my eyes and daydream about being back on our island.

As we walk, I keep catching Edward stealing nervous glances my way, but I never make it obvious I'm actually noticing.

 _All you need to do is find your rhythm, and then you'll be fine._

That's what today needs to be about the most: finding our new normal for the summer, since things are going to be so different between the two of us, at least for a little while.

"Do you think your parents got you anything good this year?

"For my birthday? Nope. I told them I didn't want anything. What about you?"

"I need a new phone, but that won't be useful until we get back home."

 _How original._

 _Probably so he can sext with his precious Charlotte._

More silence.

Now it's starting to get to me.

"Are you still a virgin?"

Edward nearly trips over his own two feet and then laughs when he looks back at me. "Yes, I am. What about you?"

I nod and manage to keep my face straight, but on the inside, I'm beaming.

"Charlotte and I haven't really done anything more than what you and I were doing back when we were twelve."

Now it's my turn to laugh.

Christ, do I feel so much better knowing this.

"So you really broke up with that guy you were dating? Completely?"

"Yeah. Completely. The day before we left."

This was one of the main reasons why I was so annoyed about Charlotte and the fact he couldn't have told me about her before I'd rearranged my own life in order to come here and be with him.

"Sorry about that."

"No worries. He'll take me back in a heartbeat once I'm home again," I nonchalantly share, hoping it might actually bother him a little.

"He'd be an absolute idiot not to."

 _Welp. That backfired, Swan._

"I do seem to attract a lot of those, so who knows?"

Edward laughs at my snarky response, then gives me a light shove from his hand. "I guess I'll jump the rocks first since I'm the one that actually broke a rule and you like to do it for fun."

He isn't lying.

I'm a former gymnast.

I do like jumping from the rocks.

Once we reach the clearing and set down our stuff, I take off my shorts and t-shirt and then turn around to catch Edward staring at me in my bathing suit.

"Eyeballs in your head, buddy."

He smirks, then shrugs his shoulders before pulling his own t-shirt up over his head to toss it beside my clothes.

Christ, I want to touch him.

So badly.

I want to feel his skin against mine, and I want him to hold me in his arms so he'll remember everything we'd been last summer.

"Change of plans. I'm jumping first." Those words leave my lips before I even prompted them to leave my tongue.

 _If I don't take off running now, there's no telling what I might allow to happen._

My legs carry me through the green grass toward the edge of the rocks, increasing my speed as I go, and then leap away from the edge to do a double pike and perfect my landing deep into the water with my toes pointed and my arms up beside my ears.

After resurfacing, Edward greets me with a round of applause from high above, then jumps in after me, landing about ten feet away from where I'm treading water.

"That was amazing! You've gotten crazy good, Bella!"

I force a smile and shrug in the warm water while we both float, facing one another with a little less than a foot of space between us in the calm waves.

Every once in a while, I feel his hands beneath the water moving past me.

Knowing he's right there causes me to hold my breath while I daydream about the way we'd been last summer, when we'd swim here all alone and his fingertips would find ways to touch my bare skin without making it too obvious.

"I quit."

"Quit what?"

"Gymnastics."

His eyes go wide with disbelief. "Why the hell would you do that? You could've gotten a scholarship for college! You're seriously good enough. You can't quit!"

"Why the hell are you transferring to a crummy public school when you could be getting the best education ever at Lake Forest? Colleges notice that too!" I shoot back, feeling annoyed he'd question my motives after what he's decided to do.

"I got kicked out."

Now it's my turn to look shocked as hell.

"When?! For what?!"

His parent's hadn't let on at all that Edward had gotten into trouble at his former school. They'd made it seem like switching schools had been a personal choice, not a necessity.

"I got caught cheating… more than once."

"How appropriate," I snicker on impulse, earning myself a massive splash of salty water directly to my face.

To escape his attack, I duck under, then swim a couple of feet away toward the shoreline before coming up for air again.

He's nowhere… and then I'm being pulled back under by my ankle.

We resurface, laughing, at the same time. "Running away is pointless. How have you not learned that yet?" he teases.

I splash him back, then roll my eyes. "Running away actually helped me out a lot this past year."

His smile falls, and his eyes narrow. "Seriously. Why'd you quit? You love competing."

He knows me well.

Too well.

"I didn't like my new coach."

"Why? You never mentioned that in any of your emails. You said he was really good."

I roll my eyes again and begin swimming away to get out of the water. He's right behind me, but I don't slow down. Once I'm on the sand, I run up to where our bags are and grab my towel.

Edward's still staring hard in my direction.

He's not about to let this go.

I can't remember a time where I've ever had to lie to him—like _really_ lie—so it looks like this, right here, will be my ordained first for the day.

"He wanted too much from me. Training five days a week from 3:00 until 8:00 at night while I'm taking a lot of AP and honors classes? I'm not Wonder Woman. I can't do it all. Plus, I'm ready for a break. I did good at nationals this year. It's always better to go out on top and be remembered for that."

When I look back over, he seems to be relieved.

This helps me relax.

Now we can move on, and I can attempt to forget again.

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

* * *

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Our day continues to be perfect, filled with memory-making moments and laughs I know I'll remember forever.

From snorkeling by the rocks to exploring the tide pools on the other side of the island, we're sticking to our routines, minus all of the making out.

"Where to next?"

"It's almost noon. Want to eat?"

I nod, then link my arm with his to start walking us toward our usual picnic spot by the tiny beach at the far end of the island.

"Maybe we'll see that fox Ri was talking about."

"She didn't see any fox. She probably saw her own shadow." Edward laughs, causing me to smirk. He's likely right. In all the years we've been coming here, the only wildlife we've ever seen are birds, snakes, and turtles.

After that, the silence sets back in, and he switches positions beside me to take my hand in his.

Again, he brings it up to his lips and kisses the top of it, but this time, I look him in the eyes and let out a sigh.

"Sorry. Should I not do that?"

"You should, but you technically shouldn't. That's the problem."

"I'll stop."

"I don't want you to stop."

He smirks and does it again.

Three more times, actually.

This causes me to laugh and lightly shake my head.

Day two, and we're already walking that line.

This is dangerous, but I don't care.

After eating our lunch, I'm feeling sleepy, so we lay out a blanket under a tree at the top of one of the taller hills by the tiny beach. I take the spot against the wide trunk to look out at the ocean.

"It feels smaller."

"The ocean?" Edward asks with a short laugh after positioning himself right beside me.

"Everything—the tree house, my room back at the circle, the dinghy boat."

Edward laughs again, then puts his arm around me to pull me up against him.

I don't fight it.

"I guess that's part of growing up."

"I don't want to grow up." I pout and nuzzle my head deeper against his chest when he begins to rub his hand up and down my bare arm. "I don't want any of us to. Everything's starting to change."

After going up to my room last night, I'd laid in bed thinking about Ben actually graduating and joining the army to become someone I wouldn't know anymore.

I thought about Emmett going off to college and only being here for a week or two next summer with Rose following him two years later.

Everything's going to start to _really_ change after this summer, and I hate thinking about it.

Most teenagers can't wait to grow up to get away from the life they've always known, but I'd be content with never getting older and forever living in my fairytale on Prima.

I cover my mouth and let out a soft yawn. Then, on impulse, I lean over and wrap my arm around Edward's body to further relax against him.

I don't want to waste our day sleeping here, under this tree, but my eyes are demanding I let them rest for at least a few minutes.

"If I fall asleep, please don't let me drool all over you, okay?"

"I promise to not catch all of your drool while you sleep, Bella."

I feel him kiss the top of my head, and seconds later, I'm out.

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Later that night, after our birthday BBQ with our families, all of us "younglings" take off into the woods to go up the treehouse. We need to get away from our parents. They were starting to act a little too tipsy for our own comfort.

Ben's been sending me looks most of the night, but we haven't gotten a chance to actually talk privately.

When we get to the treehouse, we're the last two people to climb the ladders.

I have a feeling something's coming because he's tugging on my shirt to hold me back so his sister can go before me.

As soon as we reach the middle level, he grabs my arm to keep me from following everyone else.

"Did you and Edward have a good time today?"

I raise my brow in his direction and bite down anxiously on my bottom lip while my eyes stare into his.

I nod and then swallow hard.

Ben's wearing a black tank top tonight.

He clearly worked on his tan today.

His smile is talking to me again, but I'm having a hard time hearing him over the pounding of my heart.

"Emmett and I saw you guys when we went over to the little beach to do some spearfishing."

"You should've said hi."

"You were sleeping. Edward waved."

"Oh."

This means Emmett and Ben saw me practically lying on top of Edward while we were under the tree.

I guess I should be thankful I passed out and behaved myself.

"I told you I was going to be hella tired today."

He smirks and nods his head, then reaches out to tuck some of my loose hair behind my ear.

I take an abrupt step backward and feel the wood railing press into my back, preventing me from moving any further away from him. "What are you doing? Someone might see you!"

"So what? Can we meet up tonight? I got you something for your birthday. Emmett and I went into town before dinner. I saw it, and it made me think of you."

Meeting up again at night alone seems like a _terrible_ idea.

"I, um... I don't know. I'm still really tired after running around all day with Edward."

 _Atta girl._

 _Mention Edward's name again._

 _Reminders are needed._

 _Someone else already owns your heart._

 _It's not for sale._

"I can just come up to you, at your window, to give it to you. The present, I mean."

I smirk over his unusual nervousness and slowly begin to nod my head, "Okay. Fine. Later. An hour after we all head inside."

His face lights up, and I instantly roll my eyes.

How is this boy—this almost man, someone I've known since I was eight but has always treated me as if I were some annoying kid—turning into someone who makes me want to hold my breath and smile on the inside where no one else can see it?

"You seriously have to stop looking at me like that," I warn, pushing myself past him to head toward the ladder.

"Why? Edward looks at you all of the time."

I turn around to glare at him, crossing my arms.

"That's different."

"Why? Because he knew you first, or because he kissed you first?"

Ben's teasing me, but I'm not in the mood.

Not with everyone probably wondering where we are and what had happened to cause Ben and I to fall so far behind.

"Can we please talk about this later?" I beg after glancing up the ladder.

"Okay. Later. It's a date."

"Jesus! It's _not_ a date!" I snap back, then instantly begin to climb in order to put some space between us.

When I get up to the next level, I'm relieved to find no one else around.

Apparently, they've all made their way into the main room without even waiting for us.

This is good.

I make the choice to not wait for Ben, hoping it might make things seem a little less suspicious, then round the corner in search of our friends.

After going into the main room, I see them digging through the bag of stuff Emmett brought with him while my brother sets up the flashlights for our ghost stories.

Edward smiles in my direction, then looks behind my shoulder where Ben's followed me inside.

Ben very purposely moves me out of his way by placing his hands at my hips to get through the doorway.

Seconds later, I feel my cheeks flush in taunting fashion.

I can see it in Edward's eyes.

He noticed the way I jumped under Ben's hands, but I do my best to play it off and walk over to take my seat beside him.

"Everything okay?"

"Huh? Yeah. My, um, sandal fell off, so Ben had to go back down to get it for me," I lie while avoiding his eyes.

 _Why are you lying to him again?_

 _That's two times today, Swan!_

 _You never lie to him._

 _There's nothing wrong with taking your time and talking with a friend outside._

 _That's all you needed to say._

 _Jesus._

 _Pull yourself together._

"I brought us this." He pulls a blanket up from his side and then swings it out in front of us. It drapes across our legs, and I lean back against the wall beside him.

"Now I can hold your hand without us getting any dirty looks from your brother."

I smile, and my heart ties itself into a brand-new knot.

My fingertips find his to take his hand in mine, and I squeeze it three times.

When I look up again, I see Ben watching us.

His face is straight, but his eyes are set on the blanket positioned over mine and Edward's legs.

Ben shakes his head and grabs a beer from the center of the circle. He pops it open to take several long gulps before setting it down rather hard beside his body.

This is drama.

I don't like drama.

But drama is what I've apparently decided to sign up for this summer.

I squeeze Edward's hand again and lean myself further against him before letting out a soft sigh.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" he firmly questions.

"Yeah. Absolutely. I'm just tired from our day. I don't think I'll have any trouble getting to sleep tonight."

This is another lie, but what's the point in stopping now?

Especially when he seems so content with all of the progress we've made over the course of the day.

"That's too bad. I was hoping we could sneak down to the dock for some night fishing after everyone went to bed."

I shake my head.

Nope.

I've already got plans for tonight.

I turn my head to glance at Ben.

Ben's apparently eavesdropping on our conversation.

His smug smile gives him away.

* * *

 **A/N:** Oh what tangled webs we weave. ;)

Bella seems to have found herself a nice distraction for the summer. How deep will she jump in with Ben? And once in, will she sink or swim?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

 ***Reviews Make Me Smile***

 _ ****As thanks for making me smile, I will share an Outtake in your Inbox from Ben's POV while he's listening to Irina tell Heidi about Edward having a girlfriend back in Chicago.****_

 **A huge THANK YOU to everyone who voted for Two Makes Five to be one of the Top 10 Fics completed in June. I'm happy to share it ranked in at #6! So very awesome! That made my month for sure! *All The Hearts***

 _P.S. I am still working on the Aliases & Avatars update. That being said, it's hell'a hard to switch between writing in present tense then jumping back into past tense, so it's been a process, to say the least. Just know it's happening. ;)_


	5. No Strings Attached

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** All the thanks to my awesome beta, MariahajilE. She got this chapter back to me so quickly and did another phenomenal job cleaning it up. Hugs-hugs-hugs to my pre-readers, BPLemons, and myonlyheroin. I'm so lucky to have you, girls!

It's been a crazy week with school starting back up and summer coming to a close... Thankfully, I still get to live part-time in an extended summer while working on this story, haha.

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 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 4**

 **No Strings Attached**

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I lie in bed watching the red lights on my alarm clock change with every minute that passes.

As soon as Jasper and I got back to our house, I ran upstairs to shower and change into my pajamas.

My current goal is to avoid him as much as possible since I caught him eyeing Edward and me more than once throughout the night.

This, of course, means our blanket trick didn't fool anyone, but I'm determined to not let this fact bother me.

Especially since sitting beside Edward, while holding his hand, was the perfect way for us to end our birthday together.

We all said goodnight at the fire pit just before midnight.

Before going our separate ways, Ben caught my attention long enough to wink at me.

That wink was a silent message—a message which let me know we were still on for later.

I've been a nervous wreck ever since.

The butterflies in my stomach are beyond ridiculous at this point, but no matter how hard I try to settle myself down, I only seem to make them worse.

I leap up from my bed and walk over to the window. After cracking it open, I quickly return to my blanket and pull it all the way up to my chin.

My eyes find the clock again.

 _Ten minutes to go_.

That's when I notice the light turn on in the hallway. Jasper's shadow appears on the other side of my locked door. He pauses to contemplate how much he actually values his life and whether or not he should knock.

"Don't do it, little brother," I whisper.

I finally breathe again when I see him pivot.

A few seconds later, the hall light turns off.

 _Thank you._

Today was good—not perfect, but good.

Edward and I… We're doing better. It's progress. Then again, anything is progress as long as we're together and not hiding from one another.

We're finding our way without testing our boundaries too hard, too soon. Plus, we made new forever memories today while spending time together with our families. It was as if all was right in the world.

 _Tap-tap-tap_

My eyes glance over at the clock.

Ben's early.

My window starts to slide open before I've even gotten myself out of bed.

"Quiet. My brother was just wandering the hall trying to figure out his life," I whisper, helping him push the window all the way up so it'll catch. "You better come inside. It looks like the Cullens are still up too."

Several lights are on over at their house, even though it's now well after midnight.

Ben nods and swings his legs over the windowsill.

I close the window again and turn to find him standing in the center of my room.

He's looking around with a wide grin.

"You know what? I don't think I've ever been in here before."

"Yes, you have. When I was eleven, you and Emmett stuffed frogs and seaweed into my pillowcase and under my covers," I remind him with a smirk.

"Oh, right! That was hilarious!"

"Yes. _So_ funny," I snicker, giving him a light shove.

He catches my hands with his, then holds them against his own, bringing me in closer toward him.

"Did you have a nice night?" Ben whispers, looking into my eyes.

"Yup, I did."

"The cake was good."

"Yup, it was."

"You do realize we all knew exactly what was going on under that blanket, right?"

"Jesus! We were only holding hands!" I whisper back, pulling myself away from him to walk toward my bed.

Ben laughs softly and follows, then leans into my shoulder after sitting down beside me. "Sorry. Just stating the obvious. We're not dumb. Heidi was grumbling about it during our entire walk home."

I roll my eyes and fall backward with a huff.

"I'm terrible."

"No, you're not. You're fifteen, and you like him."

"When does it get easier?"

"Pfft! Never, from what I've been told," he says, collapsing next to me. "This is only the beginning for you."

We both lie there looking up at my ceiling and its glow-in-the-dark stars that are barely shining anymore.

I release a soft sigh once the silence starts to get to me, then fold my hands over my chest.

"And then here you come, riding in with your _words_ and _hot chocolate_ , making it all even harder."

Ben takes in a deep breath, lets it out, and rolls onto his side to look at me. "That's not my intention. This is weird for me too, just so you know."

His confession makes me smile.

For some reason, it makes me feel better knowing it's just as weird for him.

"Emmett would kill me."

"Yup. Probably. Actually, most definitely." I'm smirking a little wider.

"I just… I felt this… Something was just different when I saw you yesterday. And then I heard about Edward having a girlfriend back in Chicago."

"Do you have a girlfriend in New York?"

 _Good girl! It's about time you asked!_

"Me?"

"No, the other person lying on my bed with me," I answer him, a soft laugh following my words.

Even though I'm still staring up at the ceiling, I can feel his eyes watching me.

He's watching me, and it's starting to do very bad things to all the thoughts I have torpedoing into my head.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend. I was too focused on football and keeping my grades up. Not everyone's as brilliant as you." He reaches over to brush the side of my face with the back of his hand, then smiles as his blue eyes search mine. "Or as beautiful."

Now he's just being ridiculous.

"I bet you say that to all the girls at the after-game parties."

"Nope. We can count this moment as another first for me."

I can literally feel my cheeks burning. If he doesn't shut up soon, I'll have to smother his mouth with mine. He seems to notice this.

"I make you nervous, don't I?"

I laugh and close my eyes. "Everything about _this_ makes me nervous. You talking to me like _this_... You looking at me the way you've been looking at me since yesterday… The way it felt when I actually kissed you last night... All of it."

Ben moves closer, and I can feel his warm breath on my skin. It sends a fresh wave of goosebumps across my body followed by a strangely enjoyable shiver down my spine all the way to the tips of my toes.

"But do _I_ make you nervous, Bella? Just me. The Ben you've known since you were eight."

I think his question over and bite down on my bottom lip. Honestly, there are multiple responses I can give.

Yes, he does make me nervous, but it isn't a scary kind of nervousness. It's more of an excited kind.

The kind of excitement you feel just before a roller coaster drops at the top of an insanely high hill. Or when you do something you're not supposed to but don't get caught.

It's definitely different from what I feel when I'm with Edward.

With Edward, it's always anything and everything all at once. Breathing becomes difficult, and my chest feels like it might eventually explode when I can't touch him.

With Ben it's… It's just different.

I like it, though. I like the difference.

"No," I finally answer him. "I mean, yes but no. I trust you. My heart's beating a hundred miles a minute right now, but I trust you."

"Good. I can't imagine ever doing anything to hurt you."

"Pfft! Says the boy who—"

He puts his finger over my lips to shush me.

"I'm not that boy anymore."

That's all it takes. The next thing I know, I'm straddling his body and kissing his mouth so hard I fear I might actually hurt him. His hands take hold of my hips, and our mouths continue to move needfully without either of us slowing down.

I've never actually made out with a boy on a bed before.

It's always been deemed too dangerous in the past.

Jake and I got close once, but my parents came home early, and he ended up hiding under my bed until they fell asleep.

By that time, he'd missed his curfew and ended up grounded for a week.

This right here with Ben? This is a new first for me; one to store away and forever remember on a rainy day.

I smile against his lips, then feel his hands start to slowly slide past my hips toward my bare thighs.

His fingertips begin to purposely raise the bottom of the oversized t-shirt I'm wearing, and when his warm touch meets the skin just below my navel to trace along the elastic band of my panties, I panic.

"No, no, no!" I gasp, pulling myself off of him to quickly roll away and stand up. "Too fast. Too soon. I can't… It's all still a little too weird for me," I confess, breathing heavily after firmly pulling my shirt back down.

I can't take first leaps like these with Ben when I haven't experienced them with Edward yet.

I would hate myself in the morning for it. I'd probably hate Ben too, and that's the very last thing I want.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I lost myself for a second. It won't happen again. I promise." He stands up and walks toward me but keeps his eyes set on mine, controlling my stare. When he opens his arms, I step into them. He pulls me against his body to wrap me in his embrace, then rests his chin at the top of my head.

He keeps me there, and I press my ear into the center of his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. The sound of it helps me find my smile again.

Ben Tori is officially making me smile like I haven't smiled in months.

I know full well he isn't a virgin. He proudly shared that bit of information with all of us last summer during a rather wild round of "Never Have I Ever" over on the tiny beach.

If I hadn't stopped him just now, there's no telling where things would've gone.

My own experience, with boys my age, stops at some intense making out while Jake's hand rubbed awkwardly against the outside of my shirt.

Edward accidentally did it once last summer, and he spent the rest of the day apologizing for it.

Unfortunately, he caught me by complete surprise, so I didn't know how to react in the moment.

I laughed.

I actually laughed _really_ hard, and he never tried to do it again after that.

Of course, I hoped we'd change that _this_ summer, but… We get what we get, and we don't complain.

"Oh! Your gift!"

"That's right, Tori." I giggle. "You were only supposed to come to my window to give me my birthday present."

I lift my head and loosen my arms around him. After taking a step back, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, black velvet pouch and then drops it into my hand and smiles.

"It made me think of you."

"Yeah. You said that earlier," I tease, looking down at the bag.

I slowly open it and dump what's inside into my opened palm.

It's a silver anklet, with a small swan charm and tiny little sun decorating its chain.

"Ben!" I gasp. "It's beautiful. I absolutely love it! Thank you!"

Without thinking, I reach up to grab at the back of his neck and pull him down to kiss his mouth.

As wrong as this probably is and as much drama as it can bring, he's helping me forget all about the heartache Edward has caused me over the last two months. Honestly, why should I hold myself back if he's able to make me smile, even if it's not the same kind of happiness I feel when I'm with Edward?

Aside from the fact Emmett would likely kill Ben, what harm could actually come from us being together when no one else is around?

"Can we maybe make this a nightly thing?"

I laugh and shake my head. Nightly would never work. Sometimes I'll want to sneak out and be alone. Sometimes I hope I'll be sneaking out to meet up with Edward, even though no kissing will ever be involved—at least for the time being.

"You'll start to get sick of me. How about Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?" I playfully suggest, not thinking he'll actually take me seriously.

"Works for me, especially since tomorrow's Monday." His hand finds mine, and he takes the chain from my palm, kneels down beside my bare feet, and fastens it onto my right leg.

On his way up again, his fingertips travel across my bare skin, stopping at my hips from under my shirt. "Until tomorrow, Little Swan. Thanks for inviting me up." He kisses my forehead, and I close my eyes to take in a deep breath. I swiftly release it before kissing his lips one more time.

"Thanks for turning my world upside down." My hands push him toward my window.

He smirks, shrugs his shoulders, and winks before climbing outside to disappear over the ledge.

I grin as I watch him walk around the side of my house where he heads into the woods.

He's being careful and taking the long way toward the backyard of his place.

When I can no longer see him, I close my window and then skip to my bed.

I can smell him on me. His scent is all over my blanket and pillow.

Today was good.

I'm smiling again.

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

Two full weeks pass, and our daily routines continue to remain steady without any real change or hiccups.

Edward and I spend our days together, usually with Jasper, Alice, Heidi, and Ri following us around in the morning. In the afternoons, we lose them and disappear to be all alone so we can hold hands until dinner time.

On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights, Ben comes over to lie on my bed, where we spend our time talking.

Sometimes we kiss, but not always.

Mostly, we just talk, unless I drop a hint I'm looking for more.

On the nights when I'm looking for more, he always lets me lead. I'm also usually the one who has to slow us down, but he never gives me a hard time or makes me feel bad when I reach my limit.

During the day, we hardly say ten words to each other, even if we're seated next to one another at lunch or dinner.

This is my new routine, and I'm managing to get by without feeling like I'm drowning in it all.

Some days, it's easy.

Other days, not so much.

Today, Rose arrives.

I've agreed to go into town with Edward and his dad to pick her up at the airport. Before heading down to the dock, I go into the kitchen to grab something to eat for lunch. Once there, I find my mother sitting at the table, sipping at her coffee with a romance novel in her hand.

"Morning, sweetpea."

"Please don't call me that."

She sighs, closes her book, and slowly slides it away from her.

"Come sit with me. I've hardly seen you this week."

I like it that way, but I won't say that out loud.

"Where's Dad?"

"He took Jasper out on the big boat for some fishing with Mr. Tori and his girls."

Ugh.

This means we're all alone.

Never good.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about something."

 _And here it comes._

We've already had the sex talk. It was probably one of the most mortifying moments of my entire life.

She looks nervous, though.

Anxious and nervous.

I'm really hoping this won't be an encore presentation stemming from that horrid conversation, but something tells me I should prepare for the worst.

She's taking forever to find her words, and it's really starting to annoy me. With a heavy sigh, I sit down and grab a banana from the fruit bowl to make it my lunch.

"Sweetie, maybe you shouldn't eat that right now."

I look down at the piece of fruit in my hand and drop it on the table in blatant disgust.

"Jesus. Seriously?! We've had this talk already, and now you've forever ruined bananas for me. Thanks."

"I know we've had _the_ talk, but your father pointed out something last night, and with it, I realized maybe I might've left a few things out."

She literally covered _everything_ with our first talk: hand jobs, blow jobs, what a real orgasm feels like, and how to apply a freakishly large condom by using an extremely huge and awkwardly shaped cucumber as her robust model.

What else can there possibly be for us to discuss?

"I just want to make sure you're _fully_ aware of boys and the way they tend to think in high school."

This.

Is.

Horrible.

"Your dad and I realize that you and Edward have a very unique and special bond."

"Nope. I really don't want to talk about this with you right now."

I can feel my temples beginning to pulse and my cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

Mom shifts her weight in her chair and lets out a sigh, "This isn't exactly fun for me, either, Bella. Telling you not to do something will only make you want to do it even more, so that's not what this talk is about."

She's right. I have to give credit where credit is due.

Her telling me _not_ to do something will absolutely only make me want to do it more.

"At home, we keep you too busy for you to get yourself into much trouble. Now that you're older, you need to understand that trouble can find you anywhere, even here."

I give up on hiding my smirk. "Thanks, Mom. but I do realize babies can be made on an island too. Edward and I are only friends. He has a girlfriend this summer. You and Dad know this."

"And you had a boyfriend _last_ summer."

Now I'm glaring.

This is supposed to be something we don't discuss.

Edward and our unique and special bond.

We've never talked about it before, so what makes things any different now?

"You really don't need to worry about me."

"I know, but just to be on the safe side, your father and I feel it may be time to implement a new rule for when we're here."

I jump from my seat, arms at my hips, nostrils flaring. "I don't need any new rules!"

"No more boys in your room at night, Isabella."

My mouth drops open, but I shut it just as quickly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She smirks and raises her right brow. "You're not as quiet as you think you are, young lady, and your bedroom is right above ours."

"Fine."

"Have you and Edward… Have you already had se—"

"NO! Jesus Christ! NO!"

Mom looks relieved, but I'm nowhere near calm.

I'm walking away now because I can't take any more of this.

"Bella, wait. There's one more thing."

I stop and slowly turn around.

She's holding something in her hand.

"I had Dr. Miller write a script for you a few months ago when we went to see him about your cycle being so weird because of the training you were doing. I went ahead and had it filled before we left home. I'm not saying you need them; I'm saying it's probably a good idea to start taking them with your other vitamins, just in case."

It doesn't take me long to realize she's holding birth control pills.

I walk over and snatch them from her hand, then stuff the light pink compact-looking packaging into my side pocket. There's no point in arguing with her. She'll only hear what she wants to hear, and right now, she only wants to hear I'll take them.

"I honestly don't need these, but if it'll help you sleep better—"

"What will help me sleep better is you keeping Edward out of your room at night."

It's so tempting to tell her it's not Edward she needs to worry about, but I keep my mouth shut and nod my head obediently. "Is that all?"

"Yes, Bella. That's all. Have a nice afternoon in town with the Edward and his dad. Check in when you get back."

As soon as she's done, I run up to my room as fast as I can. My hand reaches into my pocket, and I stick the pills inside my top dresser drawer, then take off down the stairs to head to the dock.

As I get closer though, I can see it's not Dr. Cullen standing with Edward on the boat.

 _Nope._

Emmett's with him.

So is Ben.

"What's this?" I question, looking at only Edward and Emmett, my eyes purposely avoiding Ben's.

"Our dad had something come up."

 _What the hell comes up on an island at noon?_

"Ben and I are going with you guys instead."

I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't agree to me going over to the mainland without an actual adult chaperone, but there's no time for me to run back up to the house to tell my mom about our change in plans.

I'll likely suffer the consequences when we get back. For now, though, I don't care.

Edward smiles, then offers me his hand and carefully helps me onto the boat. We take a seat in the back, and Ben positions himself across from us while Emmett steers at the center. The ride to the mainland only takes about ten minutes, but finding a place to dock usually takes another ten. Edward doesn't let go of my hand once during that twenty-minute period.

I notice Ben glaring, but his glares only make me squeeze Edward's hand more because his looks are stressing me out.

When our younger siblings aren't around, Edward and I stop pretending altogether, as far as the hand-holding goes. This started last week when Emmett called us out while the three of us were snorkeling on the tiny island.

He told us our act was getting old. He also told us to cut our shit out, because his brother and I belong together and he couldn't care less about our PDA.

After finding a place to dock and tying up the boat, Emmett calls an Uber, and we take a seat on the curb to wait.

Edward's on one side of me, and Ben's on the other, both of their shoulders pressing into one of mine.

 _Awkward._

"Can I use your phone Em?"

I look up. Edward's random request surprises me. It takes me less than a second to realize who he's probably wanting to reach out to.

 _Charlotte_.

Emmett tosses his brother the phone, then tells us he'll be back in ten minutes and to not wander too far. "Ben, you coming?"

"Nah. I'll hang back and babysit since Bella snuck off the island without any adult supervision."

Normally his wise-ass remark would make me smirk, but right now, all I can focus on is Edward and the fact the first thing he thought about once we arrived was to call _her_.

My heart feels so heavy.

It hurts so bad.

I find myself holding my breath after he stands up to walk away with Emmett's phone in his hand... right where my hand used to be.

When my eyes begin to tear up, I seal them shut and ball up my fists down at my sides.

I take in a deep breath.

I slowly exhale.

Moments later, I feel Ben's fingers covering my own.

He squeezes the top of my hand to help settle me down, then nudges me with his shoulder. "Wanna take a walk, Little Swan?"

I look over and find his soft smile.

I nod my head but say nothing.

Edward's already disappeared around the corner, probably looking for more privacy.

This is fine.

I can handle this.

I'll just go in search of some more privacy myself. With Ben.

We take off together in the opposite direction Edward's gone and run into a boutique right next door to the market. Once inside, Ben pulls on my hand to bring me toward the back of the store. He's just about to kiss me when I notice Emmett. He's looking at something in a glass case over in the far corner of the room.

Thankfully, his back is turned to us.

"Crap!" I give Ben a hard shove, then wait for his eyes to find his best friend who's apparently shopping for gaudy costume jewelry.

Emmett must've sensed he was being watched, because he turns around, sees us, and freezes. He appears to be slightly embarrassed over what we've caught him looking at.

"Shopping for someone special?" I tease.

"What are you two doing in here? Where's my brother?"

"Talking to his girlfriend," I quickly mumble, a pout sneaking past my bottom lip.

Emmett nudges me.

His right eye winks.

"Chin up, buttercup. That's not who he's calling. It's a good call. It's why I came instead of our dad."

I see Ben narrow his eyes, and he slowly straightens his stance.

This is apparently news to him too.

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see. Come on. Let's go find him. Our ride should be here soon."

I stand there motionless for a few extra seconds, trying my best to process what Emmett might be saying without actually saying it. My mind comes up with several different possibilities, but all of them end with me still not being able to kiss Edward, so what's the point, really?

When I get outside, I find the three of them talking quietly on the sidewalk.

"All right. So Ben and I will be back in a little over an hour with Rose."

"Wait. What?" Now I'm even more confused.

Emmett looks over and smiles. "You and my brother are staying back in town. Ben and I will go to the airport to get Rose."

Edward grabs my hand and begins pulling me away, not even giving me a chance to say goodbye.

"What's happening?"

"Emmett talked my dad into letting him go get Rose with us so you and I could have some one-on-one time alone off the island, out in the real world."

"The real world sucks," I grumble, remembering once again, in the the real world, Edward has a girlfriend.

"Come on, Debbie Downer. We don't have a lot of time." He guides me down the sidewalk, holding my hand tightly in his, but every once in a while, he loosens his grasp to rub his thumb gently across the top of my skin.

I like it when he does that. It sends goosebumps across every part of my body. He notices and smiles down at me.

The look he's giving me is about to drive me mad.

"Where are we going?"

"It's just around the corner. I'm actually pretty shocked you haven't figured it out yet."

I see a street sign pointing toward a park, but then my eyes spot the gym right across the street.

I freeze, stopping him with me.

Edward smiles wider. "It's been over two months. You've got to be itching to rub some chalk on your hands. I had a feeling you wouldn't want your parents to know, because it could give them the wrong idea, that you might want to actually train and compete again. So I called to see if you could come in and use their equipment for an hour. Lucky for you, they still have the waiver on file your dad signed last year."

During summers past, Dad would bring me to this gym at least once a week, sometimes twice, just so I wouldn't get too "rusty" over the break.

This is absolutely unexpected, though, especially coming from Edward.

It's also ridiculously sweet.

I want to kiss him so badly right now.

He can tell.

He wants to kiss me too.

"Seriously. Stop looking at me like that," I warn with a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I just like making you smile, and when I make it happen, it makes me feel good."

 _Well, I just like it when your smile gets to touch my smile, so there's that._

 _JERK._

 _Change the subject, Bella. Change it right now._

"I'm not sure how limber I'll be in jean shorts and a t-shirt."

"No worries. I thought about that."

I watch him reach into his back pocket, and two seconds later, he's pulling out one of my black-and-white leotards.

"How in the world did you—?"

"I grabbed it when I was in your room yesterday while you were taking a shower before dinner. I was actually surprised to see you'd even brought one with you."

"It's a habit, like packing underwear," I confess, taking it from his hand. He smiles again and begins walking us across the street.

I'm actually feeling rather excited.

This is shocking.

I hadn't realized it before now, but Edward's right; I have missed putting on a leotard and chalking up my hands.

Once inside, the girl at the front desk greets us by our names, and I quickly disappear into the locker room to change. When I come out, the lights are all on, but only Edward and a female coach I've never seen before are inside the gym with one younger gymnast practicing her routine over on the balance beam.

She can't be more than ten.

I watch her for a few minutes, smiling to myself, then walk over to say hello after her perfect dismount.

"Wow! You're very good!"

She seems shy but smiles back, then shrugs and asks to see my routine.

"Oh, I don't want to mess up your training time."

"It's fine. She's earned a break," her coach shares with me, then extends her arm out to shake my hand and tell me her name is Cora. "I remember seeing you at nationals, Bella Swan. What's brought you here to our little gym?"

Now it's my turn to appear embarrassed. "My family vacations here every summer."

"Well, then. It's Bree's lucky day to see a real athlete in this place."

I smile again at the little girl and shake her hand next. "It's nice to meet you, Bree. Have you been training long?"

"Since I was five. I'm almost ten."

"I started when I was five too! What's your favorite apparatus?"

"Bars."

"Me too," I tell her with a smile before nodding my head toward them. "Let's go over there."

Bree instantly looks at her coach to get approval. When she gets it, we all walk across the gym. I glance over at Edward as we pass him by and give a quick wave from my hand.

"Is that your boyfriend? He's super cute!"

"No." I sigh. "He's not my boyfriend. It's complicated." I reach into the chalk bucket and rub some onto my hands, then clap it out in front of me, creating a big ball of white dust in the air.

"Were you at nationals, Bree?"

She shakes her head, a frown forming at her lips. "No. I'm hoping to qualify next year."

"I'll show you my bars routine. It got me second place in my division, which was annoying since it's my favorite routine to do, but you can't win them all."

"You were robbed, Bella," Cora speaks up, smiling down at me as I begin stretching over the floor.

I shrug indifferently, then stand up to position myself at the center of the bottom bar.

My eyes find Edward's, and I feel my cheeks flush.

He's still grinning in my direction, conjuring up those butterflies in the pit of my belly.

After starting my routine and completing my first major layup, I lose myself to the counts in my head paired with the movements of my arms and legs.

A minute and a half later, I land my dismount without a single tremble finding its way to my knees.

"How do you do the blind release right into a double salto without falling?! That was crazy insane!"

"You've got to learn to trust your instincts. Then it's easy."

I look over at Edward again and see him standing in awe, his hands still clapping loudly.

Last summer, I would've run over to give him a kiss.

This summer, I'm sticking to trusting my damn instincts.

Bree and I continue around the gym and stop at each apparatus, taking turns and showing each other our routines. I give her some tips here and there when her coach prompts them out of me, but truthfully, the kid's already amazing.

I hadn't been paying attention to the time at all, so when I stick my last landing from my floor routine and hear a giant round of applause take over the gym, I look over to find Emmett, Rose, and Ben all standing with Edward.

Rose runs over right away to hug me.

"That was breathtaking, Bella! You're really something to watch! It's so good to see you!" I hug her two times and take a quick second to step back and admire how gorgeous she looks.

I swear it. Rose could be a model on the cover of _Teen Vogue Magazine_ , with her strawberry-blonde hair, hazel-green eyes, and figure to die for.

I hate her.

I mean, I don't, but I do.

"Emmett said you grew up. He wasn't lying! I can't believe I've known you since you were born, but that was the first time I've ever actually seen you in your element! You're incredible! Isn't she incredible?!"

"She's more than incredible," Edward speaks up and smiles in my direction. "She's everything." He moves to position himself next to me, then takes my hand in his to bring it up to his lips right there in front of everyone.

Ben's entire body stiffens beside Emmett.

His jaw clenches, and he looks away.

With her eyes wide, Rose makes it a point to wave her arm dramatically between her younger brother and me. "Wait. I thought you said all of this was on hold?" She's looking at Emmett, demanding an explanation for Edward's sudden PDA.

"Actually, what I said was our little brother's taking his sweet-ass time accepting the inevitable, but as you can see, that ice is beginning to thaw and Charlotte's days are becoming more and more numbered. We gotta get going, though, or our parents won't let you guys back over here with me for the rest of the summer."

Edward lets go of my hand, then pulls me in under his arm to keep me beside him just as Bree comes running up.

"Bella, will you be back? Coach Cora said she'd be happy to train us both while you're still in town. I'll even share my time with you! My parents won't care!"

"I'm only here for another few weeks."

Bree pouts at my response. Edward pokes at my hip. "We can get you over here again. We'll figure something out. Do you train every day at this time?"

Bree nods her head several times, and her eyes fill with hope. "Yes! Monday through Friday!"

I sigh. "All right. I'll try to get back over on Friday. No promises, though, especially if there's bad weather."

The tiny gymnast hugs me, and Emmett begins to tug on my arm. "Let's go, little younglings! Tick-tock!"

"Wait. I need to change real quick."

"Fine. We'll meet you outside. Hurry up, Little Swan!"

I nod and take off toward the locker room. Instead of changing out of my leo, I just put my shorts and t-shirt on over it and then pull my hair from its ponytail.

When I bolt out the door, I almost slam right into Ben.

He's clearly waiting for me.

"I need to see you tonight."

Impossible. Edward and I already have plans to meet up later after our parents have gone to bed.

"It's Tuesday," I remind him. "I can't tonight."

"Why?"

I offer a look, hoping it'll give him the answer he needs without me having to actually say it outloud.

"Fine. Then before dinner. Can you meet me over at house number four? Upstairs?"

Now it's my turn to ask him why. "What's so urgent, Benjamin Tori?"

"Just meet me there around 6:30. The keycode is the same from last summer. I'll wait for you inside."

He says nothing else, and I watch him turn on his heels to leave me standing there with nothing else but a stunned expression on my face.

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

 **A/N:** _Sounds like things are about to get a little more complicated. ;)_

 _Edward did something sweet... so did Ben when he swooped in to make Bella feel better about Edward taking off to make a phone call. Who are you championing at this point?_

 _By far, my favorite scene to write in this chapter was the sit down between Bella and her mom, haha. How awkward was "the talk" with your parents when you were a teenager?_

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

 ****As thanks for leaving me your words,**

 **I'll pay it forward in my reply to your review,**

 **With an outtake from Emmett's POV,**

 **Taken from when their all on the mainland together.****


	6. Stay Afloat

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 _ **A/N:**_ _Many thanks to my beta, MariahajilE, and pre-readers, Myonlyheroin and BPLemons. *heart*_

 _Any and all mistakes are mine triggered by my twitchy fingers during that last read through._

 _More with the A/N at the end of the chapter._

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Stay Afloat**

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When we return to the island, Edward carries me home on his back with my head resting against his.

After reaching the top of the hill, I immediately see my mom and dad waiting on our porch. Edward carefully sets me down on my feet. He lets out a nervous whistle from between his lips. "Crap. Not good."

He's right.

My parents don't look happy.

In fact, I can't recall ever seeing them look so silently angry before.

Not in all my fifteen years.

"I guess they know about the change in our plans," I mutter, more to myself than to him.

"It's okay. I'll take the blame. It was my idea."

"It's probably better if you let me handle it," I warn, then quickly run off, leaving him behind so he won't get the chance to argue with me.

I mean, I can't exactly tell him he's already on their bad side since they think he's been sneaking into my room at night, especially when he hasn't been.

With every step that brings me closer to our porch, I start to drag my feet a little more in the gravel. Not that it helps. If anything, I'm only making things worse for myself.

For some reason, though, I really don't care.

They get what they get. They shouldn't complain.

I'm fifteen now, not ten. I have friends back home who go to California with just their older siblings for the weekend. Me going over to the mainland for two hours shouldn't be a big deal.

I take a deep breath, let it all out, and straighten my shoulders. "Okay. I realize I probably should've told you about Dr. Cullen, but—"

Dad raises his hand into the air, signaling for me to stop speaking. "Quiet. You know you're never to leave here without an adult. It's the one rule you have during the summer, Isabella Swan."

Technically, I now have _two_ rules, but it's probably not the best time to mention that.

I'm panicking, trying to think of a way out of this. We barely have three weeks left. I don't want to be grounded for a single day of it.

"What if something had happened to you?! We have no phone here to be notified!"

My arms cross firmly in front of me, and my foot gently kicks at a rock after my eyes look away. "Nothing happened to me. I'm fine."

When I do look up again, I can see they're both still extremely upset. They just don't know how to react without pushing me further away.

Over the last six months, I haven't exactly made things easy for them.

It's not their fault, though, that things have started to become a little more challenging in the choice/free will department.

Even before Edward went MIA, I'd already started to tip-toe past some of their hard limits.

Rarely would they actually call me out on it.

Our family therapist tells them it's all normal behavior, that they need to let me fly on my own so I can fall and learn from my mistakes.

It appears I've flown a little too far this time.

It's obvious there's only one way out of this.

"Edward surprised me. He took me to the gym in town," I impulsively spit out and then cover my mouth.

Their faces go blank.

Mom stands up. "What gym?"

"The one dad usually takes me to when we're here."

Now they both look confused but, at the same time, very much relieved.

I feel guilty, but it doesn't take me long to realize I should capitalize on this a little more. "I met a coach there, Cora, and a girl she's training. Her name's Bree. She's almost ten. They want me to come back Friday."

Dad takes a step closer. "Absolutely! I'll take you myself. We can even go tomorrow if you'd like!"

I've made his day.

He's smiling wider than he has in months.

Being in trouble is officially off the table.

 _Success_.

"Friday's fine. They'll be there at noon. I still have on my leo, so I'm going to go change." I lift up my shirt to show them I'm telling the truth, then force a slow smile.

Again their faces beam with pride.

My parents have always been my biggest cheerleaders, which is why it surprised me so much when they didn't give me a hard time about quitting out of nowhere.

Mom even hugs me when I pass by.

I roll my eyes and hug them both, then go inside where Jasper's waiting for me.

He looks stressed.

"Jesus. Not you too."

He follows me up the stairs, and when I try to close my door in his face, he pushes it open and gently closes it behind him.

"I need to talk to you."

"About what?" I grab a change of clothes from my dresser and make my way toward my closet after he plops down on my bed, which means he won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

"Ri told me something."

I scoff, "Oh, yeah? What's Irina gossiping about this week? Another fox over by the little beach? Or maybe it was a bear in the woods this time."

"She said she saw Ben sneaking out last night, and she followed him over here."

I freeze and narrow my eyes in the darkness of my closet.

"Bella."

I'm frantically shaking my head in full panic mode now.

My heart's beating so fast that I almost feel like I might have an actual full-blown anxiety attack.

 _Another first for the island to take from me._

"Are you and Ben…? Are you two—?"

I come storming out and grab my brother by his shirt.

"Shut up! Okay! Just stop talking!"

Jasper's eyes go wide, and then his brows slowly narrow. His disappointment is obvious, but that doesn't matter because I'm only getting angrier the longer I look at him.

"Jesus. Are you serious right now?! What are you thinking, Bella!? Ben?!"

I don't have time for his judgment. "Did she tell anyone else? Does Heidi know?"

"No. She only told me. She promised she wouldn't say anything to anyone else. I told her I'd talk to you because it couldn't be what she thought, but... I guess I was wrong."

My mind is racing, trying to think of something to say.

I hate the way he's looking at me.

It makes me feel dirty.

Ben and I haven't even really done anything wrong, but still… Jasper's making me believe I've done something absolutely horrific, and I'm beginning to hate him for it.

"Just tell her we…"

"I'll tell her he left some prank for you. She'll believe me. You just have to tell him to go along with it if she ever says anything."

My little brother's offering to be my own personal fixer.

I'm in shock.

The disappointment is still there on his face, though.

It's beginning to hurt my heart.

"He's single, Jasper. I'm single."

"Are you actually having sex with him?"

My eyes go wide to match his own expression, and I shake my head several times. "No! Nothing like that. We mostly talk."

"But you do _other_ stuff too," he quickly finishes for me.

"We kiss sometimes. It hasn't really been anything more than that. I promise." I can only hope he believes me since it's basically the truth.

He sighs, and I loosen my grip on his shirt then slowly sit on my bed.

"Does Emmett know? Is that why he was being so weird this morning?"

Emmett being weird this morning is news to me. He seemed fine when we were on the mainland, except for when we caught him browsing the jewelry cases in the boutique.

"No. No one else knows. No one else can _ever_ know. It'd cause so much drama. It's better we keep it a secret."

"But are you two, like an actual _thing_ now?"

I really don't want to continue talking about this with him. All I want to do is run away and figure out my life without having my brother look at me as if I'm someone he doesn't even know anymore.

"We're not a thing; it's just something for us to do at night. Ben helps me forget about Edward."

Jasper scoffs and shakes his head. "Okay. And what does Ben get out of it?"

I narrow my eyes and clench my fists. "I don't need to explain myself to you."

"Maybe I should tell our parents, then!"

I slug him in the arm, then shove him hard. "I'll kill you if you do! Besides, I have to tell Ben it has to stop, anyway. Mom and Dad know someone's been coming over; they just think it's Edward."

"Jesus. You really know how to dig yourself into a hole, don't you?"

I roll my eyes again. "Okay, _Dad_. Time to go." I walk toward my door, but Jasper doesn't budge.

I need to get away.

He can sit in here all day if that's what he wants to do, but I'm leaving. "See you at dinner, little brother."

Without saying anything else, I leave the room and head down the stairs, passing my parents in the kitchen. "I'll be back later."

They shout something in return, but I'm already out the front door and running down the pebbled path in search of my summer secret.

Thankfully, I'm in luck.

Ben's sitting with his dad on their porch. It looks like they're tying hooks for their fishing poles.

He waves after seeing me, and I quickly gesture toward house number four before his dad looks up.

All I can do is pray he knows I mean now and not later.

I keep walking, then turn as if I'm going to head into the woods, but I'm really just taking the long way around to reach the back of the vacant house no one ever stays in.

Once I'm there, my feet carry me up the steps to the back porch, and I press the four-digit code into the keypad. When it chirps, I enter and quietly close and lock it.

I expected it to be warmer inside and a lot stuffier, but it's actually not. I head upstairs to crack open one of the back bedroom windows, then take a seat on the edge of the bed, which looks as though it's been jumped on quite recently.

This causes me to pause and narrow my eyes.

Someone's clearly been in here, but I can't focus on that right now.

Right now, my head's all over the place.

Seconds later, I stand back up and start to anxiously pace the room as my hand tugs at my hair.

Ben already has something he wants to talk to me about, and now I have something else to add to it.

Two something elses, actually: he can't keep coming to my window at night and his little sister's starting to get suspicious of his nighttime activity.

"Hey, beautiful."

I spin around and smile. Ben's standing in the doorway with his tanned arms crossed in front of him and a crooked grin on his face.

He walks toward me and kisses my lips the second our feet touch. When we eventually separate, he holds my face between his hands and smiles. "You were amazing today. I had no idea you were _that_ good. It was killing me to not hug you in front of everyone and tell you how awestruck I was."

I blush, and he grins wider before kissing me again.

"You can't quit, Bella. You love doing gymnastics. I could see it all over your face today."

"Is this why you wanted to meet up? To tell me what I _can't_ do in my real life?"

I don't mean to sound annoyed, but I am. I really don't need or want him harping on me too.

"All you have to do is tell your parents about the pervy coach. He needs to be fired, anyway. The guy's an asshole and sick in the head."

I told Ben about Coach Felix just the other night. He backed me into a corner when I slipped up while talking about my spring break.

Once I finished, Ben was so angry. He literally had to leave my room to go for a walk. He was gone for almost forty minutes before he came back through my window to hold me in my bed again.

That was the first night I ever fell asleep in his arms. I listened to his heartbeat with my ear against his chest.

He fell asleep too and didn't leave my bed until the sun began to come up.

"I explained this to you. It's not only about my coach. I'm going to be loaded with homework next year."

"Bullshit. You don't need to quit completely. Just don't compete then."

I let out a frustrated sigh, because deep down, I know he's right. I won't admit it out loud, but I'm going to consider his suggestion. "We'll see. There's something else we need to talk about. My parents know you've been sneaking into my room at night."

He sits up straighter.

His panic almost makes me laugh.

"I mean, they don't know it's you. They assume it's Edward."

"Of course they do."

He seems annoyed.

I don't know why. It's good they don't suspect it's him. That means we're doing a good job at keeping whatever _this_ is a secret.

"But your sister did follow you last night, and she did see you climb up to my window."

Now he's back to looking panicked.

"Heidi?"

"No. Irina. She mentioned it to Jasper. He's going to tell her you were leaving a prank for me."

"Smart kid."

I swat at his arm, then lean into his shoulder. "This changes everything, Ben."

"We just have to be more careful. We can start switching it up and meeting here sometimes at night instead."

It's an idea—a possible possibility.

"Or the treehouse."

"No!" I almost shout. "Not the treehouse."

The treehouse is mine and Edward's place. It's sacred. I can't share it with Ben, not like that.

"What are two doing tonight?"

He knows my thoughts have moved on to the boy next door with a girlfriend—the boy who still owns a rather large piece of my heart.

"To fish at the little beach, I think."

He says nothing. Instead, he takes my hand in his and brings it up to his lips. It's the same way Edward did it less than an hour ago.

"It's starting to get harder to share you, even though I know he doesn't get to be with you like I do… at least at night."

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

He's breaking one of our rules.

"We're not supposed to talk about that," I remind him.

I really wish he'd just stop talking altogether and kiss me.

"Sorry."

I lean over to press my lips to his and feel him relax as he smiles against me. When I lean back, he's grinning. His hand grazes the side of my face, and his eyes look deeply into mine. "You really were incredible to watch today. I'm going to have to think of an excuse to come watch you again without it seeming weird. You wouldn't care, right?"

"Of course not. My dad's so thrilled I want to practice at all that he'll probably let you guys take me over to the mainland whenever I want to now."

"Really? Because I'd like to take you into town for a proper date sometime."

My smile doubles, and then so does his.

I'd actually like that very much too. Getting to experience the real world together during the daylight hours sounds like a perfect way to spend an afternoon away from everything and everyone else.

Realizing this scares me.

Ben seems to notice.

"It's happening. Slowly but surely, you're falling for me, Little Swan."

I roll my eyes.

He's being ridiculous, but he isn't entirely wrong. Ben's starting to become someone I find myself thinking about often, especially when there's no one else around to distract me.

Admitting this, for his ears to hear, is a terrible idea, though.

I change the subject instead.

"We shouldn't stay up here too long. Someone's going to come looking for us soon."

"You mean Edward will come looking for you." He pulls me onto his lap, kisses my lips, and deepens our embrace. "Feel free to come by my window later if you get done fishing before sunrise. I'll leave it cracked open for you."

I can't help but smirk. "No promises."

He nods, and I pull him with me when I stand.

"You go first. I'll leave in a few minutes," he softly prompts, slowly walking us toward the door. His hands are at my hips, and his chin is resting on my shoulder. His lips are right beside my ear, sending goosebumps across my body with every breath he takes.

He turns me around, kisses my lips one more time, and then holds onto the tips of my fingers until I'm out of reach.

I'm smiling again.

I'm smiling so unbelievably hard that my face literally hurts.

Once outside, I run toward the clearing by the treehouse. The land there is flat, and the ground is soft.

My plan is to practice some of my layups from my floor routine.

The only time my mind is able to truly shut everything else out is when I'm throwing my body into the air.

It took Edward's random surprise to remind me of that, but now that I have an antidote, I intend to use it.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

* * *

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

A few days pass. Life is good—not perfect, but good.

It's Thursday night, and we all decide to meet up at the line of trees to head into the woods together to walk over to the tiny beach for our own youngling bonfire.

As per usual, our sole purpose is to get away from the adults.

Edward and Emmett lead the way at the front of our line. I'm bringing up the rear all by myself, thinking about the conversation Edward and I shared earlier in the day.

During lunch, he told me he'd have a surprise for me tomorrow.

He just needs to pick it up when we're on the mainland.

My head's been spinning ever since, trying to figure out what it might be.

I bite my fingernails when Ben suddenly slows his pace to be shoulder to shoulder with me.

Once we're side by side, he slows us down even more by casually pulling at the back of my tank top.

"Heads up. I finally talked to Ri. She totally bought the prank story Jasper told her. If she says anything, it was mud and worms in your sneakers."

I stifle a laugh and nod my head.

We start moving again, and I notice Edward turn around.

He's looking for me.

Our eyes meet, and he smiles. Then he looks over at Ben.

His smile slowly fades.

Now I'm feeling anxious.

I've actually noticed him noticing Ben and me more and more lately. Or maybe that's just my ever-growing guilt pulling me under. Who knows? What I do know is I've sensed a change in him, and it's been bothering me the last couple of days.

When we finally get to the beach, Edward makes it a point to purposely stay back, joining Ben and me at the end of the line.

"You two sure are moving slow tonight."

I shrug and bend down to remove my sneakers from my feet. As soon as my shoes are in my hands, I start to step through the sand, leaving them both behind without saying a word.

Emmett's already stacking wood in the small fire pit and striking a match to get it lit. I drop my bag into the pile with all of the others and take my usual seat on one of the long logs across from him.

Seconds later, Edward sits down beside me.

He grazes the top of my hand and gives me a crooked smile and a wink.

Heidi sits on the other side of him and starts to talk to us about her trip into town today.

She went shopping.

She bought new sunglasses.

They're black.

The way she keeps looking at Edward, inching closer and closer toward him, is bothering me.

I don't get much time to dwell on this, though, because Emmett and Ben are now slinging flaming wood chips at each other in an apparent attempt to reenact a scene from _Game of Thrones_.

My eyes glance over, and I see Jasper sitting all alone with Alice, smiling like I've never seen before.

That's when I notice they're holding hands. The sight causes me to smirk and shake my head. The two of them are clearly lost in their own little bubble. It's actually kind of adorable to witness, but I'm still going to make fun of him for it later.

Edward bumps me with his shoulder, then taps my bare foot with his. "You wanna go in the water?"

"Sure." I pull my shirt over my head, slip out of my shorts, and tie my hair up into a messy bun before crossing my arms in front of me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see both Heidi and Ben also getting ready to join us in the water.

Jasper and Alice are still happy in their bubble—we all know better than to disturb them—and Irina's talking with Rose closer to the fire pit where they've stuck some marshmallows onto twigs.

I link my arm with Edward's, and we start to head down to the water. Ben and Heidi follow closely behind. When my toes reach the surf washing up onto the shore, I let out a loud squeal and start to jump in place, flailing my arms out at my sides.

"Jesus! It's friggin' cold!"

Edward laughs and shakes his head. "Come on! Don't be such a wimp."

The next thing I know, my feet are being lifted up out of the water and Ben's carrying me into the calm ocean. I'm screaming and smacking his back hard with my hands until he submerges us.

While we're under, he makes it a point to grab at my hips, then steadies me upright again as we come up to the surface together.

His mischievously wicked grin causes my stomach to tie itself into a brand-new knot.

I smack his chest, then glare hard in his direction. "You ass!"

"Aww, come on, Little Swan! You should be thanking me. I just saved you ten minutes of inching your way into the water."

He's treating me just like he used to last year, but there's something about the look in his eyes that makes it all so much different.

If we were alone, I'd likely be kissing his face and wrapping my legs around his hips.

We don't get to experience those kinds of moments, though, not the two of us. All of our moments have to be spent behind closed doors three nights a week.

When Edward and Heidi finally reach us, I send a hard splash of water Ben's way, and through clenched teeth, I warn him to never do anything like that again.

He smirks and splashes me back, then sends another wave of water toward his sister, hitting Edward in the process.

After a back-and-forth water war, we settle down and I start to float on my back, staring up at the night sky. I can hear the three of them talking, but their words are muffled because my ears are submerged.

Someone pokes at my shoulder three times.

I lift my head and then find the sand with my feet.

"What do you say, Bella? Camp out tonight on the beach?"

"Huh?" I'm confused.

"Ben said he'd go get the tents with Emmett. I'm sure our parents won't care. They're all wasted, anyway. It's a perfect night, and we'll be together. They can't say no!" Heidi insists, looking extremely excited about these plans of theirs.

"Yeah. I'll go by your house and talk to your mom and dad with Em," Ben tells me, hiding his devious smirk.

I'm no dummy.

He's obviously attempting to steal my night alone with Edward by instigating an all-nighter for the group.

"Sure. Whatever you guys want to do."

Ben smiles and swims past me, but not without pinching my bottom first and also sneaking me a wink.

When I look over at Edward, he's silently pouting, staring off into the distance.

He really isn't looking too thrilled over this beachside slumber party idea.

I feel bad, but we get what we get. We don't complain.

Heidi lets out a random shriek, and she's suddenly leaping into Edward's arms. My first instinct is to grab her by the hair and pull her off of him.

Thankfully, I stop short and somehow manage to keep my hands under the water.

I silently count down from ten to calm myself and then take in a deep breath. It's a trick our family therapist taught me.

I find myself using it often these days.

"Something touched my foot!" She drops her arm over his shoulders, keeping herself against him. My counting isn't working. This forces me to roll my eyes and fall back dramatically into the water so I won't actually open my mouth and call her one of the many names I now have running through my head.

When I come up again, Edward's damsel in distress is heading up to the shore.

He's smirking in my direction, reaching out for me.

"I asked her to get me a bottle of water." He grabs at my hand from under the water and pulls me closer toward him.

"I'm sure she'd kiss you if you asked her to," I mutter, then start to float beside him.

The water is eerily calm tonight. It's almost as if we're swimming in a lake and not in the ocean.

Edward comes closer, and I find myself holding my breath.

His hand is at the swell of my back, lifting me further up out of the water. It makes me feel like I'm floating on air.

Everything's so quiet.

So peaceful.

Perfect.

A slow grin spreads across my face.

When I open my eyes again, he's smiling down at me with the most beautiful expression I've ever seen.

He loves me.

I can absolutely see that.

He's never actually said those words to me before, but he loves me so much.

"Want to share a small tent tonight?"

"I don't think that would go over very well with the rest of the chuckle patch crew," I answer, turning myself upright again to face him in the water.

His hands find mine, and it takes everything in me to not to hold him the same way Heidi did just moments ago.

I look toward the sand and see the fire is burning strong. Rose and Irina are walking the shoreline picking at the sand, but Jasper and Alice are nowhere to be seen.

"Jasper and Alice are gone!"

Edward smirks and nods. "I saw them sneak off right after we got into the water. I think he's going to make his move tonight."

"Shut up! Why do you think tonight?"

"He asked me for tips earlier."

Now I'm laughing hard.

"Please tell me you told him to close his eyes and keep them closed."

"Of course I did! You only make that mistake once."

I giggle again, remembering the time I peaked and caught Edward doing the same.

We both wound up on the floor, laughing hysterically for a good couple of minutes that night at the top of the treehouse.

It's a forever memory I revisit often when we're back home and I'm away from him.

"Ben and Heidi want to come with me to watch you at the gym on Friday. Will your dad care if we all go?"

"No, he won't care. If Emmett comes, he might even let us all go alone."

Edward looks excited about this possibility. "Maybe you and I could get ice cream or something afterward, like a normal couple."

I narrow my stare and bite my lip to keep myself from stating the obvious—the obvious being that we're _not_ a normal couple because his other half is back in Chicago.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah," I snicker, then move a little further away from him.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Move away from me when it gets harder to be close to me."

I roll my eyes and let out a huff. I'm not in the mood to play these games.

"Heidi's almost back with your water." He turns and sees I'm right. "She's a good little do girl. You really should ask her to kiss you. You'd make her summer."

"Stop."

I smirk and shrug my shoulders, wishing we could have three more minutes alone together.

When Heidi reaches us, she hands Edward his bottle of water and then moves in as close as humanly possible without actually hanging onto his body.

Girl has zero shame.

I refuse to stay here and watch this, so I take off to the shore and leave them both behind.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

* * *

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

An hour and a half later, we have two big tents and one smaller tent set up in the grass at the edge of the sand.

It's been decided that Edward, Ben, Heidi, and I will take one of the bigger tents; Emmett called dibs on the solo tent; and Rose will be in charge of Jasper, Alice, and Ri in the other big tent.

I'm inside shaking out my sleeping bag when Ben comes in to help me with the others.

After he positions his own bag beside mine, I raise my brow and place my hands at my hips.

"What? You're lucky I'm not putting it _between_ you and Edward like your dad told me to do."

I laugh at this bit of information and let out a low sigh. "Just... Please behave."

"I always do, Little Swan." He taps my nose with his index finger, then pinches my cheek and slyly winks before walking away.

Once I finish what I'm doing, I sit down by the fire pit next to Ri and Rose, who are now looking through a fashion magazine together.

 _Boring_.

"How was your freshman year, Bells?"

"It was okay," I answer Rose. "Nothing exciting."

"Meet any cute boys?"

"A few," I reply, smirking. I lean back onto my arms and dig my hands deep into the sand. I grab some of it into my fists and squeeze, then shift my weight after Edward and Heidi join us with a bag of pretzels being shared between them.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"All of the cute boys Bella met last year," Rose answers Heidi, obviously looking to get under her younger brother's skin.

He only rolls his eyes.

"I had a boyfriend last year. We fooled around a lot," Heidi decides to share, purposely glancing over at Edward to smile and bat her lashes.

Again, he rolls his eyes.

This time, it makes me smirk.

"Well, Edward's girlfriend is a good little preacher's daughter, so you know he hasn't been getting any."

Edward kicks at his sister's shin, and she pulls her leg up into her chest with a calculated grin. "What? It's the truth!"

"Shut it, Rose."

 _Yes, Rose. Please shut it._

Ben and Emmett are throwing around a glow-in-the-dark football, but when they see us sitting together, they set it down and come over to join in.

Without even thinking, I scoot over to make space, and Ben takes the spot next to me.

My hands are still buried deep under the sand. A few seconds later, I feel Ben's fingers discovering mine. My body stiffens, and my eyes go wide, but no one else seems to notice.

No one except for my brother.

Jasper's glaring hard in our direction.

I slowly sit up, pulling my hands from under the sand, then fold them together in my lap.

Ben does the same but also makes it a point to bump me with his shoulder once he's upright.

Someone is _not_ behaving.

Thankfully, Edward's too busy tracing patterns in the sand with a stick to notice what's taking place next to him.

"Who's ready for some ghost stories?" Emmett's asked after lighting a cigarette and exhaling a large cloud of smoke.

I'm tempted to reach over and take one from his pack, but with Jasper already sending me daggers of death from across the fire pit, I decide that would be a bad idea.

Maybe later after everyone goes to bed.

My coach would kill me.

But he's also not my coach anymore, so there's that.

We all move closer together for story time, and I lean my head on Edward's shoulder without thinking twice.

He responds by leaning his own head against mine, and just like that, all is right in the world.

I can breathe.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

* * *

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Two hours later, when we all settle into our sleeping bags and the space around us quiets down, Edward clicks off the last flashlight and I close my eyes.

I've got Ben to my left and Edward to my right, with Heidi on the other side of him.

We opted to keep the tent door open at my request.

I like being able to turn my head to see the moon's reflection over the ocean, especially since I have a feeling I won't actually be able to sleep anytime soon.

This entire setup is beyond awkward, and my heart has yet to find its normal pace.

Edward's hand slides into my sleeping bag to rest over mine, and he begins to rub circles with his thumb. It soothes me, but it also prevents me from being able to completely relax.

A few minutes go by, and I roll over onto my side, which causes him to scoot even closer to me. With his shift, he also brings his arm completely over my body to pull my back up against his chest, holding me tightly as if it's the most natural thing in the world for us to do.

I open my eyes and see Ben looking right at us.

Actually, he's glaring.

He's glaring hard.

 _Really_ hard.

I mouth the word "stop," and he rolls over onto his back to stare at the roof of our tent, tugging at his hair in frustration.

My eyes close again, and I plead with my brain to shut off.

Nothing works.

I can sense Ben moving restlessly beside me.

He's tossing and turning, huffing and sighing.

This goes on for another thirty minutes, but no one else seems bothered by it. Heidi's barely moved, and Edward's clearly fast asleep against me.

I open my eyes once more, and Ben's looking at me again.

He sits up a little and nods toward the opening of our tent.

I shake my head at first, but he presses his hands together as if he's about to say his bedtime prayers.

When I move a little, it causes Edward to release me. He rolls over onto his back with his hand making its way under his head to use as a makeshift pillow.

Ben smirks and nods again, then carefully pulls back his sleeping bag to get up and leave me behind.

I lie there and think this over.

After making up my mind that it's a _terrible_ idea, I shimmy my way out from under the sleeping bag and crawl onto the grass on all fours.

Ben's waiting and holding his finger to his lips, reminding me to be quiet.

He grabs a towel from one of the logs by the fire pit, then starts to walk toward the water with me following closely behind.

Once we're near the surf, he stops and lets out a frustrated huff. "Sorry. I needed to get out of there."

"I could tell."

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"I can't sleep either."

He smirks, then lays the towel down in the sand where we can sit together. Our toes touch the water, but our bottoms don't actually get wet.

When a few minutes go by with neither of us saying anything, his fingers find mine and then his foot buries my own in the damp sand.

I flinch at first and quickly look behind us.

"They wouldn't be able to see this from over there," he softly tells me, as if reading my mind.

"Jasper kissed Alice tonight."

"I heard. Another Cullen lands a Swan. Let the world rejoice."

I push his shoulder with mine, then squeeze his hand. "Don't be like that. He waited all year for that moment."

"I can relate."

"Ben."

"Sorry. I told you it's getting harder."

I honestly can't even imagine what he must be feeling, but he's known from the beginning that my heart belongs to the boy with a girlfriend I can't kiss this summer.

We were supposed to have an understanding.

This is us.

It's supposed to be fun.

Exciting.

Our own secret adventure that only we know about.

It's not supposed to turn into anything more than that.

Even though I might've started to feel _more_ , especially when I catch him looking at me or when he's holding me in his arms and no one else is around.

Still, this is us.

It's how it has to be.

"A little over two weeks to go. Once you're back home playing football, making all the other girls scream your name from the bleachers, I'll be a blurred memory," I toy, hoping to make him smile.

He doesn't smile.

"I don't want any other girls. I want you. I want you to be only mine, Bella."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want to hide us anymore. I don't want to keep sharing you. I want you to be my girlfriend, and I don't care who knows."

* * *

 **A/N:** If you've read my other stuff, then you know I kind of love a good cliffy.

Jasper finally kissed Alice *awww*!

Edward and Bella in the water all alone *sigh*.

Ben's given up on behaving.

And what will she tell him?!

Heads up, it's going to be a little longer for the next update. It shouldn't be more than two weeks though. Life and all that Jazz.

 _ ****** Reviews make me smile**_

 _As thanks, I'll share the first Edward POV with you..._

 _Someone's starting to wise up._

 _Since its going to be a bit of a wait for the next update,_

 _I'll also include an_ unbeta'd teaser _from the next chapter,_

 _If we're FB friends you'll be able to find the teaser over there as well._

 _Those will go out a week from today._

 _***If you haven't checked out **Roadies** , please do! It's something I'm writing for the **Babies at the Border Fiction Compilation.** If you don't know what that is, you can find out more information in the A/N of that story.***_


	7. Coming Clean

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 _ **A/N:** Back again! Thank you for being patient with this one, and I'm sorry it took me a little longer than I'd planned to reply to all of the reviews, but if I missed yours please let me know. Many thanks to my beta, MariahajilE, and my pre-readers, Myonlyheroin, and BPLemons. I adore those girls like whoa! ;) _

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 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 6**

 **Coming Clean**

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Sleep didn't happen last night.

Not for me, anyway.

After walking back to the tents, I sat alone at the fire pit until the birds began coming to life, letting me know the sun was about to grant us a new day.

Ben refused to let me give him an answer while we were down on the beach. He asked me to think it over for a day or two because he knew if he demanded a response right then and there, I would've told him no.

I would've also told him he was insane.

Even Edward and I have always known better than to believe we can return home and remain faithful to only each other.

It seems absolutely crazy to me that Ben would want to attempt a long-distance relationship throughout his senior year of high school, especially when he's the starting friggin' quarterback for his school's football team.

My head's spinning, and my hands hurt from clenching my fists as I try to make sense of my life and how I've managed to get here in only four-weeks' time.

Emmett finds me sitting in the tent all alone, hugging my knees to my chest, and staring off into nothing.

He lets out a low whistle. "Jesus, Little Swan. Did you sleep at all?"

"Not much." There's no point in lying. It's clearly all over my face, and he would've called me out had I tried.

"Maybe you should skip going over to the gym today. You look like hell."

I drop my head onto my knees and let out a loud sigh. He sits down and gives me a light shove. "I hate seeing you like this. For what it's worth, I really thought my brother would've come to his senses by now. I don't know what his problem is."

"He must really like her," I answer him, even though I can barely finish a complete thought.

"Maybe, but not as much as he _loves_ you."

With his words, I break and cover my face with my hands, letting my sobs take complete control of me.

"Shit. I didn't mean to make you cry!" Emmett wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him, then gently begins to rock us. "Come on. Stop that. I can't handle female tears."

"It's not supposed to be this hard," I get out. "When we're here, it's all supposed to be easy. Those… Those are the rules."

"Babe, nothing about growing up is ever easy, no matter where you are or who you're with. You have to learn to take the punches and straighten your shoulders after each and every blow. Figuratively, of course. If anyone _ever_ lays a hand on you, you better tell me right away, because I will fly my ass to Vegas and kill them."

I laugh through my tears and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. "I'm just tired. I think I'm going to head back to the circle and get some sleep before we head into town."

"I think that might be a good idea. I'll tell Ben to walk with you."

"No!"

Emmett jumps at the sound of my sudden distress.

"I… I just want to go alone."

He narrows his eyes, studies my face, and then slowly nods his head. "Go get some sleep. We'll meet you at the boat around 11:40."

"Okay. Thanks. Just… Just tell everyone—"

"Don't worry about them. Go take care of yourself."

I gather my things and then slip my shoes on.

Emmett stands up first and offers me his hand. "I'll talk to Edward. He's being stupid. We only have two weeks left. He needs to pull his head out of his ass and _carpe_ the _diem_."

I force one last smile and shrug my shoulders. "We get what we get."

After leaving the tent, I head toward the trees to sneak into the woods before anyone else can notice I'm gone.

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There's a knock on my door just as I finish getting dressed.

After returning home, I managed to get in almost three hours of uninterrupted sleep.

At the very least, I can finish a complete thought now.

I call out for whoever's on the other side to come in and continue brushing out my hair before pulling it up into a ponytail.

When Jasper's head appears, I let out a sigh of relief that it's not Mom or Dad.

He comes in and closes the door behind him, then takes a seat on my bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. Why?"

"Ben and Edward got into a fight. I figured you knew it was coming and that's why you took off."

I pause at my dresser and turn to look at him. "Nope. I just needed more sleep. What was their fight about?"

It's not rare for the guys to get into little arguments.

Just because it happened, it doesn't mean it involved me.

"I don't know. I was down in the water with Alice. Ben took off afterward, and Edward walked back to the circle with Heidi and Ri. Emmett had already left, so I stayed back to kiss Alice some more."

Now I'm rolling my eyes. "How was it?"

"We're getting better at it."

I laugh and reach over to hit him with my pillow, "There's a learning curve," I tease. "I'm happy for you, though. Congrats on making it happen. That's a big step, little brother."

Jasper frowns and sits up straighter. "I saw you with Ben on the beach after we all went to bed. I'd gotten up to go pee in the woods."

"We were only talking."

My brother presses his lips together to keep himself from opening his mouth.

I appreciate that.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend." The words come tumbling out before I can stop myself.

Jasper laughs and belly flops forward onto my bed. "We go home in two weeks, but he wants to be tied down to you all year while he's in New York and we're in Vegas?"

"I know. It's… He's absolutely insane."

My half-dazed response causes my brother to narrow his eyes and stop laughing. "You like him, don't you? Like _really_ like him."

I throw my hands up and fall onto the bed beside him. "I don't know. I mean, I do, but I… I'm still always thinking about Edward when I'm not thinking about Ben. That can't be normal."

"You've never been normal, Bella."

My brother's right.

Normality is something I strive to avoid, especially when it comes to major life-affirming choices and decisions.

It's how I keep my parents on their toes.

"Emmett will kill Ben if Edward doesn't do it himself."

Again, my little brother's right.

This time, it annoys me.

"Edward made his choice when he chose Charlotte over me. If he hadn't done that, whatever this is between Ben and I would never have happened in the first place."

"Something tells me Edward won't see it that way."

"Something tells me I don't care."

Jasper laughs and starts to stand up. "You've turned into quite the liar this summer, sis. You _do_ care. You just don't want to admit you've gotten in over your head."

Now I'm throwing my pillow at him again.

Thankfully, Jasper runs from my room and finally leaves me alone. I walk over to my closet and slip my red Converse on.

I can almost hear my dad's voice in my head, reminding me how every choice made is a choice that matters, both short and long-term.

A loud sigh pushes past my lips and I fall back against my bed again.

It looks like this afternoon will be filled with awkwardness. That's my fault to take and make my own though because I'm the one who created this mess.

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The ride over to the mainland is quiet, except for the motor and sound of the waves as they crash against the hull of the boat.

As predicted, my parents have allowed me to go without them again, with Emmett as our chaperone and Edward, Ben, Heidi, and Rose tagging along.

From the time Edward greets me on the dock until we part ways in front of the gym, he seems preoccupied but still adamant on holding my hand.

When he takes Emmett's cell phone and tells me he's going to make a quick call, it all makes sense.

Charlotte's been on his mind.

That's why he's being so weird.

My heart aches over this realization, but I refuse to let it last too long this time.

Once inside the gym, I slip into the locker room to take off my street clothes and put my hair into a tight bun.

I can feel my anxiety rise as soon as I glance at my reflection in the mirror.

On top of looking like death, I also have an audience today.

All of this is making me nervous.

I splash some cold water on my face, then jump up and down in place several times in an attempt to shake my anxiety.

Nothing helps.

I should've expected Ben to be waiting for me outside of the door, but the sight of him still causes me to jump.

His eyes meet mine, and he smiles as he steps closer to take my fingertips into his. "Is everything okay? You left this morning without saying anything to anyone."

"I'm fine. I never got any sleep last night. I needed my bed."

He grins. "Or maybe you just needed the right person to hold you while you slept."

My shoulders fall with his words, and a slight smirk slowly spreads across my lips, but then I remember my talk with Jasper. "What did you and Edward fight about this morning?"

Ben's smirk doesn't leave his lips. "You."

 _Damn it._

"What about me?"

"He was flirting with my sister. I told him he needed to make a choice about who he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with. He didn't like that too much."

I seriously doubt Edward was actually flirting with Heidi, but to Ben, I could see how it might've come across that way.

"It's cool. I've been telling him all summer to just kiss her and get it over with so she'd stop chasing him around like a sad little puppy dog."

"We can meet up tonight, right?"

He obviously doesn't want to talk about his sister and Edward anymore.

I sigh and nod. "Yes, and I'll try to give you my answer then."

Just as I complete my sentence, Edward comes rushing through the doors. Seeing him causes me to pull my hands away from Ben's and cross my arms.

Edward doesn't even seem to notice I'm not alone.

His eyes are looking at only me.

He looks so… happy.

Ridiculously happy.

"I did it!"

I can't help but laugh at his excitement, "You did what?"

"I finally talked to Charlotte! I broke up with her!"

My heart suddenly stops, and the room tilts off its axis. I'm literally reaching my arm out to hold onto something.

 _Did he just say...?_

"You… You did what?"

Edward steps closer, and Ben pushes past him with a huff to go into the main gym, leaving us behind to finish our talk, but not without slamming the door.

My eyes follow him, but my feet remain still.

"I've been trying. Every time I'd come over here with my dad or Emmett, I tried. She'd never answer her stupid phone, though. Today she finally answered after I sent her a text on Em's phone that it was extremely important we talk, or I'd assume she was dead and move on with my life."

"You've been trying? All this time?"

His stare softens, and he slowly nods. "Since the second day we've been here."

I'm going to throw up.

"But why didn't you tell me?"

I'm so lightheaded.

I need to sit down.

This is all too much for me to take in and accept as truth.

Edward takes both of my hands into his and sighs.

My bottom lip begins to quiver. I suck it between my teeth and search his face for answers.

"It seemed pointless. I knew it wouldn't change anything for you, not until it was really done and I could tell you it was done. Not until she and I were 100% over. Stringing you along and waiting for it to actually happen just didn't seem right, or fair."

I want to punch him.

"We can be together now, like a real couple."

Heavy tears begin to well up in my eyes.

Edward Cullen's getting in my head minutes before I should be warming up and focusing on not breaking my neck.

"I'm so sorry it took me this long, but we were still having fun, just like we always do. It wasn't a total waste. I almost feel like it was good for us in a way. We spent more time talking and just being together this summer instead of only making out all of the time up in the treehouse."

I'm beginning to feel like the lowest form of scum.

He's right, though. We spent a lot of time talking over the last four weeks, and all of that talking managed to make me feel even closer to him, in a much deeper way.

The door opens again, and we both look over to find Bree.

"Bella, are you coming? We should be warming up! Coach Cora said she has a surprise for you!"

"Yeah, I'm coming." I wipe my fresh tears and then shake my arms out at my sides after letting go of Edward's hands, "Give me a couple of seconds."

Bree sends me a thumbs-up and rushes back into the gym without saying anything else.

Edward steps closer. He drops his hands to my hips, looking me in the eyes. "I expected you to be a little more celebratory about this."

I shrug and let out a nervous laugh. "It's just… I haven't really processed what it means yet."

He smiles and reaches up to wipe away some of my tears. "We're going to a movie after this. I already cleared it with your mom and dad before we left the island."

 _So that's why they were being so weird._

"A real date. Just me and you." He brings me in to hug my body tightly against his. I close my eyes, willing myself to maintain my composure and not give in to the panic attack that's starting to pull me under.

"Bella?"

He knows me well.

I'm being too quiet.

Too still.

He's worried.

"I should get inside." My hands wipe at my cheeks, and I shake them out at my sides several more times. "They're waiting for me."

Edward looks hurt and confused, but I don't know what else to say to him right now because I'm feeling confused and even a little hurt myself.

He whispers a soft "okay" and then takes my hand in his to escort me into the gym.

When we cross through the doors, he doesn't let go. In fact, he increases his grasp even more until it's time for me to walk across the floor to join Bree.

"I'll be watching."

I smile and nod just as he leans in to kiss my forehead. My toes clutch at the soft mat beneath my feet, and the pace of my heart quickens as I watch him walk away.

When my eyes find Ben, he looks as though he's on the verge of exploding.

Now my heart feels as though it's being squeezed to the point where I can barely breathe.

"Bella, are you okay?" Bree pries, breaking me from my slow-spinning downward spiral.

I suck back a quivered breath and force a firm nod. "Yeah. I'm good. Let's stretch."

I'm in a side-split position, reaching for my right toes next to Bree when I sense we're no longer alone.

My head looks up, expecting to see only Coach Cora, but then I notice there's someone else with her.

When our eyes meet, I shoot onto my knees, stand all the way up, and take two steps backward.

It's him.

Felix.

Coach Felix.

He's here.

"I hope you don't mind, Bella. I reached out to your coach to find out more about your training regiment, and he offered to fly in for the day to help us go through some of your routines. He's eager to get you back on track to qualify for Worlds this year."

"Hello, Iz."

Coach Felix reaches out to hug me.

His hands linger too long, and his mouth rests right beside my ear. "I've missed seeing your face. It's so nice to see you dressed out with some chalk on your hands."

I force a smile, but my knees are trembling.

Again, I feel like I might throw up, though it's for an entirely different reason.

His left-hand stays at the swell of my back, and he slowly turns me around to address Coach Cora and Bree.

The last time we were together, I was the drunkest I've ever been, but I still managed to run away when he cornered me in my dorm room on our last night at camp.

Running's not an option this time.

My eyes jet over to where my friends are sitting, and I feel my bottom lip begin to tremble when Felix's hand starts to rub up and down my back.

Now my entire body's shaking.

Ben's on his feet with his fists clenched at his sides.

He's clearly figured out what's going on and who this stranger is.

I take a step away from Felix when my summer secret suddenly leaves the viewing area to stomp across the cushioned floor.

Ben's eyes are on fire, and his shoulders are squared. "Are you him?!" he growls.

Felix looks absolutely blindsided by his attack. "Excuse me?"

"Are you the creepy coach who's been trying to sleep with her?!"

"Ben, please!" I manage to get out after stepping between them. "Don't!"

He's not listening to me.

I pull at his arm to hold him back, but nothing helps.

"Who the hell do you think you are, coming here like this?! You almost ruined this sport for her! She finally gets brave enough to come back, and you show your scumbag face here and put your hands on her again! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

When he's done yelling, Ben throws a punch, but Felix moves out of the way and only smirks in response.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, kid." My coach snickers, before briefly smirking in my direction.

"Ben, you need to leave! Right now!" I demand, firmness and anger finding its way into my tone.

He looks confused and then unbelievably hurt. "But—"

His sadness is crushing me, but my unbridled panic takes over. "Just go! This has _nothing_ to do with you!"

His eyes flash with further confusion and return with rage after he glances back over at Felix.

Everyone else joins the chaos right as Ben turns to run from the gym, except for Rose who follows after him.

Cora steps between Felix and me, then takes me by the arm to slowly pull me away from him. "What's this all about, Bella?"

Felix gives me a look. It tells me everything I need to know. I'm to keep my mouth shut… or else.

"Nothing, ma'am. It's all a big misunderstanding," I softly get out, avoiding her eyes by keeping my stare on my bare feet.

When I look up again, my former coach smirks and nods his head with approval.

"Some boys get jealous when their girlfriends start to spend every waking hour at the gym with an older guy," he lightly quips, resting his hand over my shoulder to bring me back over to him.

Edward glares, likely in reaction to the insinuation that Ben's my boyfriend.

"He— He's just my friend, not my boyfriend."

Felix squeezes my shoulder several times. "That's my girl! Better not get distracted with that nonsense, anyway. You need to stay focused on your training. Now, get back to stretching. We'll start with the bars since it's your favorite."

I do as he says and gesture to my friends that they should go back to their seats.

Edward doesn't move.

I can tell he's going to need some kind of verbal reassurance that I really am okay before he'll be able to calm down.

"Can I have two minutes, coach?"

Felix looks over at Edward and then back at me. "Seems you've been a busy girl this summer, Miss Swan." He takes a few more seconds to consider my request. "Fine. Two minutes."

I take Edward's hand in mine and instantly pull him across the gym to go out to the lobby where we can be alone. Emmett and Heidi start to follow us, but I just as quickly stop them. "Please! Just give us a minute. I'm fine. Promise."

They don't believe me.

"Seriously, I mean it. I have two minutes! Edward can explain everything to you guys when he comes back."

When Coach Felix says I have two minutes, he means it.

As soon as we're alone, Edward lets go of my hand. "That's the coach you don't like."

I nod and take a step closer to him. "Yes. That's Coach Felix."

"Was he touching you? Back in Vegas? What was Ben yelling about?"

"No! I mean… It's complicated. Something started to happen, but I stopped it. I'm fine now. I can handle it. He's only here today, and we won't be alone."

Edward's nostrils flare, and his face turns red. His fists are clenched at his sides. "And then what happens when you go home in two weeks?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead," I admit with a sigh. "I'm starting to miss my team."

"Bella! He's, like, thirty!"

"He's twenty-four!" I snicker, crossing my arms defensively. "His parents own the gym I've been going to since I was five. They've been friends with my parents forever. If people find out back home, it'll ruin everything. Please! I'm begging you. Let me handle this the way I've been handling it."

It actually surprises me he's not asking why or how Ben even knows about any of this.

It's obvious he's only thinking about me right now and what all of this actually means in terms of fucked-up bullshit I've had to deal with on my own.

"Let's go, Iz. Two minutes are up!"

I turn to look at Felix standing in the doorway and glare in his direction.

"Jesus Christ! I'm coming!"

"Excuse me?!"

I straighten my stance and glance at him again, then look back down at the ground. "Yes, sir."

When my eyes find Edward again, he's back to breathing fire. "We're not done talking about this."

"I figured as much."

"We should just leave, Bella. I don't like any of this."

I shake my head and start to move past him. "No. He needs to see he doesn't scare me."

Edward sighs and starts to follow me back into the gym.

He knows it's pointless to argue.

After I make up my mind about something, that's it; there's no way to force me to reroute.

My feet take me across the mats, and after stretching some more, Bree and I start our rotations.

I assume Edward's filled Emmett in because he looks more and more irate with every minute that passes.

Heidi, however, looks as though she's enjoying herself rather thoroughly at this point.

Ben and Rose are still MIA.

"Your form's a damn mess, Swan! This is what happens when you disappear for almost three months! When you get home, we're doubling up six days a week until school starts again—morning, noon, and night!"

I cringe at the sound of that, but I nod obediently before attempting my last tumble pass across the floor once more.

This time, I land it a little more gracefully.

This time, I find a reason to smile.

Felix instantly runs over to pick me up in a giant hug before spinning me around as he laughs.

"That's my girl! See? Sometimes, all it takes is a little pressure to get you to where you need to be." I can't help but think there's an underlying message there, but I refuse to let that show on my face.

"You can put me down now."

"Can I?"

I glare, and he finally sets my feet on the floor.

Just then, the doors to the gym swing open, and I see my parents standing solemnly with Ben behind them.

 _He did not._

Dad looks like he's ready to kill someone.

Mom looks like she's been crying.

I watch Dad's eyes find Felix and feel my anxiety instantly rise.

When Felix turns to notice them, he grumbles something under his breath before he takes a pointed step away from me.

 _This can't be happening._

 _Not like this._

I run to meet them by the door and do my best to act normal, because normalcy is actually what I need most right now.

"You guys didn't have to come all the way over here."

"No, I think we did, Bella."

I look past them at Ben, but he's purposely avoiding my stare.

My mom leaves us and begins to march over to where Felix is now talking with Cora and Bree.

She's never been one to waste time.

My feet run after her, and I grab at her arm. "Mom, can we _please_ talk about this somewhere else? Not here. Not in front of everyone."

She turns to look at me with both fire and sadness in her eyes. When she sees the panic on my face, her stare slowly softens and she squeezes my hand. "Why didn't you tell us, Bella?"

I look down at the floor and shake my head with embarrassment. "If I'd said something, he would've just denied it. I would've messed everything up for everyone," I whisper, tears beginning to find their way to my eyes. "It didn't seem worth it. I didn't want to become that girl everyone whispers about."

It's my best version of the truth—a version my parents can handle, because it's the version that's kept me from losing my mind over these last couple of months after I'd walked away from my team.

Nothing really had happened, aside from soft touches, a few gentle kisses on the cheek, and some highly inappropriate, sexually suggestive conversations, with lingering hands and fingertips, usually following his words.

Up until the last night of camp... that had been the worst of it.

When I look up again, I see Felix making his way toward us, but he's avoiding my eyes.

Memories of that night begin to come at me with every step he takes.

My heart starts to beat heavily against my chest, and my breathing begins to lose its pace.

All of my friends are watching in disbelief by the door.

I see Ben talking with Edward.

Neither looks happy.

Both of them look like they're ready to charge forward at any minute.

"We need to talk, Felix. In private," my father loudly demands. His obvious rage sends a chill down my spine.

"Yes. It appears there's been a huge misunderstanding between your daughter and me, which she's apparently chosen to share with some of her friends. Let's go clear the air. Coach Cora said we can use her office to talk."

My head's spinning again.

So much spinning.

More forgotten memories of that night flash before my eyes.

Him locking my door, and walking me to my bed… the tips of his fingers stroking my bare skin and touching my hair while he'd whispered all of the things he wanted to do to me.

My lunch is threatening to come up.

I have no idea what I'm going to say once the four of us are behind closed doors and I'm put on the spot.

I wasn't exactly innocent.

At least not at the beginning of it all, before I realized what was starting to happen and how wrong it actually was.

I'm going to kill Ben.

This is all his fault.

He never should've gone and narced.

He just broke one of the biggest rules we have on Prima.

I glare at him as I walk away with my parents. He's no longer angry. He only looks sad, broken. His puppy-dog eyes make me want to hate him even more. He grimaces and looks away.

"We'll get Bella home. You guys can go enjoy the rest of your day," my dad calls out to the group.

They look at each other, but nobody moves.

We're gone before they are, and once inside the office with the door closed, I take a seat between my parents. Felix sits against the desk directly in front of us, refusing to look me in the eyes.

"So, first, let me just say I'm thrilled Bella's decided to return to the team."

I don't know why he keeps saying this. I still haven't made up my mind about what I'll do when we get home. Returning to the team's not a priority. Not anymore. Not if he's going to be there.

"We've purposely left her spot open over the summer in hopes she would come to her senses once she'd gotten this break of hers out of her system."

Dad hasn't heard a word Felix has said.

"Have you been touching my daughter?"

"Pardon me?"

Felix seems appalled by my father's question.

He's good _._

"You can't actually believe that, Mr. Swan. Our families have known each other for years. I've known Bella since she was five! If she honestly believes anything inappropriate ever happened between us, she's confused."

I leap up from my chair and glare in his direction. I'm not about to let him call me a liar in front of my parents and keep quiet.

"Yeah, I guess getting me drunk during spring break and then asking me if I've ever sucked a guy's dick before putting my hand in your pants is totally appropriate!" I roar before shoving him.

"Isabella Swan, control yourself!"

My mother looks mortified.

Dad stands and grabs Felix by his shirt, then lifts him up off the ground to slam him into the wall. "You son of a bitch! Is this true?!"

My coach laughs nervously and adamantly shakes his head. "That's not what happened. Some of the girls snuck some alcohol into the dorms at camp. I found Bella roaming the halls on the last night, and I took her back to her room. She was the one who approached me, but nothing inappropriate happened between us. I can assure you."

That's not at all what happened.

It's _all_ coming back to me now.

Yes, some of the girls snuck a couple of beers in, and yes we'd all shared a few between us, but I was barely buzzed when he found me walking back to my room for the night.

Once we were there, he was the one who pulled out a flask filled with vodka.

He was the one who pressured me to split a few shots with him while we sat on my bed together.

He was the one who locked my door and forced my hand after kissing my lips.

It doesn't take me long to realize this really is going to be his word against mine.

"Bella, were you drinking at camp?"

If I lie about this, they'll know, and then they'll think I'm lying about everything else.

"Well, yes, but..." I pause to find my next words. Everything's a jumbled mess in my head. I already feel defeated, and I've barely even begun. "It doesn't matter. This is all being blown out of proportion. Coach Felix is right. He never actually touched me. Can we please just leave it at that?"

Technically speaking, up until that last night at camp, it _was_ always my hand that would touch him… under his guidance, of course, but still. It was always me.

The last thing I want to happen is for this to turn into some huge scandal that takes over the news back home. It could destroy my gym's reputation and the team I've been a part of since I was seven.

I just want to continue forgetting it ever happened and move on with my life.

Ben never should've said anything to them.

I was doing absolutely fine, handling this all on my own in my own way and on my own terms.

Coach Felix claps his hands together and starts to relax his stance. "Well, I'm glad we could clear this up."

Dad takes a step back.

He and mom are still glancing back and forth between me and my coach. It's obvious they're trying to make up their minds over what's fact and what's actually fiction.

"Can we please go?" I finally question when no one says anything else.

Mom links her arm through mine and begins to move us toward the door, but dad stays behind. "I'll meet you both back at the boat. I want to talk to Felix alone."

I grimace, but I know there's nothing I can do to change his mind, so I continue to walk out with my mother.

From the office, we go into the locker room so I can change.

No words are shared between us.

I can see the anguish on her face. She's hurting over this.

Deep down, she knows more happened than I'm willing to tell.

Once outside, we continue to walk in silence all the way to the docks. There's so much I want to say, but producing the actual words is impossible.

I just don't want her to feel like she's failed me, because she hasn't.

I knew it was wrong, what was happening, so eventually, I ran. I want her to know that, but saying it out loud will only keep the conversation alive.

That wouldn't be good for anybody.

"We'll find you a new gym."

"Mom—"

"No, Bella. I understand— I… I know why you don't want to make this a big deal, but it _is_ a big deal. If he did what you said he did, even if you think you encouraged it in some way, it was wrong. You're too young. He… He took advantage of you, and he betrayed our trust. I won't send you back to that gym if he's there, but I also won't let you quit doing something you love because of this."

This is surprising.

I'm at a loss for words.

We both notice my dad walking down the dock, but once he's on the boat, he says nothing.

It's obvious he's still fuming and processing all of this.

My hand reaches out to grab his, and he looks down at me with tears in his eyes.

Seeing this causes me to crumble, and he wraps me in his arms. "We trusted him. I'm so sorry, Bella."

"It's not your fault, Dad," I manage to get out through my sporadic tears. "I trusted him, too. Things just started to change. It happened so fast." I attempt to explain what I can as I hug him. "I don't want this to ruin the gym's reputation, though. Jessica and the rest of the team would never forgive me."

"We talked. He's agreed to step down and leave the team so you won't have to. His parents will know the reason why, but I told him it'll stop there with us and he is to never make contact with you again."

Now I'm crying happy tears.

"Thank you!"

He increases his grasp around me and lets out a loud sigh. "You can always come to us about anything, Bella. If anyone ever does anything like that to you ever again—" I can hear the heartache in his words, but he's trying hard to hide it.

"I'll be ready for it, and I'll knee them in the balls," I quickly interrupt, a forced smile on my face, hoping it might help them both relax.

Dad smirks for a second, but it's gone just as quick. "It's been hard for us to accept you're not our little girl anymore, and we need to start asking the harder questions."

"Well, I'm not little anymore, but I'll always be your little girl."

Now he's smiling. He hugs me once more, then lets my mom take over so he can start up the boat and untie the ropes.

The relief I feel can't be put into words.

Having it all out in the open is like breathing after holding my breath at the bottom of the ocean for a ridiculously long time.

All the betrayal and rage I felt toward Ben is suddenly gone.

He's gifted me a clear conscience and peace of mind.

He's also given me the opportunity to return to the gym and team I love.

My thoughts are running rampant, reviewing the past four weeks and all of the moments Ben and I shared when we were all alone—all of the smiles and laughs, all of the stolen looks and inside jokes. All of the times his lips had kissed mine.

Before I know it, we're back at the island.

My heart is racing. I know I have to find him.

I have to apologize for the way I treated him and how I reacted when he tried to come to my rescue today.

"Is it okay if I go find Ben? I'll come back to the house right after I talk to him."

Mom and Dad share a look.

They've caught on that Edward hasn't been the only boy on the island that's been keeping me company this summer.

"Go ahead." Mom sighs. "Be home by 5:00 for dinner."

I take off running before she even finishes her sentence.

My legs carry me up the hill, and I pass the fire pit that's burning, though no one's around.

I know they're all back because the other boat's here.

I see Heidi and Ri sitting on their porch and greet them with a crooked smile.

"Bella! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Coach was a creep. He's fired. Life is good. Where's your brother?"

"Well, at least he was a super cute creep!" Heidi mocks once I'm standing on the porch with them.

I roll my eyes and wave my hand in the air. I don't have time for this.

"Ben? Where is he?"

Heidi smirks while sharing a look with Ri. "He said he was going to go lie down, so I guess he's in his room."

Irina starts to say something, but her older sister quickly shushes her by placing her hand over her mouth.

"You can go check, _if_ you like."

I rush past them without even thanking them.

Their parents use the main boat every Friday with Mr. and Mrs. Cullen to scuba dive, so I already know they're not home.

As I approach Ben's door, I can feel the pace of my heart quicken.

My smile starts to rise at the corners of my mouth, and my insides feel like there's a swarm of butterflies taking over.

Ben's been my rock this summer. He's one person who's always been there for me, even when I was thinking about being with someone else.

My answer will be yes.

I will be Benjamin Tori's girlfriend.

He's won my heart.

It's his to take.

I don't even bother knocking on his door. My hand reaches out to turn the knob, and I step inside.

The curtains are pulled, and the room is dark.

I freeze when I find him on his bed.

My breathing stops.

With it, so does my heart.

Ben isn't alone.

Rose is on top of him.

Our eyes meet, and he quickly pushes her away.

"Shit. Bella!"

When he starts to grab for his shirt, I turn and take off running.

He keeps yelling for me to stop, but I don't.

Stopping isn't an option.

Heidi's holding the front door open for me, smirking with her arms crossed in front of her.

If I didn't have tears streaming down my face, if my heart hadn't just been ripped from my chest, I would've stopped long enough to make her bleed.

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* * *

 **A/N:** _Another cliffy, but it shouldn't be more than a week before the next update, *wink*._

 _Lots to digest here, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts. I realize the way Bella's parents have decided to handle things might not sit well with some readers, but... it is what it is. Even adults can make the wrong choice sometimes._

 _How do we feel about Edward having spent the last four weeks trying to break up with Charlotte in secret before he finally succeeded?_ _Did any of Ben's actions surprise you?_

 _So much heartache, but it was bound to happen sooner or later, with so many hearts in the game._

 ** _**I'm itching to write Ben's POV from this chapter,_**

 ** _but I'll hold off until the next one._**

 ** _For this chapter, as thanks for sharing your words with me in a review,_**

 ** _I'll give you a peek inside Edward's head while he's talking with Charlotte on the phone_**

 ** _and when he goes to find Bella,_**

 ** _via an outtake with my reply, as well as a teaser from the next update.**_**

**NGES now has an amazing banner thanks to my friend Ceci, aka LP82. You can see it as the cover for this story, here on FFn. *heart*

 _Thanks so much for reading!_


	8. We Get What We Get

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

 **A/N: _Real quick, I think FFn might have glitched with the last update because I got quite a bit more guest reviews than usual. I can't reply to guest reviews, so if you left a review but didn't get the Outtake please let me know._**

 _ **Major thanks to my beta,**_ **MariahajilE** _ **, and pre-readers Myonlyheroin, and BPlemons who I'd also like to wish a very happy birthday!**_

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 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 7**

 **We Get What We Get**

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My legs carry me as fast as they can over the pebbled walkway.

Going home right now isn't an option.

If my parents see me like this, they'll demand I tell them what's wrong, especially after everything else that's already taken place today.

When I reach the woods, I continue to run without slowing down. My hair keeps sticking to my face from all of the tears that won't stop falling, but I don't even care anymore.

I've been so stupid. This is my fault. I'm the one who let this happen when I started to let Ben into my head and my heart.

Everything I'm feeling, I deserve it all.

When I finally make it to the rocks, I strip down to my bra and underwater.

I rush myself to the edge of the jagged cliff and leap without looking or even taking in a deep breath.

Toes down.

Arms at my sides.

Eyes closed.

My body sinks, and my feet touch the sand at the bottom of the ocean. I let out all of the air from my lungs, tasting the salty water in my mouth, and I sit there against the sand as its tiny grains swirl up around me.

I stay there for as long as I can until my chest feels like it might actually implode.

As soon as I break through the surface again, I gasp for air and let out a scream. Then I close my eyes to sink back under.

I do this several times until I notice there's someone standing at the shore watching me.

When Ben starts to get into the water with all of his clothes on, I begin swimming in the opposite direction.

"Bella, stop! Jesus! Please talk to me! Where are you even going?"

He's right. It's pointless for me to keep swimming, especially if he's going to continue following me down the beach.

And then what? I can't exactly walk back to the circle in my underwear, not without making a scene.

"Please! I can explain! It's not what you think!"

I turn to glare at him. Now I'm angry.

"You don't need to explain anything!" I shout back. "There's nothing to talk about!"

Now that I've found my voice, I have the courage I need to make my way to the dry sand and face him.

Ben seems relieved.

He even has a towel waiting for me.

It's almost as if he knew exactly where I would run to and what I would do once I got here.

I hate that he knows me so well.

I never should've allowed that to happen.

His hands hold out the towel, and I snatch it from him and then wrap it around my trembling body.

Even though the sun is beating down on us, I'm freezing. My teeth are chattering so hard I can literally feel it deep in my bones.

That's when I notice I'm not breathing at a normal pace.

Not at all.

Ben looks worried, but when he moves toward me, I jump away from his touch.

He sighs heavily and shakes his head. "That back there, what you saw, it was a mistake. Rose and I, last summer… We—"

I can't take this.

He needs to shut up before I lose my mind.

"Stop! It doesn't matter, Ben! I get it. I was moving too slow for you. Plus, we're not even like a _thing_. You're free to do what you want, with whomever you want, whenever you want."

He scoffs at my words and grabs at my shoulders. "No, Bella. You _don't_ get it!"

My eyes stare past him. I shake my head and pull away from him to tug at my hair. I can feel my tears fighting to break free all over again, but I can't imagine I have anything left to give.

"Look at me, damn it!"

I flinch but find his eyes.

There are tears in his stare.

The sight of his own heartache and distress shakes me.

It causes me to hold my breath all over again.

"Don't pretend you were going to choose me over _him_ ," he finally whispers, his voice breaking with his last word.

I let out a sob. "I was, though. That's what I came to tell you. I _was_ choosing you."

His brows narrow in disbelief, and his eyes begin to reverently scan every inch of my face, searching for the truth.

"No. That's a lie."

"It's not a lie! I was going to tell you yes, that I fell for you. I love you. It happened, just like you'd said it would. I didn't realize it until thirty minutes ago, but then I did realize it, and as soon as we got back, I ran over to tell you, but… I was already too late."

He shakes his head several times and squeezes my arms with his hands. "It's not too late!"

"I just walked in on you about to have sex with Rose!" I cry out, yanking my arms free from his grasp again.

Ben grimaces and looks away, tugging frantically at the back of his neck.

When he remains silent, processing my words, I start to head toward my clothes. He follows after me and pulls at my towel to stop me from moving any further.

"We were _not_ about to have sex. I wouldn't have let that happen. I just needed a minute to come to my senses. She came home with me when we got back to the island. She knew I was upset about what happened at the gym. She thinks it was just because of that creep messing with you. I didn't tell her we… that I… that me and you… we were—"

"It doesn't matter, Ben."

"Stop saying that! It does matter, Bella! Edward dumped his girlfriend! He did that for you! Then you were so mad at me for what I did, for going to get your mom and dad. I betrayed your trust. I could see it on your face. You hated me! You wanted to kill me! Rose… She just thought she could make me feel better."

I almost laugh, but somehow, I manage to hold it in. "Well, by all means, don't let me keep you from getting back to Rose so she can _continue_ to make you _feel_ better."

My hands pull my shirt over my head, and I tug it down in front of me, then start walking away from him with his towel still wrapped loosely around my waist.

"So that's it? We're just done? I had to watch you all summer with Edward, waiting patiently for my turn, but all it takes is you seeing me with someone else _one_ time, for _three_ stupid seconds, and we're through?"

"I never kept anything about Edward and me a secret from you!" I shout back, spinning around with my finger pointed in his direction. "You, on the other hand, you never _once_ mentioned you were also hooking up with Rose on the side!"

"Because I wasn't! It wasn't like that. We had a thing last summer. That was it until fifteen goddamned minutes ago!"

My head's all over the place and my chest is starting to hurt.

In all honesty, this was probably for the best, me catching them in his bed like that...

I was foolish to think we could actually leave here and have a relationship once we both returned to our homes on opposite sides of the country.

This is our easy out.

Our inevitable.

"It was fun while it lasted, Ben. I'll never forget this summer and everything we shared together."

I want to sound strong and absolute, but my voice trembles with each and every word.

He growls loudly, picks up a rock from the ground, and chucks it as hard as he can deep into the woods. "Damn it! Why are you being so stubborn about this?! You just told me you've fallen in love with me!"

"Because everything happens for a reason. I was about to make a choice that would've changed everything for everyone, not just you and me. Seeing you with Rose made me pause long enough to realize it was the wrong choice for me to make. Sometimes there are just no good choices, and when that happens, it's better to walk away. This is me accepting that. I'm walking away."

"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!" He scoffs.

I close my eyes and shake my head. "It's just… It's better this way."

Ben takes my hands in his, refusing to let me move away from him when I start to leave.

"You don't mean that."

I search his tear-stained eyes and slowly nod as my bottom lip begins to tremble. "I do mean it."

His shoulders fall, and I watch him silently fight with himself to let me go.

I don't look away this time, because I now know this might be the last time I'll see him until next summer.

When I get back to the circle, I'll ask my parents to take me home.

Home to Nevada.

My summer's over.

I want no more of this.

My heart has had all it can take.

I'm exhausted.

Done.

Damaged and broken.

Edward won't understand, but that doesn't matter. Not to me. Not right now.

For my own sanity, after everything else that's happened today, the right choice for me to make is to go and not look back.

"Eventually, you're going to see, Bella, that we belong together. I did a stupid thing, but it doesn't mean we're done. Not forever."

Fresh tears begin to fall, but I wipe them away, straighten my shoulders, and slowly exhale. "I'll see you next summer, Ben."

With those final words, I pull my hands from his. I kiss his cheek one last time, then take off running through the trees to head back toward the circle.

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By the time I get home, I've managed to settle down and my lashes are no longer drowning in tears.

I take in a deep breath, shake out my arms, and then go inside, determined to hold myself together.

Mom and Dad are sitting on the couch doing a puzzle together, looking perfectly content and happy with life, and here I come, changing all of that for them, twice in twenty-four hours.

"Bella! What on earth happened to you? You look like you ran through a hurricane! Why are your clothes all wet?"

"I want to go home."

They freeze and sit back against the sofa, then glance at each other before returning their gaze to me.

"What's happened, sweetie?" my dad asks, walking toward me with obvious concern on his face.

"I want to go home, and I want to start training again right away."

It's the perfect cover.

My team needs me. I need them.

"There's no time to waste. If I want to go to Worlds this year and place, I have to get back home with my team."

"We can take you over to the mainland to work with Cora as much as you like. Your team will wait for you, Bella. There's no sense in—"

"No!" I shout, my body beginning to shake. "I want to go home!"

They share another look but say nothing.

I'm on the verge of losing control. I can feel myself beginning to crumble all over again. "Please. I just _need_ to go home," I whisper, clutching my hands together to my chest.

"Okay," Mom finally replies. "If that's what you really want, I'll book us a flight for tomorrow morning."

" _No_! That's not fair! I don't want to leave!"

Jasper's been eavesdropping from the hall.

I let out a sigh and throw my hands up into the air. "I can go back by myself and stay with Jessica. I'm sure her parents would have me. We can go over to the mainland right now and call them," I plead, fresh tears beginning to fall from my eyes.

"Let us talk it over. We'll figure something out that's fair for everyone."

I huff, knowing it's pointless to argue and then turn to leave the room, avoiding my brother's glare. Jasper follows after me. I do my best to slam my bedroom door in his face but fail.

"What the fuck happened?!"

I turn around, my eyes wide over my brother's use of the actual word "fuck" with our parents right downstairs.

"Heidi said you got caught messing around with Felix. Is that true?!"

"What?! No! That's not what happened." My body falls backward onto my bed. I rub at my eyes with the heels of my hands and take in a deep breath before slowly letting it all out.

With my voice shaking, I start from the beginning, including everything that happened with Felix, then get to what went down today in town when he showed his face, and wrap it all up with me finding Rose in Ben's bed.

Jasper looks as if he's about to explode.

I've never seen him so angry in my life.

His face is red, and his knuckles are white.

I'm not even sure he's breathing.

It kind of warms my heart.

I let out another sigh and look away to start picking at the fray that lines the comforter of my bed.

He drives me crazy a lot of the time, but he's a good brother.

He doesn't deserve to have his summer with his first kiss cut short all because of me.

"You're right. You shouldn't have to leave too. Don't worry. I'll get them to call Jessica's mom," I softly insist after looking over at him.

His shoulders relax. "Well, I mean, I have to stay because I'm going to kill Ben. I need to devise a plan first and then dig his grave in the woods. That's going to take some time."

I laugh and let out an impulsive sob, allowing my emotions to get the better of me. "No," I whisper. "It's okay. It's honestly good. We were never going to be something that lasted. I was stupid to let myself think otherwise, even if it was for only a few minutes. This is the right choice for me to make. It was supposed to happen this way."

Even I don't believe my own words, so I can only imagine what he's actually thinking.

There's a knock at my door. It slowly opens.

Mom leans against the frame and smiles when she finds Jasper and me actually getting along.

"Edward's downstairs. He's asking to see you."

My heart twists itself into a brand-new knot, and my body stiffens.

Fresh tears begin to well up in my eyes. Forming actual words... _impossible_.

"What do you want me to tell him, sweetie?"

I glance over at my brother, silently wishing he would leave us to talk in private.

He lets out an exaggerated huff, mumbles something about plotting his revenge, gets up, and closes the door on his way out.

Once we're all alone, my mom comes over to sit beside me.

She lets out a sigh, and reaches over to rest her hand on my shoulder, then gives it a loving pulse before pulling me in for a hug.

"You've had an unbelievably rough day. You're feeling very emotional right now, and we understand that. Your dad and I… We think it might be best if you take tonight to really think about what you're asking. In the morning, if you still want to go home, I'll book us a flight. Your father will stay here with Jasper."

I can't imagine changing my mind, but I slowly nod and agree to her terms. Tears begin to fall, even after I close my eyes in an attempt to keep them locked away.

Mom sighs and increases her hold around me. "Heartbreak is hard, Bella, at any age, and it can find you at any time, especially when you least expect it. I don't know what happened this summer between you and Ben, but I want you to know that the hurt you're feeling doesn't last forever. That part will get easier, and you will fall in love again."

 _So they've figured it all out._

My body goes limp, and I bury my face into her shoulder. "It hurts so bad."

She hugs me and then smooths my hair down at the top of my head. "I know it does, sweetie. I just wish I could tell you this will be the last time it will hurt this bad. Boys will always be assholes until they're ready to be leashed and trained. Even then, they'll still have their moments. At fifteen, you've got a ways to go, unfortunately."

I wipe at the bottom of my nose and let out a quivering laugh. "How old was Dad when he was ready to be leashed?"

"Oh, he's still a work in progress most days."

Mom and I share a soft smile between us, and she hugs me again.

"You should talk to Edward. He's worried about you. I'll give you a few minutes, and then let him up. If it helps, you can tell him we're the ones forcing you to go home."

That would help a lot, actually.

Now my own parents are offering to be my fixers.

This is officially the most surreal summer of my life.

I nod and take in a deep breath, then slowly let it all out while shaking my arms down at my sides. She gets up to leave me and gently shuts the door after glancing back one last time with a forced smile.

My body falls against my mattress, and I rub at my eyes, willing my relentless tears to stop.

I'm honest to God not even sure what I'll tell Edward.

Over the summer, I've gotten to be pretty good at twisting the truth.

He'll believe anything I say because he has no reason not to.

I'm a terrible person.

I deserve everything I'm feeling right now... and more.

How much would be too much, though? How much will he understand without getting angry and never wanting to speak to me again? If I lose him completely, I don't know how I'll be able to go on. I can't even imagine wanting to go on. It just wouldn't be possible. Not without him.

I hear a soft knock on my door.

I close my eyes and pull my pillow over my face.

Seconds later, I hear the door open and close, then feel him take a seat beside me on my bed.

"Hey, you."

I don't move the pillow. I don't even open my eyes. I can't bring myself to look at him.

He clears his throat and shifts his weight to be closer beside me. "I just… I wanted to come be with you, to make sure you were all right. It's okay if you don't want to talk."

I slowly move the pillow from my face and find his sad eyes. I roll over to hug my body against his, pressing my head into his chest so I can listen to his heart beating beneath me.

This will calm me.

It always does.

We lie there for over an hour.

I know it's been an hour because I've watched the clock on my nightstand change with every minute.

When I sigh, he reaches up to start stroking my arm with his fingertips. His gentle touch causes me to fracture all over again.

I can't hold it in any longer. "I'm going home tomorrow."

Edward sits up, bringing me with him.

"What?"

He won't understand if I tell him it's my choice.

It's obvious.

I can see it in his face and hear it in his voice.

"My parents... They're making me go home."

It's a needed lie.

One more fib to save what's left of our summer without poisoning everything else.

"They can't do that!"

He looks so panicked, so confused.

My heart is feeling so heavy again. I'm holding my breath and it's starting to hurt, but my lungs refuse to give in.

Edward stands up and begins pacing my room, grabbing frantically at his hair.

"They can't make you go home now! We still have two weeks left. We can finally really be together!"

I shake my head and look away from him.

This is tearing me apart, but deep down, I know it's the right thing for me to do.

"We have tonight together," I whisper, staring down at my feet.

I still can't bring myself to look him in the eyes. It all hurts too much.

"Maybe my parents can talk to them."

He's not listening.

"No, Edward. I messed up. Now I have to face the consequences."

He stops pacing and kneels down beside me at my bed, "But you said nothing happened with your coach."

As much as I want to tell him about Ben, I can't do it.

That would hurt him even more.

Using Felix is another easy out.

I let out a rushed breath and close my eyes. "At the beginning, I did things to encourage him. I got in over my head, and then I locked it all away because I wanted to forget."

It's another partial truth.

An easier sell without actually lying.

"That's bullshit! He's the adult, Bella! He never should've let those things happen. Damn it! I knew there was more you were keeping from me. I should've made you tell me at the beginning of the summer!"

He's trying to take the blame from me, which is ridiculous. It's not for him to take.

"You… You told Ben, though, when I didn't make you tell me. You told him."

He whispers those words, and I see the hurt on his face deepen.

He's already starting to put the pieces together.

"It just slipped out one night when we were talking. I didn't mean to tell him," I try to explain.

"One _night_ when you were talking."

 _Yup_.

He knows.

He's not going to force me to confirm anything, but his suspicions are there.

After seeing the profound sadness in his eyes, I begin to feel like I'm drowning in his stare.

"I don't care. I don't care what happened between the two of you while I was being a dumbass. None of that matters. I just… I don't want you to go, Bella."

He's lying. He does care, and I'm crumbling all over again because it matters to me. Not to mention there's so much he doesn't know, but I would never say any of that out loud. Not to him.

The last thing in the world I want to do is make him hurt the same way I'm hurting right now.

"Can we just not talk about it? Let's take tonight and make it ours. Let's make it count until next summer when we can start all over."

At first, he says nothing, but I can see him thinking hard.

He's not ready to give up. Not yet. Not on us.

"Okay. Fine. Me and you… I'll have Emmett keep everyone else away. Meet me at the treehouse after dinner tonight."

I can read him like a book. I already know he's going to use tonight to try to convince me to stay.

It's a hopeless mission, but I would never deny him the opportunity to at least try.

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Dinner's quiet.

Mom made my favorite—chicken pot pie—but I barely touch it.

I've snuck some vodka into my Sprite. It helps pass the time while the four of us sit at the table and pretend everything's okay, that this is just another normal family meal laced with unbearable silence.

"I'm going to meet Edward at the treehouse for a little while. Then I'll come home and pack my stuff," I tell them as I start to stand up to clean my plate. The three of them share a look, but neither of my parents tells me I can't go.

I'm sure, deep down, they're hoping Edward will be able to talk me into staying so we can finish out our summer together.

It's unfortunate I'll still be disappointing them come sunrise, but we get what we get, and we don't complain.

After running upstairs to grab my flashlight and sneakers, I call out a goodbye, then head out the front door. I stop at the pebbled walkway and notice Ben and his family down by the fire pit. They're roasting marshmallows together.

Our eyes meet, but I quickly look away and head into the woods, praying he won't follow me.

At this point, he should know me well enough to realize where I'm going and who I'll be with.

The sun is just starting to set in the distance. If I hurry, I'll be able to see it fall below the horizon from the top of the treehouse. With that realization, I quicken my pace.

I reach the clearing and see there are already a few lights shining brightly up at the top of our wooden fortress high in the sky.

Edward beat me here.

For a moment, I smile.

I start climbing the ladder and then go up the next two levels without pausing to reach the very top room where Edward and I always meet when we want to be alone.

It's smaller than all of the other rooms.

There's really only enough space for the two of us to sit down and stretch out our legs.

He's set up a few lanterns, and there's even some music playing on a small speaker he's brought with him.

"Hey,"

I catch him by surprise. He looks over to smile at me, and with his smile, I feel my heart heal a little.

"You came!"

"Of course I did," I snicker after walking further inside. My legs take me to the window, and I watch the sun as it inches closer and closer toward the horizon just beyond the mainland. "I was trying to beat the sun," I tell him. "Looks like I won."

He moves behind me and wraps his arms around my waist to pull my back up against his chest. "Well, in that case, I'm glad it brought you here sooner." His words cause me to smile again, and I relax into his body.

"When do you have to be home?"

"They didn't give me a time," I answer, feeling his warm breath on my cheek. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, smelling the ocean air and bringing it into my lungs. I slowly exhale and then place my hands over his to thread our fingers together.

"You just had to come here with a stupid girlfriend," I whisper, purposely keeping my eyes closed.

"As of now, I can officially say that's the biggest mistake of my entire life."

I almost laugh, but instead, I feel new tears forming.

 _Don't you dare start that again, Bella Swan!_

 _Now is_ not _the time!_

"I brought us some soda and snacks. My mom made your favorite."

He releases me and bends down to pull out a bag of oatmeal cookies, and I feel my bottom lip instantly begin to tremble.

"Word got around about what happened at the gym with your coach. I didn't tell them. Rose did," he further explains.

I grimace at the sound of his older sister's name.

Deep down, I know I can't blame her.

She had no idea about Ben and me.

There's a part of me, though, that will likely forever hold a grudge. It's in my DNA. I just don't forgive easily. It's another flaw of mine Mom likes to point out from time to time.

"FYI, Emmett is planning an all-out war on your coach. He can't wait to get home and look the asshole up on the internet to dox him."

My eyes go wide with fear, "No! You have to tell him he can't! I just want to put it all behind me and move on. If people find out, it'll never go away. My team will forever be associated with that. They'd hate me!"

Edward looks frustrated with my pleas, but he inevitably nods and then promises me he'll tell his brother to leave it alone.

"Felix agreed to step down and stop coaching at the gym. I won't ever have to see him again. It's done. Over."

This is another white lie, though, because I'm sure I'll see him again since his parents actually own the gym, but I choose to keep that to myself.

The sun finally disappears, and the crickets get louder, competing with the music that's still playing from the speakers. Edward takes my hand in his, and he brings me into the main room where the stacked blankets are, then pulls me down to sit in his lap.

His chin rests against my shoulder, and goosebumps begin to form across my skin.

He notices and brushes his hands over the tops of my arms.

"You smell like booze."

"Huh. Glad my parents didn't notice."

"Bella..."

"What? I poured a little in my Sprite. I needed something to settle me down."

He moves me from his lap to look me in the eyes. "I don't like you drinking when things get hard. It's not good."

My stare narrows, and I shrug, not knowing what to say. It is what it is. I feel better this way.

"Things are always hard these days, but I don't always drink. I'm fine. Really," I try to insist.

Again, he grimaces and looks away after shaking his head. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't stopped writing to you... If I'd made you talk to me when we'd first gotten here—"

It's actually a bit annoying he thinks this is _all_ about him.

I keep that to myself, though. I don't want to fight tonight. Not with him.

"I'm fine, Edward. I promise."

So what if I'm fifteen and already turning to alcohol to numb my brain and bandage my heart? It works for my mom. Why shouldn't it work for me? Tricks of the trade, as my father would say.

"If you're fine, then why do you seem so anxious right now?"

It's a valid question.

I don't even realize it, but I'm literally rocking as I hug my knees.

All I want to do is reach out and touch him. I want to spend the rest of the night in his arms, listening to his heart while it beats beneath my ear, but at the same time, allowing myself to have those moments with him... it feels wrong.

"You weren't like this before."

"You had a girlfriend before. There were boundaries. Now, no boundaries. The rules have changed. It's making me nervous. Sorry."

The vodka has clearly found its way to my tongue.

Still, my words are true, and his smile is a bit more visible.

Edward sighs and moves in a little closer. "I was hoping I'd get to kiss you while you were sober."

"You didn't care at the beginning of the summer. What's so different now? You get what you get, and you don't—"

He shushes me by putting his index finger over my lips. "I'd _never_ complain. I just wanted you to remember it."

"Remember it?" I laugh. "I remember every single kiss we've ever shared, Edward Cullen."

Without wasting another second, he grabs me, pulls me to him, and presses his lips against mine.

 _Bliss._

This is what I've waited for.

All summer, I've dreamed of this very moment and wanted it more than anything else in this world.

His body leans in further, pushing me down against the blankets, and his fingers get lost in my hair, keeping his mouth against mine. Our kiss deepens with every pulse, and my hand grabs at the back of his neck to keep him right where he is.

Being with him is everything.

It's everything and so much more.

This isn't even about what happened between Ben and me, or how I felt after jumping from the cliffs this afternoon.

This is about me and Edward. It's about how I'm able to feel comfortable in my own skin when I'm with him, without any stupid mainland rules getting in the way.

He knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and while that's slightly terrifying, it's also comforting. It's comforting in ways I can't even put into words because there aren't enough words in the world to describe how he makes me feel when we're together, and not holding back.

My hands pull at his shirt, and he does the same to mine.

Seconds later, we're both topless, but my bra is still on.

When I reach behind my back to unfasten its clasp, he stops me with a nervous look in his eyes.

"No."

I pause and raise my brow.

I'm ready for this.

It's what I've been dreaming about since last summer.

I want to lose my virginity, and I want to lose it to him. Tonight.

"What do you mean no?"

My feelings are hurt.

My ego is bruised.

I thought this was what he wanted.

I believed he wanted me too.

"I… Can I just hold you? I don't want to rush this, and you're not exactly sober."

A sigh leaves my lips, and I nod. He rolls over onto his back and holds his arm open to me. I move myself over to rest my head under his chin against his bare chest, and he instantly wraps both of his arms around me.

Minutes pass, and I start to worry he's fallen asleep.

When I shift my weight a little, he increases his hold before speaking again. "Remember at the beginning of the summer when you said everything was changing and you didn't want it to?"

I nod my head against him. "Yeah. I remember."

"I see that now. I… I don't want things to change between us. I don't want you to change. I don't want us to change. We're perfect… just the way we are… as long as we're together."

A slow smirk spreads across my face. "Is this the part where you call me _Ponyboy_ and tell me to stay golden always?" I tease, hoping to make him smile.

I can feel his grin above me, even without looking up.

 _Success._

"I worry about you, Bella."

His confession causes me to snicker, but I don't sit up or move away from him.

He knows me well.

He should worry.

My head hasn't been right for months.

"Do you think your mom and dad would let me visit you this year? Maybe during winter break?"

The possibility makes me grin even more.

"If I keep my grades up, maybe."

Silence finds us after that, but it doesn't bother me, not with him. I'm at peace just being here in his arms, listening to his heart beneath my ear.

We can finally make out like crazy, but all I want to do is lie here with him as he rubs his hand up and down my back and kisses the top of my head.

This is all I need to make everything else go away because Edward is right… as long as we're together, we're perfect... and that's enough.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Will Bella stay, or will she go? Decisions, decisions. Did Ben's side of things sway your opinion of him, even though what he did was a bit of a dick move... Can you really blame him? I know for some Bella is probably annoying the hell out of you right now. She's 15 though, and if we've learned nothing else, she's the type to leap first in the moment, without worrying about where she might land._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts! The next chapter will wrap up their current summer *sigh* but boy is their next summer going to be interesting, *wink*._

 *****As thanks for leaving me your words in a review,*****

 **I'll share an outtake from Ben's POV right after Bella runs from his bedroom and he's left with Rose.**

 **It will offer a bit of a sneak peek for things to come in Chapter 8.**

 **(Because we can't leave the island without a little drama between Emmett, Edward, and Ben, amirite?)**


	9. Take It All Back

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** _So SO so sorry this one took me some extra time, between getting my four chapters turned in for the BAB compilation, a short vacay to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights and then a quick trip to TN for a wedding, my RL was nuts last month. Many thanks to my beta, MariahajilE. She's awesome and I'm so lucky to get to work with her. All the love to my pre-readers, Myonlyheroin and BPLemons._

 _Head's up, we get some Edward POV to close out this summer of their life. ;)_

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 8**

 **Take It All Back**

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

The plane jerks, sending me forward in my seat after the tires hit the tarmac. I sigh, keep my eyes locked out the window, and avoid my mom's stare as I bite down anxiously on my bottom lip.

I'm surprised by the fresh tears that sneak up on me when I lean down to grab my carry-on.

I don't know why I believed everything would be okay once I got away from Prima, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

If anything, I feel worse.

So much worse.

Mom and I get off of the plane without saying a word to each other. Our entire walk down to baggage claim, all I can think about is Edward's face when we pulled away from the dock back on the island.

It wasn't an easy goodbye.

It was probably one of the hardest we've ever shared, but I could tell he was trying his best to not make it any more difficult than it already was.

Ben remained up on the hill, watching from a distance with his sisters.

Our eyes met briefly, and he offered me a short wave, but I didn't return it.

That upset him. I could tell. Even from hundreds of feet away, I could tell. The look on his face haunted me our entire flight home.

Since landing, though, all I can think about is Edward and getting to our house to write him an email while I stare at his framed picture that sits beside the screen.

"Bella!"

The sound of my name being screamed from across the terminal causes my head to swing around with confusion.

I spot my best friend, Jessica, right away. She's standing on the other side of the security gate, jumping up and down like a maniac on Adderall.

"The Stanleys offered to pick us up. I figured it would be a nice surprise for you. Go say hi, and I'll get our bags," Mom shares, smiling. I nod and smile back, then run to meet Jess. I hug her with all of my might, and she kisses my cheek twice before taking both of my hands in hers.

"Woman! I have missed you so freaking much! Wait until you hear about my summer. I met a boy! His name is Tyler. He's older and amazing! So dreamy! And we got new team leos! They're also amazing! Black and gold! Finally! Crazy better from last year's. I was so excited when my mom told me you were coming home early!"

I do my best to smile at her unbridled enthusiasm, but I can feel myself failing miserably.

Jessica notices right away. She frowns and narrows her eyes. "Oh, honey. You don't look good. We need a girls' night. I'll ask my mom if you can sleep over."

"Actually, I'd really like to sleep in my own bed tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" I suggest with a nervous laugh.

Mom appears beside us and rests her hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Bella needs to get herself situated at home, and then maybe you can come stay over at our house tomorrow night, Jess."

And there it is.

The chains are back, and they've already been shortened by my mother's hand.

All it takes is our feet touching Nevada ground to make it happen.

 _Shocking._

Jessica frowns but lets out a sigh and nods her head. "Okay. Tomorrow night, then. I'll help you get unpacked. I can walk home later. Come on. Let's go! My mom's got the car parked out front."

I force a more sincere smile this time and pick up my bag, then link my arm with my best friend's. As we walk toward the exit, I take in a deep breath and slowly exhale.

I'm ready for normalcy and routine.

Predictability is exactly what I need.

Once I find my rhythm again, I'll start my countdown, and then things will begin to look up. I'll be able to breathe and focus on my life here, in the now, because that's what needs to matter most.

Today, not yesterday, or even the day before that.

The drive is quiet except for the adults in the front seats. When we get home, Jessica's mom drops us off at my house, and then her and Mom decide to go to the grocery store together to get a couple of things.

The fact that my mom's leaving me home alone with my bestie is shocking, but I'm not about to point that out because we need to be alone in order for me to fill her in about my summer.

As soon as we're upstairs and in my room with the door closed, Jess demands I tell her everything. "So, did Edward have a girlfriend? Was it like you feared, or did you finally get to lose your V card?!"

She already knows all about Edward and our less-than-normal relationship, though they've never actually met in person before. She lets me use her cellphone during the school year to Facetime with him, so in a way, she thinks of herself as our very own fairy godmother.

I sigh and fall back against the plush grey carpet in my room. "Yup. He had a girlfriend. Well, up until yesterday. So I do indeed still have my _V_ card fully intact."

"Wait, what? Yesterday? Then why the hell did you come home early? What happened?"

I sit back up with a huff and unzip my suitcase, then slowly start to take my things out. "It's a long story. Lots of things changed this summer—things that never should've changed—but they did."

I pull out two stacks of clothes, walk them over to my dresser, and then set them inside. Once those are away, I bend back down to unzip the top lining where all my underwear is stored. My hands reach in to grab as much as they can, but when I pull everything out, a slip of paper lands at my feet.

It's folded into a heart formation, and the words "For Little Swan Eyes Only" are printed right across the top flap in black marker.

My own heart twists itself into a brand-new knot, and I let out a low sob after picking it up and tracing the writing with my fingertips.

With my hands trembling, I slowly open the paper and hold it in front of me.

Fresh tears begin to form.

I already know it's from Ben.

Only he and Emmett call me Little Swan, and Emmett wasn't about to stick a heart-shaped note into my suitcase.

* * *

 _Dear Bella,_

 _Don't worry. I didn't touch any of your underwear. I asked Ri to sneak this into your bag for me right after I heard you were leaving. There's so much more I needed to say to you yesterday, but I knew you weren't ready to hear it. Since I won't be able to email you for another two weeks, I figured this was my best bet to get it all out before I change my mind and keep it all to myself for another year._

 _I came to the island this summer with you already on my mind, and then, when I was able to finally make you mine, even if it was in secret, you gifted me the best summer of my life._

 _For a few hours a couple of nights a week, my world was perfect, and that was because of you._

 _You made this summer one I'll never forget._

 _I messed up so bad. I know that. I blinked, and now I'll pay the price. I'll likely hate myself forever for hurting you, but know that if I could rewind and take it all back, I would do whatever it takes to make things right for us again._

 _I'm not giving up. I can't. I waited patiently during the daylight hours for my turn. I'll wait however long it takes until you let me back in._

 _It won't happen tomorrow, the day after that, or maybe not even next summer, but in time, you'll realize you've still been thinking about me. You'll miss me, and you'll wonder if I'm still thinking about you. I just want you to know I will always be thinking about you._

 _I'll love you forever, Little Swan._

 _Ben_

* * *

"Holy shit! Who the hell is Ben?! What's even happening right now?! Is this real life?!"

Jessica apparently took it upon herself to read over my shoulder.

My hands fold the note, and I stuff it into my pocket. I wipe my lashes clear of their traitor tears, then shake my head and close my eyes.

"I messed up so bad, Jess."

"Oh, honey, look at you. I think we have a hell of a lot more catching up to do."

My friend takes me by the hand and begins to walk me toward my bed. She sits us both down, leans over to grab a tissue from my nightstand, and hands it to me before placing her arm around my shoulder.

"Wait. Ben's the older guy, right? Edward's brother's best friend?"

I nod and wipe under my eyes several times with my tissue, then ball it up after letting out a quivering sigh.

"Yeah. He's a senior, starting quarterback on his school's football team and Emmett's best friend."

"Shut up right now! An older boy fell in love with you this summer? Oh, my God. What about Edward? Does he know? How did this even happen?"

My head and shoulders fall, and I slowly begin to fill her in from the very beginning.

I start with the way my summer on Prima began with a broken heart, which was made whole again by a secret that ended up becoming so much more for me when I couldn't be with Edward.

I leave out all of the Felix stuff, of course.

That's tricky.

It also makes my story seem a lot more heartless since it forces me to omit the main reason why Ben thought I'd chosen Edward over him in the first place, which was what had subsequently sent Rose into his bed and his lips onto hers.

I end my summer CliffsNotes with the night I spent in Edward's arms up in our treehouse.

I woke up in his arms, smiling as he held me against his bare chest after we'd finally shared our first kiss of the summer.

Edward and I walked back to the circle, hand in hand this morning, only to find our parents waiting for us by the firepit looking rather annoyed.

They didn't reprimand us, though.

They barely said a word, actually, and that was probably because of how sad we both looked when we came out from the woods.

"So, let me get this straight. Edward wanted you from the beginning, but you wouldn't have it because of Charlotte. And then Ben admitted he'd been crushing on you since last summer? You had two boys drooling over you, begging for your attention, but you still came home looking even more brokenhearted than you did when you left here? All because the boy you randomly fell for wound up in bed with someone else when you took a hot minute to make up your mind? Lord woman!" Jess pauses to take a winded breath. Her silence doesn't last long. "I'm still confused. Edward broke up with Charlotte, so why are you home? He's the one you wanted. Screw Ben!"

No matter what I say, she'll never understand, because I'll never be able to tell her the entire story in order for her to get it.

I just couldn't be there when Edward found out the entire truth about Ben and me, and I knew eventually he'd find out.

Heidi would have absolutely made it her mission.

"It was so much more than that, Jess. When I was with Edward last night, it was like everything made sense, we were perfect, but then everything was all the more confusing because, even though Ben hurt me, I still have feelings for the stupid jerk."

"So, you chose to run from the both of them because you couldn't choose only one?"

I let out an exasperated huff and then close my eyes again, falling back against my pillows.

"No, I would've been with Edward for the rest of the summer, but it would've torn me apart not being completely honest with him about Ben, and I know he would've picked up on the awkwardness between us each and every time he was around."

My bestfriends brow raises, "What if Ben hadn't bounced into bed with Rose? Who would you have spent the rest of the summer with?"

Her question causes me to pause.

I have to take a few extra seconds to think over my response.

Slowly, I begin to realize there's no right answer to give, and with that realization, I feel my heart start to hurt even more.

What-ifs don't matter here because what-ifs don't exist.

Ben _did_ bounce into bed with Rose, and in doing so, it gave me an out and sent me running. There was no coming back from that.

"If Edward hadn't come to Prima with a girlfriend back home, Ben and I would never have happened."

Jessica scoffs at my words and pokes my shoulder with her finger. "That doesn't mean the two of you weren't supposed to happen. Aren't you the one who walks around going on and on about everything happening for a reason? Saying destiny should never ever be ignored or muted? Edward might be your destiny, but it sounds like Ben became your reason to smile this summer."

I roll my eyes and drop my arm over my face to hide my frustration.

The phone rings in the hallway.

Normally, I'd let the voicemail pick it up, but for some reason, I feel the urge to answer it.

Jessica doesn't hesitate.

"I'll get it!"

She's gone before I can say anything to stop her.

I stand in the doorway, leaning against its frame after she lifts the receiver up to her ear, and then bite down on my lip after crossing my arms.

"Swan residence. May I ask who's calling? Oh. Okay. Let me see if she's in."

She mouths Edward's name, her eyes wide and her mouth in a nervous smirk, then holds the phone out to me.

I take a steady step forward and slowly bring it up to my ear. "Hey, you. Missing me already?" I manage to force out without completely losing it.

"You got home okay?"

I smile.

He's asking me a question he already knows the answer to, but it doesn't bother me.

"About ten minutes ago. What are you doing? Where are you?"

"We came over to the mainland for dinner. Emmett let me borrow his phone."

I can hear his brother shouting a loud hello in the background, and a truer grin emerges from my lips.

"Tell him I said hi."

"I do miss you, though. A lot. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet, but I miss you like crazy."

My initial happiness over the sound of his voice instantly deflates. I sigh, and my bottom lip begins to tremble.

"I miss you too."

Jessica swoons, and I show her my middle finger.

"Your mom must not be around." Edward laughs into my ear.

I can almost see his delicious grin when I close my eyes to picture it.

For a brief moment, I can breathe without it hurting.

"Nope," I eventually answer, still slightly grinning. "She ran to the store with Jessica's mom."

"Wow! I'm shocked she left you two home alone!" He knows exactly how rare this is. "Anyway, I wanted to let you know Emmett and I are going home too. My dad booked us a flight for tomorrow afternoon. Now that you're gone, there's really no point in me staying, and Em needs to start packing up for college."

This surprises me.

"You're just worried you won't be able to fend off Heidi now that I'm gone," I quip, grinning from ear to ear. My finger twirls the phone cord in front of me. My smile grows. I won't have to wait two weeks to start talking to him regularly again. From thousands of miles away, he's made my night.

I don't know why the thought of him being back in Chicago helps relax me. If I were to be totally honest, though, it probably has something to do with me worrying about him and Ben eventually going at it.

"Ha! You figured it out. Heidi's been circling ever since you left the dock."

His laugh is forced this time.

It's impossible to miss.

He's still upset our summer together was cut short, but he'll never be able to accept why it had to be this way, because there are truths I'll never be able to share.

Not without hurting him. And I didn't want to hurt him.

"I'll write you an email as soon as I get home. We can start the countdown and figure out when I can visit."

"I like that plan." My voice trembles with my response. I instantly hate myself for showing weakness, but it's too late to take it back.

"Remember, Bella, it was still a good summer. There were things I'd change, but the moments with you…" He trails off, and I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver all over again. "Next summer, I won't mess up. I promise. Honestly, I don't even think I'll date anyone at all this year."

Now he's being ridiculous.

"Stop." I laugh. "You'll need your practice, because next summer, I won't let you turn me down at the top of the treehouse once I get your shirt off."

Jessica's eyes go wide, and her mouth drops open.

"You'll wait for me, then?"

My smile raises, "Edward Cullen, are you asking me to remain a virgin for a whole 'nother year?" I taunt with a nervous giggle.

"I will if you will."

My best friend's now rolling on the floor beside my feet, covering her manic like laughter with both of her hands.

Just then, the alarm chirps and signals my mom's return. "I've gotta go. Write me when you get home!"

"Okay. I will. But you never said yes or no!"

"Yes, you dope! I'll wait for you. My virginity will be yours to take," I quickly snicker into the phone. "Now hang up. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I'm smiling so hard my face hurts when I set the phone back onto its cradle.

Jessica wags her finger in the air with a loud _tsk-tsk_ , and I roll my eyes as I shove her back into my room, closing and locking the door after.

"There's your answer! You're still head over heels in love with that boy! Edward made you smile in the _now_. Ben made you cry in the _now_. Always pick the boy who makes you smile, Bella! Always!"

"They both made me cry plenty this summer." I walk past her toward my closet.

Jessica sighs and does a handstand in the center of my room. "Meh. Not the same. You know I'm right. You might still have feelings for this Ben guy, but he's just a test drive. Edward will be the car you drive off the lot."

"Seriously?" I laugh, tossing a pillow in her direction.

Deep down, I want to believe she's right, but there are still so many questions and things I'm unsure of.

Once Edward does find out about Ben and me, everything could change again.

Until I find a way to come completely clean, so we can start fresh again next summer with no secrets between us, anything is possible.

* * *

Mom and I eat in front of the TV, picking at our salads while she enjoys her wine and scrolls through her phone.

"I talked to your dad. He told me Edward and Emmett are going back to Chicago tomorrow."

When I don't act surprised, I notice the look on her face.

 _Crap._

 _Busted._

"Um, Edward actually called while you were out. He told me they were leaving."

Mom nods and sips at her glass again just as the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" I jump up from the sofa after setting my salad bowl on the coffee table, then skip down the hall to open the front door without even checking to see who it is.

"Jake!"

"Hey! I heard you were back."

My eyes slowly narrow, and I shift my weight to the side, resting my hand at my hip.

The last time we were face to face, he called me a cocktease and told me he was done with my prude-ass games.

Of course, seconds before that happened, I'd already dumped him, so his words meant very little to me, even after I slammed the door in his face and cried into my pillow for two hours.

"I, um… I got you this." He pulls out a stuffed bear from behind his back, and with it, he gives me his devilish signature grin. "I'm glad you're back. I missed you."

I mumble a quick thanks and take the plush animal from his hands. My legs bring my body outside and my hands close the door behind me so we can have a few seconds of privacy before my mom comes nosing around.

"Wow. You're really tan."

"Yup. That's what happens on an island in the middle of the summer." I roll my eyes and lean against the wall keeping my stare set on his.

He steps closer and begins to trace my arm with his pointer finger.

"You had a nice time, then?"

I shrug and force a smile this time. "It was a crazy summer. How about you?"

"Mine's been pretty boring, but we still have three weeks left. I was kind of hoping you and me could make the most of it… together."

He flashes me a pack of cigarettes he's got hidden in his side pocket.

I let out a nervous laugh. "I shouldn't. I'm training again. Back to the gym tomorrow, bright and early."

"So what? That's tomorrow. Come be bad with me tonight, Bells. You know you wanna," he challenges with a devious smirk and wink.

I hide my own smile and let out a huff. "It's just me and my mom here. Jasper and my dad stayed on the island. I can't sneak out, not right now. It's still early. She'll notice I'm gone."

"Okay. Meet me at the park after she goes to bed. I'll wait for you. Midnight. On the swings. Me and you."

My weight shifts from side to side, "Look, I got into some trouble this summer. That's why we're home early. My mom's going to be extra diligent these first couple of days."

I'm making excuses, but he doesn't need to know that.

There's no urgency on my end for us to jump right back into something.

Once school starts, we can be together.

Until then, I need these last couple of weeks to reflect and figure out my life while I write it all out in my journal.

It's what I always do after we get back home.

Edward told me he does something similar, though he's never shared what his actual countdown includes. He's only shared he has one and that he keeps it on his bookshelf by one of his favorite pictures of us.

Just knowing he has a ritual is enough; it's something that keeps him thinking about me when we're not together, and it makes me smile.

 _God, I miss him._

Still, this was the right decision for me to make.

The right choice for everyone.

I've got to come clean with Jake, because next summer, no matter what happens between the two of us, I will go to Prima without any baggage.

He needs to understand that.

"Look, there's something I have to tell you. My heart belongs to someone else, Jake. Well, the majority of it, anyway. I should've told you that last year."

He smirks and takes a step closer.

"Yeah, I already figured that out. A few of your friends have even filled in some of the gaps for me while you were gone. It doesn't matter to me. Challenge accepted. I have the next ten months to win you back and make you mine before you see him again. Piece of cake."

Just then, the door behind me opens, and I move out of the way for my mom to stick her head out. "Oh, hello, Jacob. It's nice to see you, but it's a little late for Bella to have any visitors tonight."

"We were just saying goodbye, Mom."

"Welcome home, Mrs. Swan."

My mom smiles and nods in our direction then gives me a look letting me know I need to be back inside before she makes it to her wine glass to pour herself a refill.

Once we're alone again, Jake steps closer and takes my hand in his. "I'll come by tomorrow afternoon. We can go over to Jess' while her mom's at work."

I shake my head. "I'm serious, Jake. I need a couple of days to myself. I'll find you when I'm ready to be social again."

His hand squeezes mine, and he pulls on my arm to bring me even closer, "Fine. Whatever you want. I can wait another couple of days. You should know, though, I have big plans for us this year."

I wish I could share in some of his excitement, but I couldn't care less, to be completely honest.

He'll never be anything more than a distraction for me, because I know I'm nothing more than a trophy for him to walk around with, but it works for us, so I don't complain.

* * *

… **(.Edward.)…**

I'm helping Emmett get our bags down to the boat when Heidi and Ri appear in their bathing suits with cans of soda in their hands.

Heidi offers hers up to me, but I decline and take a seat at the edge of the dock beside her and her sister after tossing Emmett the last of our bags.

In true Heidi fashion, she wastes no time resting her head on my shoulder and then lets out a dramatic huff.

"You're so lame for leaving early."

I laugh and shrug. "Next summer will be here before we know it."

"I'm sure that's what you're hoping. I doubt Ben will be able to wait that long, though. I already heard him talking with our mom and dad about going to look at colleges in Nevada."

As soon as I process what she's implying, my gaze sets on the waves where they're washing up onto the shore.

I feel my body tense.

Apparently, Ben's looking for ways to see Bella before our next summer on Prima arrives.

"Why would Ben want to go to college in Nevada?" Emmett speaks up after jumping off the boat to join us on the dock. "Shit. Do they even play football in Nevada?"

Heidi snickers something under her breath and flips her hair before smirking in my brother's direction. "Oh, I guess you haven't heard. Edward already knows. I told him the other night when we were camping. My brother and Bella were fooling around this summer. Well, until she walked in on him about to bang your sister the other day. He's been playing them both. That's why Bella went home early."

My fists clench at my sides, and my eyes instantly narrow in her direction.

"That's _not_ why Bella went home early," I growl.

Emmett's already laughing. "What the hell are you even talking about, Heidi? Did you get into your parents' weed? Because if you did, you sure as hell better share! Bella would never fool around with Ben, and Ben would never hook up with Rose. He's been warned. He knows Edward and I would kill him."

I remain silent, because I've actually known about Ben and Rose since last summer, but she made me promise not to tell anyone.

Not even Bella.

I managed to keep that promise, but all it's taken is Heidi to ruin things and also cause permanent damage to Emmett and Ben's friendship.

Regardless, I refuse to believe Ben is why Bella left Prima early.

"Charlie and Renee made Bella leave because of the coach stuff. She didn't have a choice. She had to go home," I grumble, looking away again.

"If that's what you have to tell yourself. The timeline of events doesn't support your theory, though. Think about it. Why would her parents rush her back home to be where that creepy coach is? Go ask your sister if you don't believe me. Bella came running over to our house as soon as she got back from the mainland the day before she left. She was looking for Ben, and then she found him with your sister in his bedroom. After that, she took off running into the woods in tears crying her eyes out."

Emmett says nothing.

My head's officially spinning and trying to make sense of everything I've just heard.

I look over and see my brother in deep thought, his arms crossed firmly in front of him. He turns his head to look toward the Tori house, and right before my eyes, his entire demeanor changes as his shoulders square off and his nostrils begin to flare.

"I'll kill him."

"Relax, Em. Rose hooks up with half the guys at the country club back home," I remind him.

My brother snorts and shakes his head. "Why the hell aren't you fuming? She just said Ben's been hooking up with Bella too!"

"I already knew something happened between them. It doesn't mean that's why she left. They were just hanging out. It wasn't anything serious."

Heidi lets out another exaggerated laugh and then leans forward to slap her knee. "Again, if that's what you have to tell yourself, Edward. Denial won't change anything, though."

"Jesus, Heidi!" Emmett suddenly shouts. "What's your damn problem? Ben's your brother, and you're down here narking on him and my sister. Grow the hell up! Come on, Edward. Let's go find him and have a talk."

Before I can say anything, Emmett's already stomping away, leaving me behind with Heidi and her sister who has yet to say a single word.

Irina looks unbelievably uncomfortable.

Heidi's always forcing her into things she doesn't want to be a part of.

Actually, Heidi's always trying to force almost everyone into things they don't want to be a part of.

When Ri finally looks up at me, I sigh and begin to anxiously tug at my hair. "Did you really see Ben going into Bella's room at night this summer?"

She says nothing.

"Tell him, Ri! Tell him what you told me."

Irina clears her throat.

She looks away, shifts her weight, and then nods her head, "Yeah, I saw him. He tried to tell me he left a prank, but he'd been up there all night. It wasn't just a prank."

I can feel my anger rising with every breath I take as her words cement themselves into my brain.

Ben was spending nights alone with Bella up in her room…

All summer, they'd been sneaking around...

At night.

Together.

In her room.

The only thing keeping me from exploding right now is the fact she promised to wait for me until next summer.

She told me she was still a virgin. She wouldn't have lied to me. Not about that. Not with the way she said it.

She was happy when we spoke, not sad or acting as if she'd been hiding something.

Still, for him to be in her room all night… They weren't up there only talking for hours at a time.

Now I want to kill him.

I push past Heidi and run to catch up with my brother.

When I reach Emmett, though, I don't slow down. Instead, I keep running at full speed. I've already spotted Ben sitting with Rose under the big tree where Bella would usually relax with one of her _Rolling Stone_ magazines.

When he sees me coming, he jumps up and his body stiffens.

My sister remains seated on the ground with a confused look on her face.

"I was wondering when you'd come looking for me."

My hands shove him hard, and he stumbles back a few steps, quickly catching his balance and bringing his arms up from his sides to defend himself.

"Edward, what the hell?!"

"Shut it, Rose. Emmett's already wants to destroy him for messing around with you. I'm here to kill him for messing around with Bella."

"Bella?!" My sister laughs. "Now that's adorable."

"Tell her, Ben. Go ahead."

Ben remains silent. He looks at the ground.

Rose leaps up as the realizations sets in that I'm actually telling the truth.

"You… You were hooking up with my brother's girlfriend all summer?"

"No," Ben snickers. "Your brother came here with a girlfriend this summer, but it wasn't Bella."

Emmett finally reaches us, and he wastes no time joining the conversation by slugging Ben in the side of his arm.

"Rose, you should go and let the three of us talk," he quickly barks out without even looking in our sister's direction.

She scoffs and then laughs sarcastically. "Oh, I'm not going anywhere. I want to know what the hell this is all about!"

"All right. Fine. Have it your way." Emmett lets go of Rose's arm and takes a step back to set his heated stare onto his best friend. "How long have you been fucking around with my sister again?"

Ben laughs nervously, then tugs at the back of his neck, "Look, Em. That started last summer. I shut it down, though, before we all left last year. I ended it just like I told you."

"Bullshit! Bella caught the two of you together. Heidi said that's what made her go home!"

"No. Her _parents_ made her go. It had nothing to do with me. We were hanging out, but that was it."

He's lying.

It's obvious Ben isn't going to be forthcoming with what he knows and what actually happened between the two of them.

I'm just not sure if that's out of respect for Bella or because he's afraid of what Emmett and I might do to him.

"I told you to leave my sister alone!"

Ben rolls his eyes. "Oh, shut up! We both know you're the last person in the world who should talk when it comes to fucked-up random hookups!" he shouts back, his own rage suddenly taking over. He steps up to my brother and gets right up in his face. They're both pissed and ready to swing. "Should I keep going, or are we done here? Because I doubt you want me to keep going."

Emmett remains silent, but the anger on his face intensifies and his fists clench, trembling at his sides.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. You guys have a nice trip home. Good luck at Dartmouth. I'll see you next summer, Edward."

Ben offers his hand out to slap it with my brother's, but Emmett doesn't move.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from our sister. And Bella! That's the last warning you'll get from me. I fucking mean it, Ben."

After that, Emmett walks away, taking Rose by the arm.

Ben and I stand there.

The silence gets louder.

I still want to punch him. I want to punch him and make him admit everything, but at the same time, I don't.

I'm not a total idiot.

I'm better off not knowing some things.

Some things need to be left in the dark where they belong.

"Just tell me it's over. Whatever was starting to happen between the two of you is done, right?"

Ben shifts his weight and crosses his arms.

"She said it's done. She seemed to mean it."

For now, that's all I need to hear.

When I start to walk away, he chases after me. "Edward, wait." I stop and turn to face him.

Ben stuffs his hands into his pockets and shakes his head after looking down at my feet.

"Look, man. I'm sorry."

I don't even know what to say to that, so I say nothing and wait for him to continue.

"It just kind of happened, but it was all me. I initiated it. Don't be mad at her."

"I could never be mad at her. Next summer will be different. I won't make the same mistake twice," I grumble before walking away again.

That's when I hear Ben snicker something under his breath about none of us knowing the future.

His words cause me to spin back around, and I come at him again. "What was that, _Tori_?"

I swear I see him holding back a smirk.

"Nothing, _Cullen_. I'll see you next year. It's been a hell of a summer—one I'll never forget."

He trots off after that, and I'm left standing there, glaring at the back of his head.

* * *

 **A/N:** _And that wraps up Bella and Edward's Summer 15._

 _Next chapter will go up a week from today. It will be filled with emails between E and B, giving you a peek into their world while they're apart but still thinking about each other daily._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts!_

 _Was it the right thing for Bella to do… going home? Will Edward be able to look past everything that happened between Ben and Bella once they're all together again? What the heck is going on with Emmett? (That answer will start to come at the end of chapter 10- going into chapter 11. I promise, haha) :P_

 ****Reviews make me smile!**

 **As thanks for making me smile, with my reply to your words,**

 **I'll share a look inside Ben's head**

 **while he's having his confrontation with Edward.****


	10. Our Long Distance Normal

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** All the thanks to, MariahajilE, for looking these emails over for me with her fab beta eyes, and all of the hugs to my pre-reader, BPLemons.

Some light housekeeping stuff; The Babies at the Border compilation has rolled out and there are some AMAZING pieces of work in it. You'll find the first four chapters of Roadies included in the compilation as well. If you received a copy, I hope you'll enjoy those first few chapters, *wink*. Also, you might have noticed I've begun posting the outtakes for this story as a separate story on my profile page. As of now, my plan is to share the outtakes whenever a summer wraps up within the main story. In the meantime though, I'll continue to share them individually in review replies as we make our way through Bella and Edward's summer at 16.

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 9**

 **Our Long Distance Normal**

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _July 16, 2018 9:49 PM_

I'm home! I want to call you so friggin' bad, but it's late and I want to stay on your mom's good side. My dad already started talking to your dad about us visiting for Thanksgiving or you guys coming here! I know they talk about it every year, but this year will be different. I'll make sure it happens. I hope you're good. I hope you'll tell me if you're not. I'll try to call you in the morning.

IMYSM- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _July 16, 2018 10:12 PM_

My mom let me check my email before bed! Yay! You're home! I don't know why that makes me happy. I guess because you're at least a little bit closer to me when you're in Chicago. LOL! I actually heard my mom say something about Thanksgiving when she was on the phone with my dad tonight! I'll keep all of my fingers and toes crossed! I have to be at the gym by 8 tomorrow morning. If you can call at 7:30 my time. I'll hang by the phone, and my mom's usually busy getting ready so she won't be hanging over my shoulder.

IMY2! Xoxoxoxox, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _August 10, 2018 7:15 AM_

Hey, you! It was awesome getting to see your face last night while you were at Jessica's, but i don't think your friend Jake liked it too much. Sorry about that. I hope you have a great first day of school. I'll call you later to hear all about it. I had a dream last night. You were in it, and I woke up smiling. November can't get here soon enough!

Xo- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _August 10, 2018 9:17 PM_

I'm so so so so sorry I missed your call! My mom let me listen to your message. Practice ran crazy late. Our new coach is a real wench. She made us do 20 laps BEFORE we could even go home. Ridiculous. Anyways, yeah… Jake wasn't too thrilled about us FaceTiming on Jess' laptop, but he'll get over it, especially since I told him you're not going anywhere from my life so he better get used to your existence and the fact that you make me smile more than anyone else. ;)

I'll use Jess' phone to call you when I get to the gym tomorrow afternoon. That should be around 4 my time.

XO, Bella.

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _August 24, 2018 6:47 AM_

So, I got into some trouble yesterday. I wouldn't try calling my house any time soon, but I'll call you from Jessica's phone and explain more later.

IMY! Xoxox, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _August 24, 2018 7:21 AM_

Uh-oh. What did you do now? Alice just told me Jasper told her you're grounded for life. CALL ME!

X- E

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 2, 2018 9:25 AM_

You haven't called or written back in days. Now i'm worried. If i don't hear from you today, I'll call Jess and see what's up. Alice said Jasper wouldn't tell her anything.

X- E

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 4, 2018 7:20 AM_

Seriously, what's going? Jasper isn't even answering Alice's messages now. Just let me know you're okay, or I'm going to make my mom call over there because I can't take this.

-E

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 4, 2018 11:47 PM_

I am so so so so soooooooooooo sorry! I was trapped at home all weekend because of the stupid holiday. My mom wouldn't even let me see Jess, and when I was at the gym, she stayed to make sure I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing. Long story short, I skipped practice last week. She found out. Now I'll have a chaperone at all times when I'm not at school for who knows how long. Jasper tried to cover for me, so he got in trouble too. Let Alice know he should be able to write her back tomorrow. I won't get my computer privileges back until this weekend, but I should be able to use the school's computer until then and Jess' phone at lunch. I have to get to class.

I MISS YOU EDWARD CULLEN! XOXO, Bella.

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 4, 2018 2:42 PM_

I figured it had to be something like that, but I was still worried. I'm just glad you're okay. Don't worry, I won't ask about what you were off doing when you were supposed to be at practice. :P

We spent the long weekend watching Rose lose all of her tennis matches while Alice won all of hers. It made for an interesting ride home. I've got baseball practice tonight, but I'll have my phone on me if you get a chance to sneak away and call.

I MISS YOU TOO BELLA SWAN! T minus 77 sleeps until we're possibly together again to stuff our faces with our families and maybe hold hands under the table!

XO- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 5, 2018 7:40 AM_

We have our rules for a reason, darlin'. ;) Don't worry. What's mine is still yours to take and no one else's.

Jake got me in trouble when he got me home late from practice, which triggered my mom to ask around about me being there at all.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving! I still can't believe you're really coming here! I'm going to show you off all around town!

Xoxoxox, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 5, 2018 12:42 PM_

I wasn't worried, :P

I am however shocked as hell to hear your mom and dad are letting your boyfriend drive you around when he just got his license last week. Sounds like they're starting to loosen your chains a little! Hooray for that, I guess ;)

Good luck at your comp tomorrow! I'm sure you'll place high and wow all of the judges!

XOXOX- E

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 7, 2018 6:53 PM_

It's been two days. Haven't heard from you, but Jess sent me a text letting me know you're sick and haven't been at school. I hope you feel better soon. Thinking about you all the damn time!

X- E

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 9, 2018 6:40 AM_

OMG! I just got your flowers! My mom let me jump on the computer to send you an email so I could say thank you. I almost got her to let me call you, but she had a point. I barely have a voice right now. This flu is kicking my butt. 3 more days until I'm no longer grounded, though! I should be able to start writing again regularly soon. Thank you again for the flowers! They're beautiful. You're the first boy to ever do something like that for me. I'm going to hang them in my room to dry so I can keep them 4ever!

*heart* IMY!

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 9, 2018 2:32 PM_

Hey! I just got out of class. I'm glad you liked the flowers. I hope they made you smile because I've been picturing your smile in my head a lot lately.

Gotta get to ball practice. TTYL.

IMY2! XXOxOXX- E

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 14, 2018 10:40 AM_

Things have been nuts! It's getting to be that busy time of year with comps, and my homework is really starting to stack up. I'm sorry I haven't written as much or been able to catch your calls. I miss you, though, and you're on my mind daily. Jake and I are taking a break. I'm sure that will make you smile. Haha. I heard about your mom's new job. I hope that won't mess up Thanksgiving. How's Emmett been doing over at Dartmouth? You haven't said much about him lately.

Xoxoxox, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 16, 2018 5:50 PM_

I hadn't even thought about my mom's new job messing up things for Thanksgiving. Crap. I'll see what i can find out and let you know. Sucks to be Jake, but we get what we get, right? Ha! Emmett's coming home this weekend for my dad's bday. We haven't seen him since he left, but I guess he's been doing well. I heard my mom telling my dad he's bringing a girl with him. That should be interesting. I'll try calling tomorrow night while your mom's book club is there to keep her busy.

Missing you a lot today. Everywhere i looked there seemed to be something that reminded me of your face. All right. That's enough sap for one email.

XXoXX -Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 17, 2018 9:40 AM_

Sorry I didn't get to call yesterday. Jess didn't come to school, so I couldn't use her phone. Major withdrawal after getting to talk to you on her cell every day this week! I'm so begging my parents for my own cell phone this year for my birthday. I think 16 is the perfect year for them to finally give me some freedom in the normal teenage communication department. *fingers crossed* I've got that big comp this weekend over in Phoenix. I'm kind of nervous. My new dismount from beam will make or break my rank. No pressure at all. Ugh. My mom's coming as a chaperone. Jasper and my dad are staying here. Good times!

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 19, 2018 2:38 PM_

So?! How did it go? Did you nail your dismount and present like a pro?! I want to hear all about it! We saw Emmett this weekend. He seemed good. He told me to tell you he said, "Hi, Little Swan!" and to stay out of trouble. I met his girlfriend, Rachel. She's nice, but I can tell it's not something that will last. I mean, he all but said that right in front of her when we were hanging out after dinner one night after she brought up coming back for Christmas. Talk about awkward! That's Emmett for ya! Lol! Call me tomorrow if you can or I'll likely try calling you at home.

XXoXX- E

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 20, 2018 7:42 AM_

Hey! Sorry! I did well! Placed second in all around, and my team got third. Not too shabby considering the gyms we were up against. Get this—a coach from UCLA was there! They talked to my mom about me coming there for a tour as a possible option for college. Could you even imagine?! My parents letting me go to college in California? My mom would insist on moving out there with me to sleep under my bed while my dad stayed here with my brother. LOL!

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 21, 2018 8:50 AM_

Congratz! I knew you would rock it! UCLA could be fun. I'll send for some brochures of my own. ;) I know we haven't ever really talked about it, but how awesome would it be to go to the same college? I don't really care where i go. Being where you are would be a huge perk, though.

You haven't mentioned Homecoming. Are you going this year? I got roped into taking my buddy's girlfriend's best friend as a favor. She's nice, but she talks too much. Rose made court. I did too, but I declined the invitation to be on the ballot. Not something i want to do this year. Plus, only losers take part in that level of lame. Ohhhhhhhhh! :P

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 21, 2018 4:17 PM_

HAR HAR HAR. You're soooooooooo funny! Don't hate because I made court last year AND this year and actually LOVE being a part of it all! So, yeah. I'm going! It's tomorrow night, actually. Jake talked me into being his date since we will likely be voted as the reps from our grade. It will make things less awkward in the long run. We're NOT back together. Not gonna happen. Make sure you send me pictures of your fine self all dressed up! Maybe one year, I'll get you to come be my date over here. I'm still so sad you're not coming for Thanksgiving anymore. Your mom just had to go and get a stupid new job. ARRRRRRGULA! Not cool Cullen!

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 21, 2018 6:50 PM_

I know it sucks so effing much. Maybe Emmett and i could fly out for a day or two during Christmas break. I'll start laying some hints down with my parents. My mom actually feels really bad about messing up our plans and promised to make it up to me. We'll see. I gotta jet. Have fun tomorrow night, but not too much fun :P Crazy our dances are on the same night in different states. I'll be thinking about you for sure while I'm at mine, wishing you were with me looking like a glam queen. Have fun with Jake.

TTYL- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _September 23,2018 8:40 AM_

Hey, you! I know we just talked on the phone, but I wanted to tell you again that I'm not upset. I'm glad you had fun at Homecoming and ended up clicking with your date. She sounds cool. Stop saying you're sorry! I told you before it would be nuts to go all year without having a girlfriend! You need your practice too. :p Please please please don't hold back because of me. Just make sure you're single again before the summer comes, or I'll punch you in the nuts.

Alright. Gotta get to a team meeting with my mom. TTYL.

XO, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _September 23, 2018 2:50 PM_

Hey! I know. We won't talk about it again. Katie knows all about you, and now you know about her. No secrets. I promise to come to Prima with zero strings attached to me, no matter what! Congratz again on winning Homecoming court, even though I'll continue to tease you on the the sly about it forever. Maybe for your birthday this year, I'll get you a special box to start keeping all of your tiaras and sashes in. LOL. Should i start calling you Princess Bella or nah? Call me tomorrow from Jessica's phone when you get to school. I need to hear your voice and maybe hopefully see your face on FaceTime. Will you wear your tiara for me? Ohhhhh! LOL!

TTYL - EDWARD

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _October 20, 2018 2:50 PM_

I can't believe I had to break our FaceTime streak this afternoon. We went almost an entire month without needing to email! Nuts! Alas, Jess lost her phone privileges for the next two weeks. Don't ask. Anyways, heads up. Jake and I are back on again. He's been going above and beyond to get back on my good side, so I'm giving him a second chance. Well, I guess it's more like a fourth chance, but you know what I mean. I hope things with you and Katie are going well again after that fight you had about me the other day. Sorry again… you should have told me she was in the room though AND that you had me on speaker phone! JEBUS!

XOXOXOXOX, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _October 21, 2018 2:56 PM_

Sucks for Jess. And me too, I guess, now that Jake's back up to bat. Yeah, I had a feeling it was coming after what he pulled at Homecoming with the stupid horse-pulled carriage, Princess Bella. So lame. :P Things with Katie are good again, but I'm not looking to rent a horse and carriage to take her around the city anytime soon. I actually talked to Heidi yesterday. She sent me a random email to see how we were doing since she doesn't have your address. Don't worry. I didn't give it to her. So this is me telling you she said hi. All is well with her and everyone else. You've probably talked to Ben, though, so you know that already. All right. I gotta bounce. My dad's taking me to get my learner's permit. Wish me luck!

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _October 29, 2018 9:39 PM_

Hey, you! Where've you been? I know Jess doesn't have her phone, but you haven't even written me back from school. I hope you're okay. Missing your words like crazy and seeing your face. I passed my learner's permit test. My dad's been letting me drive us to school in the morning. I'm actually pretty good. He says i'm even better than Emmett was when he was my age. I can't wait to rub that in. LOL!

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _October 30, 2018 2:50 PM_

Still nothing? I'm really starting to worry. I guess your brother and my sister had a fight, because she refuses to call him and check on you for me. I dunno what's up with that. Just let me know you're okay. Please? Are you doing anything for Halloween?

IMY- Edward

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _October 31, 2018 3:36 PM_

All right. I'm having my mom call your mom tonight! I can't take not knowing. I just need to hear you're alright. Are you mad I brought up Ben? I'm sorry if that's what it was. Or was it me still making fun of your tiaras and sashes? I was only teasing. I promise. Please let me know you're okay, so I can just leave you alone since that's apparently what you want for some reason.

-E

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _October 31, 2018 6:40 PM_

Hey. I'm sorry. I've been dealing with some stuff. I should have at least checked my mail and told you I was okay. Your mom called, so you probably already know I've been okay. Just dealing with drama here. Jess isn't talking to me because I don't want to take on being captain for our team. Jake's mad because I told him I didn't want him coming with us to my comp next weekend, even though we've been talking about him coming for the last couple of months. I just need a break. From everything. I haven't talked to Ben, just so you know, not once since I left the island, so you can stop with that. Don't you dare ever leave me alone. Leaving me alone is what triggered our shitty summer, and I would never want a repeat of that. Not ever. I'm staying in tonight to pass out candy with my mom. What about you?

XO, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _October 31, 2018 7:00 PM_

Sorry. We just… We haven't talked about any of that stuff and i guess it's still been eating away at me a little. I'm glad you're okay. What's going on over there? Is Jake messing with you? I'll find a way to get my ass out there, if he is, even if I end up getting grounded for the rest of the year. I'm supposed to go with Rose to a party up the street tonight, but I think Katie and i might just stay in and watch a scary movie. Can I call you tomorrow?

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _November 1, 2018 6:40 PM_

There's nothing to talk about when it comes to Ben and last summer. Please, just drop it. I have to get busy with my homework, or my mom's going to kill me. She's not letting me take any calls tonight. Maybe tomorrow after practice?

TTYL, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _November 1, 2018 8:36 PM_

I mean, I think there's some stuff to talk about, Bella, but if you're not ready yet, it's fine. I've been putting it off too. You should know, though, I did talk to Ben before I left, and Irina told me about him coming up to your room at night last summer. I'm not mad. I don't need any details. I just want to know it's over. That's all.

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _November 2, 2018 9:40 PM_

You seriously better not go back to avoiding me now. We have to talk about it, Bella. I don't want things to be weird next summer. Let's just get it out of the way and be done with it. Please?

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _November 3, 2018 2:50 PM_

Are you seriously going to ignore me now? Stop it! I had a girlfriend last summer. It was my fault. I don't blame you for spending time with someone else. Even if it was Ben Tori. Please! Just talk to me! I'll leave you alone until then. This was why i hadn't brought it up yet. I knew you'd shut down like this. Good luck at your comp. I'm sure you'll do great, just like you always do. I miss you.

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _November 10, 2018 6:20 PM_

Seriously, Bella?! IT'S BEEN OVER A WEEK. Talk to me!

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _November 13, 2018 10:50 PM_

Okay. I'm sorry. You need to remember you left me hanging for a month last year, so calm down. I don't know what to say about Ben. I told you we were hanging out. Yes, he came over at night sometimes. We talked in my room. We kissed a few times. Happy? Nothing more ever happened. It was a summer fling because I was bored when the sun went down and I couldn't always trust myself around you, so he filled in. We ended up getting closer, but it's over. Done. Can we please move on now? I ended it all before I left the island and I made that very clear to him.

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _November 13, 2018 11:38 PM_

Well, thanks for getting back to me. Yes, I'm happy. I don't want there to ever be secrets between us. We've never had any before, and I'm not about to let them in now. All I needed to hear was that it's done. I don't want to be sitting around on the little beach next summer wondering who you're thinking about when we're together.

Moving on… I found out we're having Thanksgiving at a damn Cracker Barrel. Can you even believe that? My mom's going to be working all day, so my dad's taking the easy road. So ridiculous. Might as well order in Chinese food. I'm going to call you tomorrow. It's been too long since i've heard your voice, so your mom better let you talk. I feel so much better finally talking this out. Thank you for coming out of hiding. I promise i'll make last summer up to you in ways that will leave you speechless in less than 7 months. :P Time for bed. Can't wait to talk tomorrow. Sweet dreams! I know you'll be in mine!

xxOxx- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _November 22, 2018 8:40 PM_

How was Cracker Barrel? Everything you'd thought it would be on Thanksgiving? Haha! Sorry I couldn't talk tonight on the phone. I hate that I had to end our FaceTime streak again. I'll be at the gym tomorrow, though, working off all of these calories from today. I'll call you as soon as I can borrow Jess' phone. Gotta go. Until tomorrow! Gobble gobble!

XOXOXOXOX, Bella

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _December 8, 2018 9:42 AM_

Jess played hooky today with her boyfriend, so that's why I didn't call at lunch. Soooooooo I know we talked about no more secrets. I saw my old coach yesterday. Felix. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time he actually talked to me. He just said hi and that he was proud of how well I'd done at my last three comps. I ran away without saying a word to him. I'd gone into the store to grab milk while my mom waited in the car. I didn't tell her yet, but I will. I just didn't want to ruin her chipper holiday cheer.

XO, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _December 8, 2018 2:39 PM_

If you see him again, you run. I really wish you'd pressed charges on the son of a bitch. I understand your reasoning why you haven't, though. I know you're only looking out for your team, but you shouldn't have to. That shouldn't be something you have to shoulder alone. Please tell your mom. She needs to know he's still finding ways to get to you. I don't like it. Promise me you won't drink tonight. Please? Call me ASAP. BTW, Katie and I broke up. She said it was better we were friends since I always seem so "preoccupied". Saved me from having to buy her a Xmas gift! Ha! You haven't mentioned Jake in a while. How's all that been?

XXXXX- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _December 9, 2018 6:40 AM_

I'm sorry about Katie. Breakups suck regardless. I'm fine. I haven't had any booze since that party at Jess' last month where I spent all night FaceTiming with you in her bedroom while you laughed at me. :0P! Jake is Jake. We're the same as always. He's coming to my next comp after the new year. He booked himself a room with his dad's credit card, so I can't tell him I changed my mind and he can't come, which is what I did to him last month. Such a dork. I'll call you at lunch tomorrow. I can't friggin' wait for Christmas break. I so need it.

Xoxo, Bella

* * *

 _From: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _To: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _December 25, 2018 2:38 AM_

Merry Christmas! I wanted to be the first to say it. I really hope you like your present. I'll wait to open the one you sent me when we FaceTime later after you wake up. You don't have to wait to open mine if you don't want to. ;) i hope you have a nice morning with your family. Tell everyone i said hi. Emmett got here late last night, but I haven't really seen him yet. Okay. I'm about to pass out. Wishing I could stand under some mistletoe with you today. Missing you hard Bella Swan.

XXoXXoXX- Edward

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _December 25, 2018 11:16 AM_

OMG! I got a cell phone! My parents got me a cell phone for Christmas! It came with a lot of rules like they get to hold on to it at night, but I have a cell phone, Edward! Ahhhhhhh! I'm going to FaceTime you right now! I'm so excited! Life just got so much better! I'll get to see your face almost every day! I'm about to have a heart attack! I'm calling you now! You better pick up! No more short emails! The next 5 months will fly by now! Ahhhhh!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Merry Christmas Edward Cullen! I'm so friggin happy!

* * *

 _From: Bella Swan BellaSwan hotmail.c0m_

 _To: Edward Cullen ECSquared gmail.c0m_

 _February 26, 2019 11:58 PM_

My parents took my phone for the night. I saw Ben today. I'll call you tomorrow. I just wanted you to hear it from me before Heidi wrote to you thinking she had some kind of juicy gossip. There's no juicy gossip. Promise. They're still awake in their room so I have to go before they catch me on the computer and ground me.

TTY2M XOXOXOX, Bella

* * *

 **A/N:** _Yup I left you on a cliff with an e-mail. If you didn't notice, Bella's last two emails jump from Christmas to the end of February. They haven't been using emails as much since they can talk daily now from her big girl cellphone. *wink*_

 _I hope this was a nice glimpse into their lives while they've been apart. Chapter 10 will jump in with Bella's random encounter with Ben and then Chapter 11 will bring their next summer back on Prima._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts and I could use the extra smiles this week after royally messing up my ankle from falling 15 feet off of a ladder, lol. So much fun, let me tell you. Just call me cannon Bella because apparently, I'm just as clumsy._

 _ *****Reviews make me smile. As thanks for making me smile, I'll share an outtake with you from when Bella runs into Felix at the store. They did share a few more words than she told Edward… but that's to be expected, right?*****_


	11. Forfeit the Fight

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** Welcome back! _Many many thanks to my beta, MariahajilE. She's awesome and I'm one lucky b to get to work with her. All the hugs to my pre-readers, BPlemons and Myonlyheroin. I'm still hobbling around on one leg but the good news is, I'll be a hopscotch pro once I'm back on two feet again, lol. Thanks so much for all of the well-wishes. They really helped me smile. :)_

* * *

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 10**

 **Forfeit the Fight**

 **.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**

It's almost 7:00 when Jess and I walk out of the locker room to head home. Our bags are slung over our shoulders, and we're laughing over my most recent horrific dismount from the beam when I hear a familiar whistle.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Jess questions, tugging on my arm.

That's when I notice him leaning against the wall. He's standing by the front desk looking about as nervous as I've ever seen. My body freezes, and the pace of my heart quickens. I can hardly believe what I'm seeing.

 _It's Ben._

Benjamin Tori. He's here. In Las Vegas. About twenty feet away. He's smiling in my direction with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Holy crap! That guy's hot as hell! Do you know him?"

"That… It… It's… _How_ … Wha—? What's even happening?" I'm in disbelief, and my cheeks begin to flush.

I walk toward him without saying another word, but my friend reaches out to grab my arm again, instantly preventing me from moving.

"Bella Swan, who is that?"

"It's Ben," I mumble, unable to look her in the eyes.

My answer causes her to squeal and jump up and down beside me. " _The_ Ben? From the island? Shut up! Did you know he was coming here?"

"Obviously not, or I would've told you."

"Holy crap! Jake's going to freak the eff out."

I roll my eyes and flip my hand in the air, quickly dismissing her prediction. "Over what? Ben and I are only friends, but, um, can you go keep Jake distracted for me while I see what Ben's doing here? I'll meet you guys outside in five minutes."

Jessica looks at me as if I've just told her the sky is falling and she's the one who has to fly off to save the day.

"I'll buy you as much time as I can, hon, but you know Jake. He's not going to sit in his truck while you talk to some incredibly fine-looking guy who's already looking at you as if his entire world revolves around your pretty face." My best friend pinches at my already tingling cheek, and I slap her hand away.

"Stop it," I snicker, rolling my eyes to purposely avoid Ben's unwanted stare.

"What? It's true! Jesus! Now I can see why you came home so broken-hearted last summer. I would've walked myself into the ocean if a boy like that ever cheated on me."

I smack her arm this time and let out an exasperated huff. "He didn't cheat on me. Christ, Jess! We were never together. We were just hanging out."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say, sweetie."

She's clearly not buying my spin, but I don't care. Jessica's the least of my problems at the moment.

Without saying anything else, she winks and finally leaves me behind to find Jake in the parking lot, because today of all days would be the first day in weeks my mom has let him pick me up.

When I reach Ben, he offers me his pretty-boy grin, pulls his hands from his pockets, and then takes a step closer so he'd be able to speak without anyone else hearing him.

"Surprised?"

"Well, I'd say that's the biggest understatement of my life, but I think seeing Rose on top of you in your bed will forever hold that title," I reply with a smirk.

He flinches and lets out a heavy sigh. "I guess it's better to get that out of the way right off the bat."

I shrug and slowly extend my arms to hug him, not really wanting to make things too awkward.

He looks like a different person in his freshly pressed black jeans and a button-down dress shirt. He also smells ridiculously good, like the men's section in Macy's. I'm used to him smelling like the ocean and sunscreen, with sand in his messy hair and dirt under his fingernails.

The thought makes me smile a little easier, and with my smile, I'm able to relax in his embrace. When I pull away and take a step back, he draws in a deep breath and waits for me to say something.

"It's nice to see you, Ben Tori."

He breaths and I witness his own smile grow right before my eyes.

"It's nice to hear you say that, Little Swan."

We literally haven't spoken since I left Prima. Not even an email. I've read his letter more than once, though. I've actually read it enough times that the creases in the paper have started to tear at the center.

I don't read it for the reminder of the summer we shared together; I read it for the reminder that the only person I can ever count on is myself, especially when it comes to the choices I make and the people I choose to let in.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came with a friend and his mom to look at some colleges. This was our last stop. After we finished our tour at UNLV, I found your dad on campus, and he told me you would be here. I grabbed an Uber to catch you before you left."

My eyes are back to being wide again, and my jaw has dropped open.

"Co-colleges? H-here?" I stutter, feeling as though the ground beneath my feet just gave out.

My former summer secret laughs softly and pulls at the back of his neck. "Yeah. I'm keeping all of my options open until the last minute. When I heard my buddy was coming out this way, I took it as a sign and asked to tag along."

Something about the bashful smirk on his face tells me this wasn't a completely accidental opportunity for him, but I stay silent because I've already noticed Jake walking our way from the parking lot.

"Are you heading home?"

"Yeah. Jake, my, um, boyfriend is giving Jessica and me a ride."

"Ah-ha. So that's why the guy outside is currently staring at me as if he wants to kill me and bury my body somewhere in the desert."

I turn to look. Ben's right. Jake doesn't look happy. I let out a nervous laugh and shrug my shoulders. I have no idea what to say next, but our one-on-one time is now officially limited.

"Do you, um, have somewhere you need to be?" I finally ask. All he's doing is smiling down at me with that look in his eyes that makes me feel like we're all alone in the world, even though we're clearly not.

"Nope. We fly out tomorrow morning. I've got nowhere to be until then."

I cross my arms and sigh, feeling a little annoyed by his news.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

He grins bashfully and shrugs as he rocks side to side on his feet. "I guess I was afraid you'd tell me to stay away. At least this way, I get to see your face for a few minutes without your family dissecting every moment of it."

Jake and Jess are still walking in our direction. With every step they take, I feel my anxiety inflate as my heart thumps against the center of my chest.

This is not going to go over well, but we get what we get. We don't complain.

"I've gotta be home in ten minutes, or my mom will come looking for me. If that happens, she'll likely ground me for another week," I shyly admit.

"Uh-oh. What did you do to get grounded last week?"

I smirk and raise my brow. "The last three weeks, you mean."

"Ouch. I guess you weren't kidding about them being a lot stricter when you're home."

"Oh, you have no idea." I lean into Jake after he steps up beside me, dropping his arm over my shoulder to pull me up against him. "Jake, this is my friend, Ben. His family vacations with my family in the summer. He's in town while visiting some colleges."

Jake eyes Ben with a not-so-subtle sneer, but then he slowly relaxes and offers him his hand for a firm and awkward shake. "As long as you're not Edward, we're good."

Ben flinches at the sound of my not-so-secret soulmate's name, then forces a smile of his own.

I find myself biting on my bottom lip just as Jess lets out a loud and awkward laugh that breaks the silence. "Hi! I'm Jessica!"

"It's nice to meet you both. I'm definitely _not_ Edward, just an old friend passing through."

Jake puts his arm back around me, brings me in even closer, and then leans down to kiss my lips in an attempt, no doubt, to mark his territory.

"We better get you home, Bella, or your mom will have my head again. Can I give you a lift somewhere, Ben?"

Jake surprises me by even offering.

Now that we've gotten all of the initial introductions out of the way, I smirk and find myself able to breathe a bit easier while we wait for Ben to answer.

"Actually, Bella's dad invited me over for dinner, so I'll hitch a ride if that's okay?"

 _And now I'm going to kill my father._

I quickly pull my cell phone out from my bag to check it for any messages, but there are zero notifications from either of my parents.

 _Jerks._

My boyfriend is clearly bothered by Ben's news, and at this point, I can't blame him, because so am I.

"I had no idea he was going to be here tonight," I start to explain, hoping to settle him down before he says something embarrassing, "He ran into my dad on campus—"

"Whatever, Iz," Jake grumbles, shaking his head. "Come on."

Ben's eyes narrow after hearing my boyfriend's tone, but he remains quiet, and I'm thankful for that.

Once outside, Jake says nothing else to me, even though he's got us walking twice as fast as Ben and Jess, who are dragging about fifteen feet behind us.

I take shotgun, which puts Jess in the back with Ben, much to her delight. As soon as I'm sitting, Jake's open palm finds my upper thigh. He gives it a firm squeeze and then leans over to kiss my lips with absolute purpose and zero shame.

"How was practice, gorgeous?"

His change of mood is like a slap in the face, but it's also pretty typical for him, so I don't take it personally.

"'Twas the same. Coach won't give up on me getting that new beam dismount down before Worlds, even if it does kill me."

"Oh, stop, Bella. You're stupid close! If Felix were still our coach, you'd without a doubt already have it, but we get what we get, right?" Jess laughs and sticks her head between the two front seats to kiss my cheek.

After hearing our former coach's name, I look at Ben. His eyes are narrowed, but he's looking out the window in deep thought, acting as if he's not paying attention.

"I still can't believe he just left our team like that without even saying goodbye. Such bullshit. Our entire team would have Worlds in the bag this year if he were still at our gym. Stupid asshat. I'll never forgive him for ditching us the way he did."

"Yeah," I mumble, feeling my cheeks begin to flush as I turn back around. The sun is starting to set in the distance. Edward's supposed to call me after he gets out of work at 9:00, which is just before my phone curfew.

That should make for an interesting conversation.

 _Lord._ How did this even happen, and why would my father give Ben the information he needed to find me, knowing how we'd left things back on Prima?

Especially when he knew Jake was giving me a ride home tonight.

 _Pfft._

Who am I kidding?

My parents hate Jake.

This was deliberate and likely very much calculated. I'm absolutely sure of it. They're not that oblivious, not when we're here at home with all of my rules in place.

"So, what did you get grounded for, Little Swan?"

"'Little Swan'?" Jake snickers, glancing over at me.

I force a crooked smile. "It's a nickname of mine on the island."

"Huh. Cute. Go ahead. Tell him what you got grounded for, _Little Swan_." Jake squeezes my thigh again, and I roll my eyes with an annoyed huff.

Jess kicks at the back of my seat, forcing me to turn and glare at her. "Jake came by one night, and my mom kind of caught us up in my room when he shouldn't have been there."

Ben laughs out loud and shakes his finger at me. " _Tsk-tsk_ , Bella. Not good."

I can already feel my cheeks betraying me. I look out the window so I can hide my own impulsive smirk, and my hands instantly begin pulling at the bottom of my gym shorts.

All I can think about is how easy it feels being this close to Ben and seeing his easy smile but at the same time… not.

"Where do you live?" Jake suddenly blurts out.

He's decided silence is not our friend.

"New York. Albany."

"Why in the world would you want to go to college all the way over here? Vegas isn't as great as the movies make it out to be, FYI. There's got to be better places. And aren't you, like, a fancy football player or something? Football barely exists here," Jessica quips, joining the conversation like a freight train.

Ben laughs. "Footballs still a possibility, but I've decided it's not my life. I should be hearing back from a few schools in the next couple of weeks, but I'm due a change of scenery, and the furthest I can get from home these days, the better."

Impulsively, I turn to look at him again. There's an obvious story there with his parents. I can see it in his eyes. It's now my mission to get to the bottom of it before he heads back to his hotel tonight.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Ben?"

Leave it to Jess and her love for interrogations that have the potential to trigger even further awkwardness. I turn around to face forward but find myself on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear his answer.

 _Why do you even care, Swan?_

 _Jesus._

 _Pathetic._

 _You_ do _have a boyfriend, and he's sitting right next to you, and the boy sitting behind you broke your heart seven months ago. Not to mention there's another boy almost two thousand miles away that will forever be your everything!_

 _Enough with the bated-breath anticipation!_

 _Get. Over. It!_

"Nope. Not me. Do you have a boyfriend, Jessica?"

My best friend giggles and I bite down on my tongue.

"Only when he's home from college."

"Oh, so you're into older boys? Good to know. No wonder you get into so much trouble when you're home, Bella. Your bestie here sounds like she's a bad influence."

My eyes are literally going to roll into the back of my head, and my heart is still thumping in my chest like a mallet against a damn brick wall.

When Jake pulls into my driveway, he surprises me again by turning off the ignition, signaling he's planning on coming inside. That's not typical for him, at least not these days. The last time my mom saw him, she was screaming like a banshee and shoving his body down the stairs and out our front door with his shirt in her hand.

Today's the first day in three weeks I've actually been "allowed" to even be with Jake after school, but that doesn't mean my parents want to see him.

Without saying a word, my boyfriend rounds the front of his truck to take me by the hand, then starts walking us toward the front door refusing to wait for Jess or Ben to catch up.

"You're, um, coming inside?"

"Is that not okay?"

The fact he even wants to come in is mind-blowing.

"Well, I mean, it might be pushing your luck a little. I think we should be thankful my mom let you bring me home tonight."

He looks hurt. Within the blink of an eye, though, his hurt quickly turns into anger.

"Fine. Whatever, Iz. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

Having realized my boyfriend is about to have a minor temper tantrum, Jessica takes Ben by the arm to keep him walking, giving the two of us some much-needed privacy.

"Stop it, Jake. Don't be like this. If you want them to let you come with us to Worlds, we have to walk their line right now. Pick me up in the morning, and we'll skip first period together." I stand on my toes to kiss his cheek, and he instantly grabs at my hips to keep me right there against him.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just missing you like crazy. Only getting to see you between classes has been rough. I was hoping we'd get at least an hour alone together in my truck before your dad came home for dinner."

I'm back to smiling again.

So is he.

Jake leans down and kisses my lips three times. He slowly lets me go and tucks my loose hair behind my ears. "I'll see you in the morning. Jess, you coming or staying?" He shouts his last couple of words.

I turn to look at my friend, who's still chatting it up with Ben, and then I see her struggle as she tries to make her decision.

"She's going," I finally answer for her, following it up with a pointed look so she won't bother arguing with me. Ben smirks with his brow slightly raised, but his eyes remain fixed on the ground between us where he's been staring at my feet for the last few seconds.

I give my bestie a hug and quickly whisper that I'll try to call her later.

Jake doesn't even bother saying goodbye to Ben.

Ben doesn't seem to care.

After they back out of the driveway, I let out a loud sigh and finally relax my shoulders as I watch my boyfriend's tail lights disappear.

"He's pretty intense, huh? Not at all the type of guy I'd ever picture you with."

"Well, he's the guy I've chosen to be with since my freshman year, so I guess he's doing something right," I bluntly inform him before I turn on my heels to walk toward the front door.

"I'm just saying. He seems like the type who needs to be coddled all of the time and also have his ego stroked on the daily."

"He happens to be the most popular boy in tenth grade. In our whole school, actually."

Ben laughs. "Let me guess. That makes you the most popular girl?"

"Why are you being such a dick?"

He smirks and moves in closer. "Um, maybe because it bothers me seeing you settle for less than you're worth."

 _Did he seriously just…?_

My mother appears in the doorway right as I open my mouth to tell Ben he's being an absolute asshole.

"Benjamin Tori! What a surprise! I mean, not a total surprise, because Mr. Swan called about twenty minutes ago to let me know you were in town and might be joining us for dinner, but still. A surprise nonetheless! Come in!" She gives Ben a long hug and walks him inside, leaving me behind on our doorstep like some unwelcome vagabond.

"Nice to see you too, Mom! Practice was great! I almost got another concussion, but coach says I'm nearly there, so here's to tomorrow and doing it all again!"

Mom turns and smiles, then waves her hand in the air as if I'm some bug interrupting her very important conversation. I drop my bag in the closet at the end of the hall, kick my shoes off, and go into the living room where my brother is sitting in front of the TV looking pissed and ready to explode.

"What the hell, Bella?!"

"I don't know! He just showed up at the gym. I had no idea he was even coming into town! We haven't talked _at all_! Not even an email. I swear!"

Jasper grumbles something under his breath, then leans over to steal a quick glance into the kitchen. Our mother is currently pouring Ben a fresh glass of lemonade while they talk.

"Did she forget he's the reason you came home early last summer?"

"Oh, get over it, Jazz. I sure as hell have."

My brother laughs and then gives me a sarcastic thumbs up. "Sure you have, sis."

Our conversation stops there because Ben is now walking our way with a glass of lemonade in his hand and a nervous smile on his face. "Hey, Jasper."

Jasper nods his head but says nothing. Instead, he stands up from the couch and leaves the room, stomping his feet up the stairs and then slamming his bedroom door.

"I guess he's still more mad at me than you are."

I shrug, and Ben takes the seat beside me after a frustrated huff leaves his pursed lips. "I'm glad your parents aren't still mad at me. Three out of four isn't too bad."

I have to laugh. He's made a pretty valid point.

It's still surprising, though, that I don't feel as bothered by seeing him again as I thought I might be.

It's almost 7:30, which means my dad should be walking through the door soon. I can hear my mom setting the table and getting things ready in the dining room. Normally I'd go to see if she needs any help, but at the moment, I feel as if I'm frozen to the sofa with Ben's arm pressed against mine.

"How are your classes going?"

I smile, realizing he's noticed the silence is starting to get to me.

"All right, actually. Still got my 4.0, but I'm doing half of my classes online now so I can train more. I guess you were right about me being the smartest girl you know," I playfully tease.

Ben grins. "I only ever speak the truth, Little Swan. Always have, always will."

My body leans back, and I feel myself sink deeper into the sofa cushions.

"So you say, Tori."

He relaxes beside me. "Your house is nice. Have you lived here your whole life?"

"No. We moved here when my dad got his job at UNLV so he could be closer to the campus since my mom usually works from home."

"Oh, right. I remember hearing our parents talk about that before. How's the gymnastics stuff been going? Is your new coach as tough as he sounds?"

"She. And yes. She's awful, but I'm positioned to do really well at Nationals next month, and then Worlds, so I suck it up and accept my bruises like medals. There's actually talk of me making the national team, depending on how well I do."

Ben smiles and nods. He's picking at his jeans. The sight causes me to reach over and flick at his hand so he'll stop. "How are your sisters?" I softly question, looking to change the subject away from my training.

"Heidi's still a relentless bitch and Ri..." He pauses, clears his throat, and then runs his hand through his hair, giving it a firm tug before speaking again. "She's been going through some stuff, but she's doing okay now."

I don't like the sound of this. "What kind of stuff?" Irina's one of the sweetest people I know. The thought of her having a rough time with anything instantly causes me to worry.

"It's not my place to say. I'm sure she'll fill you in when we all get back to Prima in a few months."

 _There goes Benjamin Tori, getting all cryptic when it matters the most._

"Well, she's okay now, right? At least tell me that much."

He nods and forces a smile. "Yeah, she's fine. She's really learned how to stand on her own two feet this year. I think you'd be proud." I can't help but notice the way he's avoiding my stare, but my dad walks in and ends our conversation with the drop of his briefcase.

"Ah! He found you."

"Yeah. Thanks for the heads up, Dad." I snicker and roll my eyes. My father isn't even trying to hide his smug expression. For some reason, he looks rather proud of himself.

Ben bumps my shoulder and then stands to greet my dad. While they continue with their small talk, I casually pull out my phone to check the time.

A little over an hour until Edward calls.

Unfortunately, one of my parents' many rules is that my phone is to remain out of sight if I have a guest over. Every few seconds, Ben glances over at me and smiles, but he continues to get his ear talked off until Mom comes in to notify us that dinner is ready.

Dad starts to walk away, leaving Ben and me behind, but the two of us remain frozen.

"After you."

He holds out his hand to help me from the couch. Instead of accepting it, though, I push my body up from the cushions and walk past him without waiting. When he catches up to me, he tugs at the back of my shirt to slow me down, the same way he'd done numerous times back on Prima last summer.

"If you want me to leave, I'll leave, Bella. All I wanted was to see you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

My lips press together, and I slowly shake my head. His face is so sad all of the sudden, but behind his sadness, I can see a glimmer of hope hidden in his baby blue eyes. I take a slow step toward him and let out a sigh. "Come on, Tori. You have to eat, and my mom always makes enough food to feed another family."

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After dinner, I take Ben to our backyard where there's a small fire pit. It's the very end of February, so the air is chilly but not extreme; perfect sweater weather with a clear, dark sky. I watch him as he gathers some wood, and a true grin begins to form on my face when I realize this is just like being back on Prima and the little beach.

Throughout dinner, I found myself hanging on to his every word, even though half the conversations didn't even involve me, but he seemed just as interested whenever they did.

I don't hate him anymore.

That much is obvious.

Those feelings of heartache and disappointment are gone, which is shocking, but at the same time, it also makes sense. Life's been good for me since last summer. I'm happy. Busy. Content. Thriving.

His damage isn't permanent, and because of that, I can breathe around him without it hurting.

"Have you talked to Edward?"

I was wondering when he would bring up my soulmate's name. I'm surprised he didn't do it sooner. Even my parents seemed to avoid bringing up the Cullens at the dinner table tonight. I'd actually caught on to that during dessert when Jasper had and they'd instantly changed the subject.

"We talk almost every day," I tell him, not looking to dance around facts. "I finally got a cell phone for Christmas. It's made things a lot easier."

Ben smirks, nods, and then plops down beside me on the cushioned bench in front of the well-lit fire.

"It's like being back on Prima, sitting here with you like this."

"Ha." I'm not going to admit I've already had the same thought.

"I'm glad the creepy coach really went away."

"Yup. Me too. How was your football season?"

I'm desperate to change the subject. I've been seeing Felix around a lot lately, but Ben doesn't need to know that. He'd only worry, and there's no reason for him to. I'm a big girl. I've been doing just fine taking care of myself.

"We came in first in our district. That was a first for my school. Some scouts came out to a few games, but no one seems to be biting yet as far as scholarships go."

"Meh. You don't need one anyway."

It's no secret the Tori's are very well off, though we never really talk about that. "Do you need to be back at your hotel by a certain time?"

"Nope. I'm eighteen now and free to do as I please."

I gasp. "Oh, my God! It's... It's your birthday!"

He smiles and nods.

I'd totally forgotten.

Not that it ever mattered to me before, but now that he's said something, I feel bad for not having said something sooner.

"Wow. Eighteen. That's huge. Does it feel any different?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Nope. Just means I can vote and buy cigarettes and scratch-offs legally. Oh, and porn."

"Strip clubs too," I add, bumping his shoulder with my own. "All the strips clubs in the world. Dollar dollar bills, son!"

Ben snorts with laughter. The sound makes me smile.

"Ah, yes! This is true. Maybe I should get out of here and go see what kind of topless shows I can find over off the main strip. How far is that Bunny Ranch place from here?"

I laugh hysterically and then start to smack him, but he grabs my hand with his own.

Our eyes connect, and I'm suddenly holding my breath.

"God, I've missed your laugh."

I let out a sigh and sit up straighter. "We're not on Prima, Ben." My eyes glance toward the kitchen window just in time to see both my mom and dad jump away and close the curtain.

 _So lame._

"I also have a boyfriend… at the moment. Admittedly, we're on and off a lot, but it works for us. Even if I were still interested, I don't cheat."

"I didn't come here to try and win you back. I've had a lot of time to think about our summer together and how my actions pushed you away. Through all of that, I've realized all I want is to have you in my life. I don't want you to hate me, because thinking that you do, it's been eating away at me since the day you left the island crying."

At first, I say nothing. I can tell he's being sincere, but there's a piece of me that still wants to keep a wall up and a good bit of distance between us.

Forgiving him completely would lead to me letting him in again.

The idea of letting him in again makes me nervous.

"Did you ever read my note?"

I nod and pick at my nails. "Yeah, I did. Jess did too, which is why she's been crushing so hard on you before she even met you," I snicker.

Ben laughs. He moves in closer. "I honestly just want us to be friends, Bella. I want to go back to Prima in three months and be able to sit with you and have lunch together over on the little beach without it feeling like there are still miles between us. I don't want to feel like you hate my guts."

I'm not stupid.

Of course, I realize he would likely take more from me if more was something I was willing to give, but the sincerity is there in his tone, and I can't ignore the sadness in his eyes.

"I do think you can do better than that chump Jake, though."

I turn to hide my smirk and let out another rushed breath. "I can handle Jake. Being with him keeps all the super creeps at my school away. They know better than to even try, so long as they believe I'm already taken."

"Aha! So it's a calculated scheme you're running. That makes me feel a little better."

I allow him to see my smile for a very brief second, but I don't let it last for very long.

If I could go back in time and change anything about last summer, it would be the way I jumped head first into things with him without blinking or even taking a breath.

During all the nights we spent together alone up in my bedroom, one of the most important things I learned about Ben was that he's easy to talk to without me feeling like I need to overthink everything before it actually leaves my mouth.

Sure, I have a similar relationship with Edward. I can talk to Edward for hours about almost anything, but there are always pauses.

Pauses because there's a part of me that will forever worry I might say the wrong thing, and if I say the wrong thing, it could cause him to see me in a different light and then re-evaluate his feelings for me.

With Ben, it's different. I've never once worried about saying something that might cause him to look at me differently. I've never once worried about disappointing him, and truthfully, that's probably because I was never really in love with him the same way I love Edward.

Ben, in a way, turned into a censor-free zone for me. He was therapy. I needed that release in order to accept everything that happened with Felix, to face it head-on with my eyes wide open to finally change things.

I love Ben like a friend—that's clear to me—but it also scares me, because I don't know how Edward will feel now that he knows everything that happened between the two of us last summer.

"I forgive you," I spit out, surprising myself, "For all of it. It's in the past, and I've moved on. Lessons were learned, and I've grown from it… I think. If it hadn't been for you, who knows what would've happened. I certainly wouldn't be at my gym training and competing with my team, and that's kept me more grounded and focused than anything else this year."

Ben looks shocked.

"I want us to be friends too." I smile and shove him lightly. "Stop staring at me like I've grown a second head."

He laughs loudly and pulls me into him for a hug.

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. I started to write to you so many times. I have a folder in my email filled with messages I never sent."

I roll my eyes and shake my head, then let out a sigh before turning to stare into the fire that's blazing in front of us. "It's better you waited. I needed that time to find myself again. I needed to figure out my life."

"Well, it's about damn time I did something right."

I laugh with him and lean forward onto my elbows, propping myself above my knees. "As long as you understand we're only friends and that's all we'll ever be from now on, I think this can work."

He clears his throats and leans over beside me. "I can do that. I want to do that. I'm going to need someone to vent to when I start my courses in the fall."

I notice a light turn on from above us and glance up after realizing it's my brother. He opens his window and sticks his head over the ledge to look down. "I'm calling Alice. I shouldn't say anything about Ben being here, right?"

Ben stiffens beside me and waits for me to answer.

"When do you ever talk about my business with your girlfriend?" I shout back.

"Girlfriend?" Ben laughs.

"Yeah. They made it official on Valentine's Day," I snicker.

Jasper slams his window shut without saying anything else, and I shift my weight into Ben's shoulder to get away from the fire's smoke.

"What's been going on at your house? Why are you so driven to go to college on the other side of the country?"

I've caught him by surprise.

He wasn't expecting me to poke into his own awkward family affairs.

"You know my mom. She's having a hard time accepting the fact she's in her late forties and no longer in the prime of her life. It's… It's embarrassing. My dad doesn't even care. He just lets her do what she wants, when she wants, now that my sisters and I are all old enough to take care of ourselves. She comes home wasted more often than she comes home sober these days. Some nights, she doesn't even come home at all."

I don't know what to say. My mom likes to finish off a bottle of wine from time to time, but she at least stays home to keep her ass parked on the sofa and almost always gets in bed before my own lights turn out for the night.

"Is she, um…?"

"She's been cheating on my dad for the last two years. Maybe even longer. I've known that for a while. Fortunately, I don't think it's ever been anything serious." He pauses to take a breath, then begins to pull at the back of his neck. "By that, I mean I don't think she's cheating with one guy she'd leave us for. She's just cheating to cheat because my dad doesn't give a shit and she likes the attention."

This entire conversation is insane to me. Ben's parents have always seemed so happy and in love when we're on Prima. I never would've thought their marriage was shrouded with infidelity. Never.

"I just need to get out of their house and far away before I lose what respect I have left for them."

I feel so bad. I want to say something but the right words aren't coming to me. I reach out and place my hand over his, then give it a squeeze. He forces a smile but looks away. "Thanks for listening. You're the first person I've ever told. My sisters don't even know. Hopefully, it stays that way. It would crush Ri if she found out."

"I won't tell anyone. I promise."

Ben nods and leans into me as if it's the most normal thing in the world to do. I sit up straight and feel a chill move over us as a gust of wind sends the flames of the fire up into the air.

"I trust you, Little Swan."

Just then, my mom comes out with her hand pointing to her watch, "It's getting late, you two, and it's a school night for, Bella. Mr. Swan will give you a ride back to your hotel, Ben."

He stands and offers me his hand to help my body up from the bench. This time, I accept it, but I also make it a point to let go as soon as I'm on my own two feet.

"Say goodbye, and I'll have Bella's dad pull the car out from the garage. You can meet him out front. It was nice to see you, Ben. Summer will be here before we know it," Mom shares with a smile.

"Yes. I hope so, Mrs. Swan. Thanks again for dinner. It was delicious."

She nods, gives me a nervous glance, then leaves us behind to go back inside.

"I guess that's my cue."

He's not even trying to hide the disappointment on his face.

"Give me your phone."

Now he looks surprised, but he does as I say, dropping his cell into my opened palm with the screen already unlocked. I open up his contacts and add my number and email address, then quickly give it back to him.

"That's my number. I only get so many texts a month, so don't text me, but you can call me or email if you ever need someone to talk to."

A soft smile slowly forms on his face as he stares down at the glowing screen. "Thanks. I definitely will."

Right as he finishes his sentence, the phone begins to vibrate in his hand. It's Heidi calling. I cringe when I see her photo pop up.

"She's been bugging me all day, wanting to know if I've seen you yet." Ben nervously chuckles after sticking his phone back into his pocket.

 _Super._

 _She's probably waiting for her moment to contact Edward and tell him all about it._

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Don't tell her you saw me until you're back home."

That will at least buy me a little time to tell Edward myself.

Ben smirks. He nods once more. "No problem."

We stand there in silence, the crackling of the fire behind us and the moon above highlighting his peaceful face. "I feel so much better. Thank you for hearing me out and not sending me away or running away again." I shrug and lift my arms to hug him. He holds me against his body, and I feel his hands start to rub up and down my back after his chin rests over the top of my head. "Take care of yourself, Bella." I nod and close my eyes, realizing how nice it is to be hugged by someone who's not looking for anything more.

Jake's hugs always turn into his hands finding their way up and under my shirt these days, and I can't remember the last time one of my parents slowed down long enough to take me into their arms to help block everything else out.

"Have a safe trip home. Thanks… Thanks for coming to find me. It'll be nice not having to deal with any awkwardness when we all get back to Prima."

Ben laughs and raises his brow when I pull away to find his eyes. "Oh, there'll be some awkwardness, but at least you and I will know where we stand. That's all that matters to me."

I smirk, agreeing with him.

Deep down I know he's talking about Edward, but in time, he'll see that my feelings for Ben are strictly platonic. Nothing more, nothing less.

It'll be Edward's choice to make if he wants to accept that or make more out of it than it'll ever be.

Because it will forever be my choice to decide who I let in, and I've decided to let Ben in again.

* * *

 **A/N:** _So Ben's back in Bella's life, with very strict boundaries put into place._ Will _he abide by her rules?_

 ** _I'd love to hear your thoughts and reviews make me smile._**

 ** _As thanks for making me smile;_**

 ** _I'll share an outtake from Edward's POV when Bella calls to tell him about Ben's "impromptu" visit._**


	12. Sweet Summer Sixteen

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N:** _Many thanks to my beta, MariahajilE. She really does an amazing at job cleaning up my chaos. Hugs and more hugs to my pre-readers BPLemons, and Myonlyheroin._

 _Some *important* housekeeping; I mentioned a few weeks ago that I banged up my foot and ankle after falling from a ladder. As it turns out, I fractured my heel bone pretty significantly. Because of that, I will be having surgery tomorrow morning to have a plate and some pins put in to help piece me back together again. Just call me Humpty-Dumpty, haha. Anyways, I'm crazy nervous about being put under and also being in the hospital overnight (I hate hospitals), but everyone keeps telling me I'll be fine so I'm doing my best to think happy thoughts and stay positive. I just wanted to let you all know what was going on in case it ends up being a little longer for me to update again. As long as the pain meds allow it, I plan on doing a lot of writing while I'm recovering at home for the next couple of weeks._

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 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 11**

 **Sweet Summer Sixteen**

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When we finally get to the island, it's almost sundown and I'm an anxious wreck.

Typical of my luck these days, our flight was delayed five hours, so I've been a ticking time bomb ever since.

Mom and Dad have already warned me that I'm to stay in tonight, especially after the "attitude" I've given them "all" day. But that doesn't matter, because I have a window in my room and intend to use it later after they go to bed.

"You've got an hour before dinner, Bella. You can start your summer fresh tomorrow, and with our fresh tomorrow, we'll all hopefully have a much better day celebrating your birthday," my mother informs me as we pull our stuff from the boat, bringing everything over onto the main dock.

I nod obediently, grab my two bags without saying a word, and then take off down the wooden planks to head up the hill toward the circle.

The lights are on over at the Cullens'.

They've beaten us here this year, but no one's outside to greet us.

The Tori house is still dark. They won't arrive until late tomorrow afternoon. Ben won't be with them, though, not until next week. He and his dad have to stay back in New York to get his life ready for college, and then he'll be leaving Prima one week early to start his fall term.

When he'd written to tell me this, I'd initially felt some disappointment, but it didn't take me long to realize it was a massive blessing in disguise.

Edward and I will need our one-on-one time, especially after the way things ended last summer.

We're going to need the opportunity to find our way back to our easy, less-than-normal routine without any other outside distractions.

Ben's a distraction—not so much for me, but Edward's a different story.

I run inside our house, drop my stuff at the foot of the stairs, and then check my reflection in the mirror before bolting back out the front door again, nearly smacking into my brother where he's coming up our porch steps with his arms full of bags.

"Jesus! Watch yourself!"

"Shut it, or I won't tell Alice you're here."

"Gee, thanks, but I think she'll be able to figure that out all on her own when she sees you standing at their door!" Jasper shouts out after me. If I weren't in such a hurry, I'd turn around to smack him for his sarcasm, but all I can think about is seeing Edward and being in his arms. I continue running across the pebbled path, feeling it crunch beneath my sneakers with every stride I make. My heart's beating so fast, and my breathing is rampant, but nothing is going to slow me down now that we're here.

I'm already halfway up the steps when his front door opens.

My soulmate appears wearing a black baseball cap and a huge smile on his ridiculously handsome face, making it even harder for me to breathe. His arms open, and I run myself into him, wrapping my legs around his body as he spins me around.

"Christ, it's good to see you," Edward whispers beside my ear. "FaceTime just doesn't beat the real thing." I can feel his heart beating rapidly against my chest. It makes me smile even wider, almost to the point where my face hurts, and my eyes water up.

Happy tears begin to fall from my cheeks, and I choke back a soft sob after he slowly pulls himself back to look me in the eyes, tucking my hair behind my ears. "You're really here."

"So are you," I softly reply, still smirking as he wipes my face with his fingers.

"Happy birthday, Bella Swan."

"Excuse me, but that's not until midnight, Edward Cullen."

He grins and then slowly shrugs his shoulders. "I even brought you a real gift this year."

"What?! A real gift?! A first for the island to take!" I tease, hugging him once more.

Alice suddenly appears in the doorway a few feet away from us and offers a quiet hello.

Her boobs got bigger—a lot bigger. I almost wish I could be there when Jasper sees her for the first time. Unfortunately, mine stayed the same. At this point, after losing seven pounds from all of my training, I guess I should be happy to still have anything at all.

I hug his sister and quickly tell her to go find my brother.

Of course, I only do this because I need to be alone with hers.

Thankfully, Alice wastes no time to move past us in search of her boyfriend. We watch her leap down the stairs from the top of the porch, then take off in a sprint toward my house. She's about as graceful as a gawky seagull in the sand, and the sight makes us laugh.

"I've only got an hour before I have to be home for the night," I mumble, kicking at the floor.

Edward's face falls with disappointment. "Seriously? Why? You just got here!"

"Don't worry. I'll sneak out after they go to sleep. Let's get to the treehouse and catch the first sunset of our summer."

He nods and grabs my hand. Without saying another word, we take off down the steps toward the woods.

Something catches my eye. I stop mid-stride just before we reach the line of trees and slowly narrow my stare in confusion.

All of the lights are on over at house number four, and it looks like there's someone grilling in the backyard.

Edward turns to see what's captured my attention and then releases a huff after stepping beside me. "Surprise. Prima has new inhabitants."

"What?! No!" I pout with a hard stomp. Change is not something I enjoy. Neither is meeting new people, let alone here on our island.

No one's ever supposed to stay in house number four. Never once in the history of us coming here has it ever happened. It literally feels like I've found strangers taking up residence in our own home and they've been sleeping in our beds after eating all of our damn porridge.

"We haven't met them yet, but I did see a guy and girl. They look to be about our age. They also have a big collie. Should we say hello?"

"Meh. No. Let's go. We don't have a lot of time. Hopefully, they're leaving tomorrow." I take his hand back into mine and begin pulling him past the trees to head toward our wooden fortress that sits up high in the sky.

We don't even make it to the first meadow before he stops us from moving to put his hands at my waist and bring his lips down against mine.

Our first kiss of the summer.

It's absolutely perfect.

When we part a few seconds later, he's grinning, and I'm instantly longing for more. So much more.

"Longest damn year of my life," he whispers after pressing his forehead against mine.

I laugh and kiss him again. "You've gotten better at this," I tease, my brow slightly raised. "You'll have to thank your ex for me when you get back to Chicago."

He rolls his eyes, and we start walking again after I stand on my toes to kiss his cheek.

"Is Emmett here?"

"Yeah, he's here. He got in about two hours ago."

This is pleasant news. Last week, he wasn't sure if he'd get to come until the end of the summer. I can't wait to see Edward's older brother and hear all about his first year at college.

My own second year of high school had gone rather smoothly, aside from Jake and I having a rather public fight on the very last day of school when I broke up with him during lunch.

Truthfully, it hadn't been my fault.

I wanted to wait and talk on our way home, but he insisted we do it right then and there with our friends eavesdropping at the next table over.

He made it his not-so-subtle mission to try and keep me from leaving Vegas a single girl, but in the end, none of it had mattered. It was his own fault for not taking me seriously when I warned him what would be coming. Nothing was ever going to change my mind, and I told him that more than once during our sophomore year.

"Do you know when the Toris will get here?" Edward askes. He's avoiding my eyes but still holding onto my hand.

I hate that.

I don't want there to be any weirdness this summer when it comes to what happened last year.

Ben and I have already put everything behind us, and Edward knows that, but the few times he's brought up, I can tell there's still some lingering doubt buried deep in the back of his head.

"Tomorrow sometime, but Ben won't be here until next week. He and his dad are staying back to make sure everything will be ready to go when they return home," I casually share, doing my best to sound bored by the topic.

"What happened to your wrist?"

Edward's decided to change the subject again, even though he's the one who brought it up in the first place.

I look over at the ace bandage wrapped around my left wrist and hand, then shrug. "I bombed on the vault yesterday. Totally ate it. It's just sore, though. _This_ on the other hand..." I lift my shirt to show him the giant purple bruise traveling up and down my right side, and he flinches. "This hurts pretty damn bad."

"Jesus, Bella! Did you break a rib?"

"Nah. I just bruised a couple. I'll live, and I've got two weeks to heal before I've gotta start going over to the gym on the mainland every other day for two hours to train this summer."

He's still grimacing, so I lower my shirt and begin to walk a little faster.

"Does it hurt?"

"When I touch it. Your hug didn't seem to bother it too much, though," I tease with an easy laugh.

Edward clicks his tongue several times and shakes his head. "My dad can look at it for you."

I shrug indifferently and stretch my arms up high above my head. I feel the pain pull at my side, but I manage to hide just how much it actually hurts. "I'm fine. It just needs a few days to relax and heal. Being with you here will help with that."

His eyes remain fixated on my wrapped injury. This time, it's me who changes the subject.

"Did you ever send away for info about UCLA?"

"I did." He grins and looks down into my eyes. "My parents are already on board with the idea."

My smile matches his, and I increase my grasp around his hand.

"Good," I softly reply after leaning into him to bump his hip with my own. "That makes me happy."

"Does that mean you like the idea of us going to the same college in two short years?"

Without answering, I let go of his hand and then take off running.

The idea of going to college in two years is something I haven't really allowed myself to think about—not since learning I might actually make the national team next year, but Edward doesn't need to know that. Not yet.

"Hurry! It's the first sunset of our sixteenth summer together, and it's about to touch the horizon! We can't miss it!"

Edward chases after me, catching up right away. Once we're side by side again, he slows down to keep with my pace.

When we reach the clearing that opens up to our treehouse, we instantly increase our speed. He lets me beat him to the ladder and we're laughing the entire way, climbing past the different levels until we reach the very top way up high in the sky.

I don't hesitate to find our tiny room with its own little window.

Everything is just how we left it. Only this time, everything feels undeniably perfect again.

He stands behind me and wraps his arms around my hips, then presses my back into his chest. I feel his lips kiss my cheek, and I close my eyes as he continues down my neck until I melt in his arms with a soft sigh.

"Happy summer," I whisper.

"Happy sweet summer sixteen. I hope you're ready for everything I've been planning for us for the last year while we've been a part."

My head turns to find his kiss again, and he presses his mouth against mine so I can show him just how ready I actually am. He moans and turns me around, then pulls my hips deeper against his as our tongues collide and I lose myself in our moment. When we part, we're both breathing heavily and my heart feels as if it might beat straight out of my chest.

Without hesitation, I lift his hand with mine and place it between my breasts so he can feel just what he's done to me.

"Only you," I whisper. "You're the only boy who's ever done this to me with your kiss. My heart feels like it might explode."

His grin matches mine, and he reaches down to take my own hand and then lifts it to the center of his chest. "Same goes for you. I love the way you make it hard for me to breathe, Bella Swan."

I laugh, and he kisses me once more. This time, it's soft, and he holds my bottom lip with his teeth before slowly pulling away. "I don't want to waste a single second this summer. Not one."

Again, I giggle. "You won't get an argument out of me. I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

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* * *

When I get back to our house, I find Mom in the kitchen getting our frozen pizza out of the oven while Dad's got his head under the sink, apparently fixing a leak.

Jasper and Alice are in the living room, lying on their bellies against the floor as they play video games.

I decide to join them and plop down on the sofa to watch them until the silence starts to get to me.

Mom hates the sound of video games. Something about the repetition drives her mad after a while, so we've all learned to play with the TV on mute.

"Are you excited about high school, Alice?"

She nods but keeps her eyes on the screen while she continues to battle my brother in Mario Kart.

Alice rarely has much to say unless she _really_ has something to say. It's not uncommon for us to tease Jasper about what they talk about since she hardly ever speaks when we're all around. One on one, she's good, but add another person to the mix, and she always seems to retreat into the safety of her shell.

"Well, Jazz is scared shitless."

My brother throws a pillow my way and instantly tells me to shut up. I smirk and stand from the sofa, then go back into the kitchen to get some ice for my bruised hip.

"Is it still bothering you, sweetpea?"

I turn to glare. She knows better. I'm nearly sixteen.

"Sorry. Delete the 'sweetpea' part. How are you feeling?"

"I have two bruised ribs, Mom. It hurts."

"Well, I don't know why you were going for that layup, anyway. Coach Jane said you weren't ready."

I scoff and press the ice pack into my side, and grimace. "Coach Jane either pushes too hard or not hard enough. I'm so sick of tip-toeing because of her mood swings. That's not going to get me onto the national team."

Mom and Dad share a look.

As usual, that annoys me.

We barely placed as a team at Worlds, and it would've been a complete disaster if I hadn't changed up most of my routines at the last minute without telling our coach when we competed at Nationals this year.

I'm still bitter—very bitter—and my team is ready to strike until the gym brings in someone else before we start back up again in the fall.

I glance out the window and see the lights on over at house number four.

I notice movement on their porch.

It's the collie Edward told me about, and she's absolutely beautiful. I love dogs, but Mom and Dad have never let us have one. Allergies, so they say, though I've never seen either of them sneeze around a cat or a dog, so I'm pretty sure that's just an excuse.

"Can I go meet the people staying next door?"

Again, my parents share a look. This time, it's a little harder to read. Something's off, but they've been acting weird for the last couple of weeks.

"I'll bring Jasper and Alice with me."

Mom sighs, and then Dad clears his throat before opening his mouth to speak. "Fine. Just to say hi, and then come right back for dinner."

I smile and nod, then leave them behind to go out into the living room where I turn off the TV without warning my brother or Alice.

"What the hell, Iz?!"

"Let's go meet the intruders staying in house number four."

Jasper laughs. "Intruders?"

Apparently, my little brother hasn't noticed there are new faces on the island this summer. Probably because he's been too busy staring at Alice's face or the TV screen for the last two hours.

"Move your butts. Mom's almost got dinner ready. We have to hurry."

Jasper lets out a huff and slowly gets up from the floor before reaching back down to offer Alice his hand. She blushes, and I smile as I watch their silent exchange. On our way out the door, I notice some lightning out in the distance after a strong gust of wind swirls around us, sending my hair in a million different directions.

"Looks like a storm's going to come through tonight."

"Gee, ya think, sis?" Jasper snickers, earning himself my fist to his left shoulder while we walk along the pathway together, its pebbles crunching beneath our sneakers.

When we get closer, two older kids come outside. They stand on the porch with their arms crossed and their eyes studying our every move. It's a boy and a girl, and they both look to be about my age, just like Edward said.

Neither looks very friendly.

The girl has long, wavy, dark red hair framing her porcelain skin and green, doll-like eyes, but her stare is piercing. The boy couldn't be more different, with his medium-length jet-black hair and dark tan. His gaze is a bit softer and slightly more inviting, though.

"Hi. My name's Bella, and this is my brother Jasper and our friend Alice."

The boy comes closer.

He looks me up and down.

A slight smirk slowly forms on his face.

"How old are you, Bella?"

"I turn sixteen tomorrow. What's your name?"

"Stefan. She's Victoria. Our foster parents dragged us here for the summer. Please tell us every day won't be as boring as today was."

I return his smirk and shrug. "We've been coming here every summer since I was born. We always manage to find some fun on a pretty daily basis. Another family comes tomorrow. They have three kids our age: Ben, Heidi, and Irina. Then there's Edward and Emmett. They're Alice's older brothers. They live in the yellow house across the firepit. We're right next door."

"Yeah, I noticed you get in. We found a cool treehouse. Is that yours? I mean, I saw your names carved into the wall, so it must be."

Jasper's entire body stiffens beside me.

He's instantly bothered.

"Yes, it's ours."

 _Nicely done, Jazz._

Without even pausing to blink, my little brother's claimed our territory.

Alice smiles at her beau, apparently loving his take-charge attitude. She reaches down to hold onto his arm and leans her head onto his shoulder with purpose.

"How old are you guys?" I suddenly question in an attempt to keep the conversation going.

"We're sixteen, but I'm older. She decided she's a lesbian this year, so watch out. I can already tell you're her type, but I'm already kind of hoping you're really not."

 _Did he just…?_

Victoria hits him hard in the arm, then jumps from the top step and smiles as she walks my way. The tips of our shoes are practically touching when she finally stops moving.

"Ignore him. He's a douchebag. I'm _not_ a lesbian. I'm just all about equal opportunity."

I smile but take a slow step backward to put some much-needed space between us. "We're, um, having a big cookout tomorrow night for mine and Edward's birthdays. You guys are more than welcome to join us," I offer, trying my best to sound sincere but not too friendly. "How long are you here for?"

Stefan smiles and takes a seat on the bottom step of their porch. "Four weeks. What about you guys?"

"Six. Every year. Since I was born."

He nods just as their dog joins us, begging to be pet.

"She's beautiful. What's her name?"

" _His_ name is Jake."

Jasper and I share a look, triggering us to laugh together at the same time. "That's Bella's asshole of an ex-boyfriend's name," he quickly explains, beating me to it.

Stefan smirks. "You're single, then?"

I roll my eyes and cross my arms, taking another abrupt step back. "Technically speaking, yes. But no, I'm also not. Anyway, BBQ tomorrow night down by the beach. Usually starts at sunset. We've gotta get back home, but we'll see you guys around."

I turn and walk away, pulling my brother and Alice with me by their arms.

All the while, I can feel Stefan and Victoria staring at the backs of our heads, but I don't give in by turning around.

* * *

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* * *

It's just after midnight, and the rain is finally beginning to let up.

I've been an anxious mess thinking I might have to trek my butt through the woods during a thunderstorm, but my luck seems to have finally found me and given me clear skies. I'm, of course, taking this as a sign from the gods up above that my great escape this evening was meant to be.

When I get to the treehouse, I can already tell Edward's beaten me.

My legs and arms start climbing each ladder to the top level, and I find him in our usual room, standing there waiting for me. His eyes meet mine. With the sight of his delicious grin, I feel the beating of my heart rapidly increase. My lips suck back a breath, and I hold it deep in my lungs, waiting for him to speak.

"Jesus, I can't wait to spend all day alone with you tomorrow."

Finally, I breathe.

Finding myself unable to produce actual words, I slowly nod, silently agreeing with him. I've been thinking about our next birthday together ever since the end of our last summer.

I've been counting down the days and daydreaming about being with him again night and day, day and night, even when I was with Jacob.

After sitting down beneath the window, he holds his hand out and pulls me onto his lap and then kisses my shoulder blade. His warm mouth creates a million tiny goosebumps across my skin, and his arms wrap around my body. I flinch under his touch. He notices and then loosens his grip, but he doesn't let me go.

"Crap. Sorry. I forgot about your bruises."

"Yeah, I definitely won't be jumping from the rocks anytime soon," I softly joke, then lean over to take some of the pressure away from my ribs.

"We should just sleep here all night. They wouldn't know the difference since we always get up before dawn on our birthdays," Edward slyly suggests, kissing my shoulder once more.

It's an idea, but I didn't bring any of my stuff, and I'm not wearing a bathing suit.

Not to mention, I could use a couple of hours of sleep in a real bed before we go running around Prima all day.

When I remain silent, Edward changes the subject. "How did Jake take the breakup?"

"Not well. He told me he wouldn't take me back next year. Meh. His loss."

"Yup. It will be."

"What about Lauren?"

Lauren was Edward's most recent fling.

It was short-lived, but I could tell she kept him busy leading up to the end of the school year when our calls got shorter and less frequent during the weekends.

I feel Edward shrug from behind me.

My body spins around in his arms to glare at him. "You broke up with her, right?!"

His smirk slowly breaks free, and I smack him hard. "Don't scare me like that, you jerk!"

He laughs quietly and leans forward to kiss at my lips. "It's become my life goal to never make the same mistake twice," he whispers in my ear. "Ever."

"Except for that time you got caught cheating at school twice and got your ass kicked out."

He snorts and nods. "I'm lucky they gave me one more chance. It would've really sucked to start somewhere totally new in high school."

Of course, I have to wonder how much his parents donated to his school in order to give him his third chance, but I couldn't blame them for doing whatever it takes, especially since it's the best school in Chicago.

"I still can't believe you were dating another PK."

"Well, it's like Emmett said, they can't all be Bellas so I might as well date preachers' kids," Edward toys, slowly turning me around in his lap to face him.

My cheeks blush over the way he's looking at me, but I don't look away.

"I mean it, Bella. I'm not going to waste a single day this summer."

He kisses me, and I kiss him back. Hard. Before long, I'm lying on top of him, straddling his hips over the blanket he'd spread out, and neither of us is slowing down.

"Ahem."

As soon as I process we're no longer alone, I pull myself away from Edward. I roll over onto my knees and look behind me to where the sound of us being interrupted came from and let out a sigh.

It's Stefan.

He's grinning. It's the type of grin that begs to be smacked.

"Is this what you meant about finding ways to have fun on the island?"

I release another flustered huff and casually straighten my shirt back down in front of me.

Edward seems totally confused and also very much bothered.

"Stefan, meet Edward."

"Ah-ha! Edward! You must be the technicality Bella spoke of this afternoon."

I smirk.

Stefan's witty.

For some reason, this surprises me. It's a nice surprise. I think he notices.

Victoria appears behind him and props her hands against her hips, glancing back and forth between Edward and me.

"Sorry, Vic. She's totally straight. I just witnessed it with my own two eyes."

"Edward, meet Stefan's sister, Victoria."

"Foster-sister," she corrects me, shoving Stefan away with a light laugh.

Edward sits up straighter and starts to stand, bringing me with him.

"Sorry. We were out midnight exploring, saw the lights, and got nosey. Didn't mean to interrupt."

Edward has yet to say a single word. When it becomes clear that's not about to change, I step forward after taking his hand in mine and give it several firm pulses with my grasp.

"Right, well, you _are_ interrupting," I inform them, then glance at the doorway, hoping they'll take the hint.

Stefan smirks again and nods. He starts to turn around, taking his sister with him, and I feel my shoulders relax. "See you mañana. You two behave up here."

Victoria smiles, offers Edward a suggestive wink, and follows her brother.

I cringe and increase my grasp on his hand.

 _What the hell was that?_

My eyes glance over just in time to see Edward grinning. Now I'm glaring. When they're finally gone, I turn to face him and cross my arms.

"What?" He laughs and pretends to play dumb.

"She's into girls."

He smirks wider. "I don't know. I think she might be into boys too."

I smack him in the arm, but he grabs my hand to pull me firmly up against him. "To bad for her, we're both interested in _only_ each other this summer."

"Has a silly girl really made you that insecure, Cullen?" I softly tease.

He rolls his eyes and tilts my chin upward with the tip of his finger. "Nope. Not a girl."

At first, I think he's talking about Stefan, but then I realize he's actually thinking ahead to Ben's arrival.

As far as I know, Emmett and Ben still haven't talked since last summer. Neither have Edward and Ben.

I haven't kept it a complete secret that Ben and I have been talking, but I also haven't shared how often we actually talk. It's been better that way. For everyone.

"Can we just get this over with? Face to face so there won't be any weirdness when Ben gets here?" I plead, catching him by surprise.

"I'd rather not. We talked it out in the emails, and then we talked about him more than once after he visited you. There's nothing else to talk about, Bella. You said it's done, so it's done. You said you want to be friends with him, so be friends with him. I mean, has anything changed since he was last brought up? He's not going to school in Vegas, is he?"

"No," I laugh. "I mean, he hasn't told me where he's going, but he got accepted to UF, Notre Dame, and Clemson. I know he's leaning toward Florida, but that's all he's told me."

Edward nods and looks away.

I smile nervously and bite at my lower lip. "FYI, you're the only boy I want to kiss this summer, Edward Cullen."

"Only _boy_?"

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Who knows? Maybe I'll kiss a girl this summer. Another first for the island to take. For what it's worth, I seriously doubt I'll like it."

His head shakes, and he pulls me back against him right as a fresh crackle of thunder booms outside, it's lightning igniting the night sky.

"Maybe we should head back before we get stuck out here."

I nod and feel him kiss the top of my head.

"Is it okay if I'm the one who sneaks up to your room at night this summer?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd come up tonight and tuck me in, maybe even lie with me until I fall asleep."

His smile takes over his face, and he softly strokes my cheek. "It's safe to say I'll be wanting to do that every night we're here, now that I know it's an option."

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* * *

After a memorable day around the island, celebrating our sixteen years of life together, Edward and I are walking up the beach toward the bonfire our families have already started when Jasper comes running to meet us.

"The Toris just got here, minus Ben and his dad. Ri said they'll get here next week. Heads up: Heidi's already snuck off with that Stefan guy. He's kind of creepy. My guess is they'll hit it off really well."

I laugh, feeling pleased that Heidi will finally have someone else to drool over this summer besides Edward. "He's a foster kid, Jazz. Be nice," I playfully lecture, rubbing my hand through his hair.

I've been dying talk to Ri ever since Ben let it slip that she went through something tough last year. After scanning the area, though, I don't see her anywhere.

"I'm going to go find Irina. Is she up at their house?"

Jasper nods. "I think so. She disappeared with Alice about ten minutes ago to get her speakers."

"Okay. I'll be right back. Can you make me a plate, Edward?"

He cocks his brow suspiciously and then squeezes my hand before lifting it up to his lips. "Don't be too long. We've got to get this part over with so I can give you your gift, and then we can all escape to the treehouse for the rest of the night."

I stand on my toes to kiss his cheek. "Ten minutes tops," I tell him, then give him a quick wink and take off up the hill toward the circle where all of the houses sit.

When I reach the Tori house, I find the door cracked open. This isn't weird on the island. Usually, it's a sign to just come on in. Still, I tap lightly against the door's frame before actually stepping inside and looking around.

"Hello?"

No one answers.

My feet bring me all the way inside, and I carefully push the door closed before quietly heading down the hall. I touch the wall with my fingertips, tracing its tacky shade of green and I allow myself to remember the last time I'd been here.

I'd caught Ben in his room with Rose and ran down this very hallway, crying my eyes out, past his bitch of a sister who'd held the door open for me with a wicked grin on her face.

Being here doesn't bother me, though.

In fact, I almost smirk as I recall my overly dramatic exit after realizing how much things have changed since then.

My eyes steal a quick glance out the front window, and I notice Ri is now down on the beach with everyone else, including Alice.

"Dammit."

Just as I turn to leave, I hear something.

The sound causes me to freeze.

My eyes go wide.

There's obvious moaning coming from the master bedroom just past the kitchen where I'm now standing.

It's subtle and not persistent, but it doesn't take me long to realize what it is I'm hearing.

I glance out another window and quickly count the heads of everyone who's standing around on the beach.

The only person I see missing, aside from the noobs, is Mr. and Mrs. Tori, but Jasper already mentioned Mr. Tori wasn't even here.

That's when I remember everything Ben told me about his mom and what she'd been up to back in New York.

Without hesitating, I start to inch myself closer toward the room where the door's cracked open and the moaning continues. I cover my mouth to keep myself from uttering a sound and then bite down on my index finger for extra insurance.

 _Is already hooking up with Victoria and Stefan's foster dad?_

 _Impossible._

 _That would have to be a world record in adultery._

 _Jasper said they just got here._

I stop at another window and look toward the beach again.

My dad is there—thank God—and so is Mr. Cullen.

 _Holy shit!_

 _It has to be the new dad!_

When I reach the cracked door, I carefully lean over and peak through its narrow opening.

My eyes blink hard several times. Instantly, I regret my decision to be nosey.

It's— It's Emmett.

Emmett's the one with Ben's mom, and her hand is deep in his pants, grabbing at his dick, while he kisses her neck and massages her breasts.

When she starts to get down on her knees, I run. Everything's a daze after that. Nothing makes sense anymore. Running back down this hall is the worst kind of deja vu. I'm even wearing the same stupid shirt I'd been wearing last summer.

Without stopping, I bolt straight out the front door, leaving it wide open, and then quickly head into the woods, all the while feeling my chest get more and more tight with every leap my legs take.

Hopefully, no one sees me.

I need to be alone.

I need to be alone to process everything I've just seen because right now, I feel like I'm going to throw up... and then I'm going to kill Emmett.

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* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ _So there you have it. Answers about Emmett. Finally._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts on where you think this summer will go with Edward, Bella and the two new faces on the island. As well as what Emmett's been up to and how deep it goes (no pun intended, haha). Remember, his college isn't very far from where the Tori family lives year round. *wink*_

 _ *****Reviews make me smile, and I could use ALL the smiles**_

 _ **thanks to my impending surgery tomorrow.*****_

 _ **As thanks for your words, I'll share an outtake from Edward's POV while he and Bella are out on the island adventuring on their birthday.**_

 _ **Let's just say Bella slips up with something she says, but Edward doesn't miss it.**_

 _ ***wink***_

 _P.S. If you haven't noticed, the previous outtakes are now posted on my FFn profile._

 _However, the outtakes from this current summer will not be shared publicly until their summer 16 wraps up._


	13. Action Without Reaction

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight or its original characters. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story._

 **A/N: _Thanks for coming back. I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update this story. If you read my last A/N you know I had foot surgery back in November. Well, everything went pretty smoothly with that, and I've finally graduated from my knee scooter to walking with a cane this week- yay for sweet slow progress! Aside from my foot though, I've recently had to deal with some other pretty wild and then heartbreaking things and that's honestly what kept me from coming back sooner. Let's just say pregnancy loss sucks and it's no easier the second time around. I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, so now I'm just doing my best to stay focused on my distractions and remain in my happy place... my happy place being knee deep in writing these stories. I'll be aiming to do bi-weekly (if not weekly) updates from here on out. Many thanks to my pre-reader, BPlemons, *mwa*!_**

 _ **Now, let's get back to Prima.**_

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 **Nothing Gold Ever Stays**

 **Chapter 12**

 **Action Without Reaction**

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 **...BELLA…**

As soon as I reach the first tree lying across the ground, I take a seat over its dead rotting trunk and rub my hands up and down my arms to settle my breathing.

The sun is about to set over the blue and green ocean water.

I can see the shades of red mixing in with the yellow and burnt orange as they begin to take control of the sky high above me.

My hands find my face, and my head begins to shake side to side while I mumble incoherently into my open palms. I do this over and over again until my need for fresh air eventually takes control.

"No, no, no, no!"

What did I just witness? How could he?! Why would he? How could SHE? What is even happening?!

Am I losing my mind, or has the entire universe tilted into some bizarro world where nothing is supposed to make sense, and it was all just a figment of my twisted imagination triggered by the hot summer sun?

Emmett with Ben's mom… like that… in that way...

Just, no.

I've never been more repulsed in my entire life.

The way they were going at it, and the fact Mrs. Tori had literally just arrived… clearly, that wasn't the first time they've hooked up. Clearly, it was something they've both been planning and anticipating for quite a while.

 _Oh my, God, does Ben know?_

 _Is this what they were arguing about last summer when we'd all first arrived at Prima, and they weren't talking?_

 _Is this why Ben's been fighting with his parents and why he's become so desperate to leave their home to start college in the fall?_

It must be.

It has to be.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

My head falls into my lap, and I take in a deep breath, then slowly exhale. When I sit back up again, I close my eyes and do my best to focus on the sounds coming from the trees where their branches are swaying in the wind above me.

If I really listen hard, I can hear laughing coming from the main beach.

My family and friends are managing to have a good time without me.

Their world is unchanged.

 _How nice for them._

Just as my heart begins to settle down, a brand new panicked thought rushes over me.

 _What if Edward goes looking for you?_

 _What if he walks in and sees his stupid brother standing there with his pants at his ankles and Mrs. Tori on her knees?_

Like a bolt of lightning, I jump up from where I'm sitting.

My legs carry me over the soft grass and dirt leading my way between all of the trees so I can get back down to the water. When I reach the clearing, I take in one last deep breath then carefully let it all out, shaking my arms down at my sides.

Edward sees me right away.

He smiles, not really noticing that I've come down through the woods, then holds out a plate as soon as I'm a few feet away, "I was just about to go looking for you. Ri showed up right after you took off. You must have just missed each other."

I force a smile of my own and look over his shoulder where I see Alice and Irina giggling together in secret. I envy their carefree spirit and instantly wish I could rewind my life and go back in time to erase the x-rated images of Emmett and Mrs. Tori that are still wreaking havoc in my head.

"Everything okay? You look a little pale."

I'm being too quiet.

 _Edward's going to catch on._

 _Act normal, Swan, or suffer the consequences!_

"What? Yeah. I'm... I'm Fine. Actually, I think I'm getting a headache. Too much sun and fun today," I lie, rubbing at my temples.

"Well, eating something should help. Plus the sooner we get finished with this, the sooner we can get out of here and up to the tree house without any adult supervision."

A soft smile finds its way across my lips, and my cheeks flush. Edward's entire face lights up with my reaction making me grin even more.

"The absence of adult supervision will be very much needed tonight," I tease before popping a small cherry tomato into my mouth.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone coming down from the circle at the top of the hill.

It takes everything in me to not turn and look, but I already know if I see Emmett or Mrs. Tori I'll likely give myself away by vomiting all over my shoes.

The best thing for me to do is avoid any and all eye contact for the time being because I've never been very good at hiding my disgust in others when they give me a reason to be disgusted.

Another flaw of mine that Mother likes to point out from time to time.

"Hey-hey-hey, Little Swan! Happy sweet-sixteen!"

The sound of Emmett's voice causes me to cringe and dig my fingernails into my palms. He nudges me when I remain frozen in place, and I flinch once more after he drops his arm over my shoulder to pull me in for a hug.

No one seems to notice my stiffened state.

No one except for Victoria that is.

I'd missed her taking a seat, but there she sits with a devious smile plastered on her well painted up face. Thankfully, she remains silent. Even after I look away though, I can still feel her eyes watching me, studying my every move.

"How about we eat and then you and I can go sit in the hammock up on the hill away from all of this socializing until it's cake time?"

I nod, instantly loving his suggestion, and begin to nibble on the food from my plate while everyone else continues to talk around us. My ears attempt to listen while they share their PG-rated stories about the last year of their lives back on the mainland, but it's absolutely impossible for me to focus.

They're of course saving the juicer stories for later on this evening when we're all at the top of the tree house without any adult ears nearby to eavesdrop.

"So you've all literally known each other your entire lives? That's so wild!" Victoria loudly questions, finding a way to jump in and join the conversation.

"Practically. I was a little older than these runts, so my memories can still recall the time when Bella wet the bed and tried to hide it by burning her sheets in the woods before the sun was even up."

I glare in Emmett's direction and toss a carrot stick at his head, "Shut it, Cullen!" I warn through clenched teeth, staring hard into his joker like eyes, "I was five years old."

He laughs and picks up the carrot from where its landed on the table then takes a big bite before flicking it back my way.

Without saying anything else, I swallow down the last of my water and then slam my cup over the table in front of me, "Come on. Let's go up the hill."

Edward looks over.

He's surprised by my sudden need to escape his brother's typical taunts.

Usually, I'd dish it right back when Emmett starts to tease me, but tonight I'm not in the mood.

"Yeah, sure, um let's go. Em, let us know when it's time to cut the cake."

Emmett smirks and winks in our direction.

At this point, I'd love nothing more than to smack him upside his big stupid head, but I manage to keep my fists in my lap and bite down on my tongue instead.

"Sure thing lovebirds. Better keep those hands where we can see them or Bella's dad might start carrying his gun around the island this summer!"

As soon as we're walking away from the table, I feel Edward's hand grasp mine. He pulls it up to his lips and kisses it three times, then lets out a soft huff, "I was thinking, maybe we could skip the group pow-wow tonight, or at least cut it short? We could go do something alone instead? Maybe even watch a movie over at my house if you're still not feeling well?"

I force a smile and look up into his eyes, "That would be nice. I like the movie idea. Your house should at least be quiet. My dad's still banging around in our kitchen trying to fix the leak in the sink."

"It's a date then," he grins, "Just me and you… and then I can give you your present without an audience cracking any jokes in the background."

A truer smile sneaks across my lips this time, and I finally feel myself beginning to relax. "You really shouldn't have gotten me anything. Now I feel guilty for not bringing you a gift."

"Meh, you can make it up to me in other ways," he casually teases back, bumping my hips two times with his hands. I laugh at his words and watch him take a seat in the hammock before he pulls me down beside him. My head leans into his shoulder. Once our bodies are swaying in the air, I let out a soft sigh and snuggle myself more deeply up against him.

My eyes look back toward the beach, and I spot Mrs. Tori laughing with my parents. I instantly notice Emmett also watching them from the table where he's still sitting with the rest of the youngling tribe.

How I hadn't noticed it before is a mystery.

Now it all seems so blatantly obvious.

He's infatuated by her. Absolutely smitten and love drunk with stupidity. It's all over his face, and once again, it's making me want to vomit.

I want to forget, but I still have to wonder… how much longer can their affair possibly go on before someone else finds out.

Because someone else will find out and when they do it could potentially change everything.

The thought of anything changing scares me to death.

It doesn't take me long to realize I need to keep this secret mine, but I also need to find a way to confront Emmett.

He needs to know he got sloppy so it won't happen again.

My primary goal; Avoiding any and all conflict that might send the Cullen's home early before our time here on Prima is supposed to end this summer.

It's selfish, but I have no other choice.

I've been made an accomplice, whether I like it or not because I'm not about to let someone else's lust filled actions ruin my summer.

Not this year.

* * *

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* * *

It's almost one in the morning when Edward forces himself to walk me home.

We kiss on my porch, and he holds onto my hips until my mother begins flashing the light above our heads, letting us know it's time for me to come in since I've already missed my curfew.

"See you in about an hour?"

"My window will be open."

His smile kisses the top of my hands, and then he turns on his feet to leap down from my porch onto the loose gravel that will lead him back to his house.

When I get upstairs, I find Jasper's door wide open.

He's lying on his bed in his pajamas playing his Nintendo Switch with his eyes glazed over in zombie mode. As soon as he notices me standing there, he pulls out his earbuds and sets his game to the side.

His stare sets on the new piece of jewelry I'm wearing, and I let out a huff while I wait for him to comment.

"Alice told me Edward got you something special."

My hand reaches up to grab hold of the two entangled hearts, one platinum, and the other yellow gold, where they're dangling from the delicate chain Edward had clipped around the back of my neck.

"He had it made for me. His friend's dad is a jeweler in Chicago," I casually explain.

I'm trying to hide my own smile, but I can instantly feel my cheeks betraying me.

"Yeah, that's what Alice said. It's nice. How's your head?"

"Better," I answer then turn around to head down the hall toward my own room. Unfortunately, I hear Jasper jump off his bed to follow me. Before I can close my door, he pushes past me to land on top of the bean bag chair in the corner of my room.

When he lets out a sigh I know I'm in trouble.

"Since your head is better... can we talk a sec?"

A rushed breath leaves my lips. I shrug reluctantly then belly flop onto my bed with a loud sigh, "Sure. What's up?"

"That Stefan guy was asking a lot of questions about you tonight."

My brow slowly raises, and I begin picking at my comforter without looking in my brother's direction, "Yeah and?"

"I just thought you should know. It seemed to bother Heidi. She couldn't keep her hands off the guy, but he seemed to be more interested in getting all the details on you and Edward."

"Poor Heidi. I'm sure that probably crushed her," I reply with a laugh, before rolling over onto my back to stare up at the ceiling.

"Emmett already warned him to mind his business and keep his distance."

"Well, Emmett can put his cape away. I don't need him to step in as my bodyguard. Stefan is harmless. So is Victoria."

"I figured you'd say that. I just thought you should know. He really gives me the creeps, and I don't care what you say, his sister is odd too. They're weird kids. I don't trust them."

I roll my eyes and I shoot my brother a sarcastic thumbs up, then point my finger toward the door signaling that it's time for him to go.

It's been a long day, and my head is still feeling all kinds of cloudy thanks to everything my eyes had witnessed just before the sun had set on my birthday.

The last thing I need is a reason to worry about the two rando's who have infiltrated our island for the summer... but, we get what we get, so I know better than to complain.

* * *

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* * *

A full week has passed since our return to Prima island.

Seven glorious days of me spending morning, noon, and night with Edward from the time I open my eyes to start the day, until the second I close them each and every night.

Life here is perfect and being sixteen is amazing.

Tonight we have plans to meet up with everyone over on the little beach to have our first overnight bonfire without the adults.

I've done a phenomenal job at avoiding Edward's older brother thus far, but after watching him talk and laugh with Mrs. Tori during lunch today, I've now decided tonight will have to be the night I confront him with everything I know.

To say I'm feeling nervous would be an understatement, but if I don't get it off my chest soon, I might start talking about it in my sleep when Edward's around.

That would be good for no one.

"Whatch'a thinking about in that head of yours?" Edwards' voice suddenly questions, snapping me back to reality.

I shrug my shoulders and squeeze his hand as we step through the sand to meet everyone else where the fire is already reaching for the sky, and the moon is watching from high above.

We've brought our sleeping bags even though our parents hadn't exactly given us permission to stay out overnight.

When we left the circle, the adults were at least six wine bottles in. This, of course, means they'll be passing out without worrying about any curfews this evening, sparing us from any potential reprimands in the morning.

Especially since they'll be too busy nursing their own hangovers once the sun does rise over the island to start a brand new day.

The closer we get to our clan the more annoyed I begin to feel over the fact I'll have to share my time with Edward. We've done such an excellent job at staying in our bubble. I'm really not ready for it to be invaded yet.

"Maybe once everyone starts to pass out we can sneak over to the tree house and set up our sleeping bags in there for the night?"

I smile loving his suggestion.

"Sounds perfect."

"What's perfect?"

Heidi's managed to sneak up from behind us.

 _Super._

She squeezes herself between Edward and me and then links her arms through ours so the three of us can walk in unison like slow-moving soldiers in the sand.

"Nothing," I quickly mumble, "Where's Stefan?"

"He'll be down later with his sister. He's going to sneak some weed from his dad's stash! Will you two be up for it, or does that go against your elite gymnast training stuff, Bella?"

I share a look with Edward and we both shrug at the same time. This makes me smirk with a shake of my head. He smiles in return and then winks in my direction before clearing his throat to answer our friend, "Emmett was able to grab a bottle of something on his way out. Our parents were already so trashed, they didn't even notice him take it right from the table in front of them."

Heidi squeals with excitement and leans her head into Edward's shoulder before releasing our arms to walk backward from in front of us. She glances back and forth between our faces and lets out a dramatic sigh, "We're only one week in guys, but this summer has already been so different for us. I like it. The changes. I can't wait to see what the next couple of weeks will bring. I predict this will be a summer on Prima that none of us will ever forget!"

I laugh and take Edward's hand back into mine as soon as she's no longer wedged between us. After that, she turns to take off toward the fire, and we continue through the sand until we reach the first log to take a seat together facing the flames.

Jasper and Alice are already across the pit whispering with their heads pressed tightly together while Irina and Emmett work on the pile of wood they've started to collect for the night.

I still haven't gotten Ri alone to talk about the past year of her life, or the problems she's had with her parents.

Actually, now seems as good a time as ever.

Just as I start to stand, Emmett, leaps up onto one of the larger rocks by the pile of wood and clears his throat to gain everyone's attention before he begins to speak.

"Alright, now that we're all here—"

"Um, not _all_ of us are here!" Heidi snickers just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Stefan is clearly on her mind.

"Sorry. Let me rephrase that for you, Heidi. Now that those of us who actually matter are here," Emmett corrects himself with a wicked smirk, "Let's get the party started!"

I watch with my eyes wide after he leaps back down into the sand and then he reaches into his red duffel bag. When he pulls out a bottle of what appears to be chocolate flavored vodka a slow smile spreads across my face.

His hand twists the cap from the rim, and he lifts the large glass bottle up to his mouth to take several long gulps before closing it up to toss it into Edward's lap.

Edward and I share a look, and I take the bottle from his hands when he doesn't move. Once I swallow back a fair amount of warm chocolaty goodness I wipe my mouth with my hand and pass the bottle back over to him.

This time, the love of my life succumbs to the peer pressure.

He even outdoes me with his own loud gulps, and he doesn't even grimace in the process.

When he grins my way, I give him a playful shove just as Heidi appears in front of us to take the bottle of booze from his hands.

"Oh! I love this stuff! I got so wasted during Spring Break on a bottle of this with some of my friends! Ben had to come to pick me up so I wouldn't get in trouble trying to walk home."

I watch her wince from the one shallow swallow she does eventually take and then laugh out loud when she gags on cue before quickly handing the bottle over to my brother and Alice.

"How's your bruise today?" Edward whispers into my ear.

His warm breath against my neck sends instant goosebumps across my exposed skin.

I turn to look at him and smile with a soft shrug leaving my shoulders, "I've hardly noticed it, to be honest, so I guess it's feeling much better."

"Yeah, you haven't been hugging yourself nearly as much today."

"Well, that's because you've been the one hugging me instead," I tease back, then lean over to kiss his lips. He's quick to place his hand at the back of my neck to prolong our moment, and I don't pull away. In fact, I deepen our embrace and wrap my arms around him with the purpose to climb right up into his lap while we continue to go at it right there in front of everyone with zero shame.

"Hey now! One round of liquor does not give the two of you a free pass to start acting like horny teenagers for the supreme youngins here to witness and take notes from!" Emmett's voice suddenly booms from close by.

I pull myself away from Edward's lips then purposely press my forehead against his after letting out a sigh, "I really can't wait until they all go to sleep."

My soulmate laughs at my words and then nods in agreement just as Stefan and Victoria appear out of nowhere.

"Sorry, we're late. The parental units insisted on a family dinner tonight then a super duper fun prayer circle."

No one says anything, but Heidi does leap up from her seat to launch herself into Stefan's arms and kiss at his cheek.

Edward and I roll our eyes, and even Emmett lets out a loud snort before asking the Prima rando's if they've brought anything to contribute to our party.

"Just a pre-rolled blunt filled with some grade-A green stuff. Will that suffice as our offering? The foster father has a box filled with them. He won't even notice it's gone."

Emmett's eyes light up almost instantly and his smile doubles, "Well this changes everything, let's get that thing lit shall we?" He tosses Stefan a lighter after pulling it from his pocket then takes a seat in the sand not too far away from where we're sitting.

When Emmett's eyes catch mine, I suck in a breath and quickly look away.

We still need to talk, but when we do, I want to catch him off guard.

That way I'll be able to tell if he's actually telling the truth. The truth will be imperative.

The blunt gets passed around, but both my brother and Alice choose not to participate.

Within an hour, and thanks to several more rounds with the bottle of spiked chocolate, I'm feeling nice and buzzed.

"Hey, you."

I hadn't even noticed Stefan's arrival but he's suddenly sitting right beside me.

His professional randomness causes me to jump and laugh into the air, "Jesus Christ! Your ninja skills are not welcomed here."

"Sorry," He chuckles, "I didn't think you'd scare so easily. You don't seem the type."

He moves in a little closer and taps my foot with his then leans back beside me. My body is swaying from side to side while my fingers trace spirals in the sand, but there's no music playing in my head.

For once things are actually quiet.

Edward and Emmett had gone off into the woods to find a place to pee, so up until now, I've been enjoying my quiet time by the fire, being entranced by its dancing flames and crackling wood.

"You just caught me by surprise," I eventually reply, then steal a quick glance over my shoulder toward the line of trees. I squint my eyes but see no one in the distance. Not even a beam of light coming from a flashlight in the woods.

"Huh, so that's the secret… catching you by surprise. Good to know."

I roll my eyes but say nothing.

"I should've brought my speakers down here with me. I figured you guys would have that under control since you're the beach bonfire professionals."

"Irina is usually in charge of the music," I inform him with a huff. My eyes look across the fire, and I see Ri and Victoria laughing together with a bag of chips between the two of them.

Jasper and Alice disappeared about fifteen minutes ago to walk by the water and Heidi… well, I'm not sure what happened to her.

"Where'd your girlfriend go?"

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, Heidi."

Stefan laughs and shakes his head then bumps his shoulder into mine before smirking my way.

"Oh! You mean _my_ technicality?"

His quick and witty comeback causes me to laugh as well, but even in my current tipsy state, I know better than to allow myself to relax around him.

"She said something about having a surprise, but she had to run back up to the circle real quick to get it. I saw Edward finally give you some room to breathe so I figured I'd come over and keep you company."

I dig my feet deeper into the sand then lean further back to look up toward the cloudless sky and all of its twinkling stars.

"Edward lets me breathe plenty. He's my heart though. Without him, I'm not sure I'd want to breathe at all. You should have picked up on that by now."

"Oh, I have. I've also been schooled by everyone here on this island several times over. It's some love story you two have. It must really suck when the summer ends, and you have to say goodbye. It can't be easy… a long distance relationship when you're only sixteen."

Without even thinking I inform Stefan that Edward and I don't attempt the long distance thing when we're apart and that we both see other people off the island when the summer does end.

His grin over this news is more than obvious, so I shove him hard with my hands then shift my weight to put some more space between us.

"We're not dumb. It would only lead to problems if we tried. In a few years, we can be together all of the time once we start college. For now, we make the most of the time we have when we're here on Prima. Which is why we avoid the rest of you like the plague during the daylight hours."

"Yeah, I haven't taken it personally, and I've also honored your need for alone time the couple of times I've happened upon the two of you when you've been out doing your thing here on Prima."

My eyes go wide, and I feel my cheeks flush.

 _What exactly is he referring to?_

 _What has he seen?_

"Don't worry," Stefan laughs, "I've yet to cross the line into total voyeurism. Edward's a lucky guy though. The two of you clearly know how to have a good time together when no one else is around."

I'm officially creeped out and beyond embarrassed.

It's time to change the subject, and I need to do it fast.

"Heidi seems to be enjoying your company and keeping you busy," I snicker without taking a breath.

My head is still spinning over all of the possible moments Stefan might have witnessed, but I do my best to brush those thoughts aside.

"Heidi is fun, but she's predictable… and a bit clingy. That being said, having her around has at least helped pass the time while I've been stuck here on this island. Poor Vic hasn't been as lucky, but I do think her luck might be changing after tonight."

I slowly narrow my eyes and follow Stefan's devilish gaze across the fire pit to where Victoria and Irina are still smiling together and talking.

It only takes me a few seconds to realize what he's insinuating, and I gasp after sitting up straighter in the sand.

"No! Ri is not into girls. Victoria is wasting her time barking up that tree." I inform him, pairing my words with another hard shove to his shoulder.

He laughs with his brow raised then nods two times before leaning himself back into me. "Oh, I think she might be. At least a little bit anyway and Vic's been picking up on that vibe since the moment they met. She made it her mission tonight to test the water a little and see what might happen. It looks like things are going pretty well so far. Hopefully, it lasts so Victoria will stop being such a pill."

Just then Emmett and Edward reappear from over the tallest sand dune. They're laughing about something, but their laughter instantly drops when they notice I'm sitting all alone with Stefan.

"I was starting to worry the two of you got lost."

"Haha right, not on this island. Stefan come help me stab some hot dogs to sober these guys up before they start passing out for the night. No one will want to be hungover when the sun starts to come up over the water at seven in the morning." Emmett requests with a purposeful nod coming from his head toward the cooler on the other side of the fire pit.

As soon as they're gone Edward takes his spot next to me and brings my hand into his then up to his lips.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, Edward. Everything is fine. We were only talking. Actually… he did say something that was pretty ridiculous. He seems to think Irina might be into Victoria. Like… into her— into her."

When I look up and see the smirk hiding in Edward's eyes, I instantly begin swatting at his arm.

"Seriously?! How in the world am I the last person to know this?"

He laughs and shrugs his shoulders then wraps his arm around my hip to bring me in closer up against him, "Emmett pointed it out to me the other night. It actually makes sense when you think about it. She's never gushed over boys the same way the rest of you girls do."

"Just because a girl doesn't act stupid over boys, that doesn't mean she's gay," I grumble under my breath after firmly crossing my arms in front of me.

"You're just mad she hasn't told you yet."

"Yes. Yes, I am mad, but I'm also too tipsy to address that fact tonight, so I'll just sit over here and take notes for tomorrow via my silent observations, and then I'll corner her about it in the morning."

Edward laughs again and slowly stands up, pulling me with him, "You could do that, or we could go for a swim while everyone else is busy stuffing their faces with hot dogs."

My brow raises, and I reach out to tap his nose with my finger, "Okay, fine. Your idea is better than mine. Race you!"

Without even giving him a second to react I take off running.

I pull at my t-shirt to toss it to the ground and kick the rest of my clothes from my body so that I'm wearing nothing but my swimsuit when we get to the water. I manage to hit the waves before he does, but I can feel him right behind me.

It doesn't take him long to catch up and when he does his hands find my hips while we bob up and down with our feet still able to touch the sand beneath the water.

My head turns to look over my shoulder, and I see the bonfire glowing in the distance with all of our friends still sitting around enjoying their fourth meal of the day in hopes of sobering up a little before they call it a night.

"Just a couple of more days until you've gotta start going over to the gym on the mainland. Are you ready?"

"No," I mumble, with a huff, "But I need to get back at it. It'll be nice to see Bree again. We didn't get to talk much at the last comp we were both at."

"Will it be okay if I tag along?"

"Of course! I mean, you better come with me! Zero time apart this summer. Remember?" I laugh, leaning in to kiss at his lips. His grasp around my hips increases and he carefully presses my body further against his.

When his eyes soften I instantly know what he's thinking because I've already been thinking the same thing all day.

"It's going to be so much harder saying goodbye to you this summer, Bella. This first week has already been—"

I swat at his arm to hush him and then cover his mouth with my index finger, "Stop. We still have so much time left. I don't want to focus on any future goodbyes. Not yet."

He forces a smile then reaches his hand out of the water to tuck some of my wet hair behind my ears before he kisses me again, "Okay. You're right. No countdowns this summer. We will treat every day like the first with no end of it in sight until we're standing at the airport being pried apart by our parents."

I nod in agreement and tilt my head to rest it over his shoulder then hug him against me never wanting to let go, "I'm still ready you know… I mean, whenever you're ready... We're not allowed to leave this island virgins this summer. It has been written, Edward Cullen."

I'd barely gotten the words out without giggling, but thankfully my lips are right beside his ear, so I know he's heard me just fine.

"Soon. I just want it to be perfect... Without any chance for interruptions. That's important to me."

I smile from behind him and slowly lift my legs to wrap them around his hips so he'll be holding me in the water.

"Yeah, interruptions would _not_ be fun."

He laughs softly beside my ear then shifts my body to find my lips with his. We kiss under the moon for several perfect minutes until it's obvious we're nearing troubled water if we don't slow things down and take a breath.

"Soon honestly can't come _soon_ enough, Bella Swan."

My head nods in agreement with him, and I motion with my hand that we should head back up toward the shore.

My buzzed like state is starting to wear off and I'm feeling good and ready to get cozy in a sleeping bag after sharing a veggie dog with him by the fire.

Once we're out of the water, it doesn't take us long to dry off.

Just as we round the bigger sand dune to get to the fire pit, I stop dead in my tracks and my mouth opens in disbelief.

When our eyes meet, and I feel my hand let go of Edward's I instantly hate myself for it, but the damage has already been done meaning I can't take it back now.

It's Ben.

Ben is here… sitting on one of the shorter logs next to his annoying sister and Stefan with a beer bottle in his hand and an all too familiar smile on his face.

"Hey, Little Swan. Edward. How was the water?"

"Ben. H- hi. You're… you're here," I stutter, shifting my weight side to side in the sand.

He nods and smiles then stands up to offer his hand out toward Edward.

There's a good couple of awkward seconds where no one says anything, but when they finally do slap their hands together and embrace for a short hug, I find myself able to breathe again.

Our own hug is short, mine and Ben's, and as soon as he releases me from his arms, I purposely take a step back to bring Edward's hand back into mine. No other words are shared between us, and thankfully, Jasper makes it a point to start up a brand new conversation that takes the attention away from us and brings it onto him instead.

I make a mental note to remind myself to thank my brother for that at a later time.

"I'll fix us a plate," Edward tells me after slowly letting go of my hand, "Go ahead and sit down so you can warm up by the fire."

I don't even notice when Stefan sneaks up on me again, but when I turn around to find our sleeping bags, I almost run right into him and his beer.

He holds out the freshly lit blunt we hadn't finished earlier in the night then smirks down into my eyes with his brow playfully raised, "I figured you could use this. What with your _other_ technicality making an early appearance on the island."

"Pft, I have no idea what you're even talking about. Stop being weird. I have no _other_ technicalities on this island. Only one."

"That's not what I've heard, but whatever you have to tell yourself to keep your sanity in check."

My eyes roll to the right, and my hand impulsively reaches out to take the blunt from his hand. I take two quick puffs, hold them in then slowly exhale before giving it back. "Thanks. Have fun gossiping with Heidi. Just remember her reality is much different from the rest of the worlds."

Stefan laughs and shrugs his shoulders, "I guess only time will tell. This summer is certainly looking much more entertaining, and a lot less predictable. I'm looking forward to being here for the ride."

I glance over and catch Ben watching us from where he's sitting on the other side of the fire pit.

When our eyes meet he smiles without hesitating, but I quickly look away not feeling ready enough to acknowledge his existence.

"Leave it alone, Stefan. Heidi will be your only source of entertainment while we're here on this island and your days here will continue to remain very much predictable. Promise," I warn with my eyes now narrowed, and my arms crossed in front of my chest.

He laughs and shakes his head, silently disagreeing with me, but before I can say anything else Edward is back, and Stefan excuses himself to go sit with his sister and Irina.

"You okay?"

"Totally okay. Are you okay?" I grumble back, not meaning to sound so short tempered with him, but that's precisely how it came out.

He lets out a rushed breath and nods his head toward our spot on the sand, "I'm fine. Ready to eat and wait for these morons to pass out so we can disappear to the treehouse for the rest of the night?"

Now I'm back to smiling, and it's entirely because of him and his existence that I'm able to breathe again.

* * *

 **A/N: Bella still needs to have her talk with Emmett, Irina might be into girls, Stefan is a creeper with wandering eyes, and Ben returns. Let's just say the next chapter is going to be a lot of fun but I'd love to hear your thoughts about this one first. *wink***

 *****Reviews help me smile*****

 **As thanks for helping me smile;**

 ***I'll share an outtake from Edward's POV taken from when Bella lets go of his hand after they see Ben sitting at the bonfire.***

 **Ah, I almost forgot! I started posting a new story titled Roadies. It's been A LOT of fun so far. If you haven't already checked it out, I hope you'll give it a chance and let me know what you think.**


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